After work, I ate and drank at Sheraton with a few buddies. During the dinner, my buddies began to nag me about the family, he said: After getting married, I found a secret, listening to my wife's nagging for a long time.

After work, I ate and drank at Sheraton with a few buddies. During the dinner, my buddies began to nag me about the family, he said: After getting married, I found a secret, listening to my wife's nagging for a long time will cause tinnitus! I asked him in disbelief: Whose perverse truth are you listening to? Dude: I personally experienced, I listened to my wife nagging, and I had tinnitus! Me: What did the doctor say? Dude: The doctor said that the next time the wife nags again, don't return the mouth, and if you are beaten again, it is not as simple as tinnitus, and it may even be deaf!

2, I am a very peach blossom physique. My appearance is good, and I am very good at talking to many girls who love me. On this day, I was very irritable and asked the master: Master, why can I attract girls everywhere I go. There are also a lot of girls who have boyfriends and still chase me, what should I do? The master listened, looked at me and fell to his knees. I said, "Master, you mean to make me get down on my knees and think about it." The master said with tears: Please take me as an apprentice!

3, I have a special liking for the beauty front desk, but because her appearance is too outstanding, I am a little inferior and have not dared to talk to her. Later, under my careful observation, I found that she liked to change her profile picture. In order to get her attention, he replaced me with her couple avatar with her head picture. Finally succeeded in getting her attention, she took the initiative to add me as a friend, chatted with me, and borrowed 5,000 yuan from me. Now, she quit her job and left, and she blocked me.

4, the husband came home drunk in the middle of the night, taking advantage of the fact that his wife was asleep, he kicked her under the bed with all his strength, and scolded very angrily: "Go to you, Lao Tzu is a person with a wife, don't seduce me." Then he turned his head back and pretended to sleep. The next morning, the wife endured the pain and not only did not blame him for last night's drunkenness, but also brought steaming milk, which was full of touching tears...

5. Today, the brother-in-law's Alipay received 600,000 yuan from strangers for no reason, and planned to go to the Internet café to play after work. The brother-in-law charged 80,000 yuan to The Card at one time, which attracted the attention of a sister- The brother-in-law found that the sister had been staring at herself, and wrote a WeChat message to her on the tissue: Add this WeChat. The girl said happily: This is the first time someone has taken the initiative to give me WeChat. The brother-in-law waved his hand and said: This is not my WeChat, it is the plastic surgery hospital opened by my brothers.

6, the courier brother to send the courier, after signing the delay in leaving, the two of us just look at each other, on the surface I am not shocked by the heart has long been surging "rub he will not be attracted by my unique temperament in the morning, right? Is he going to confess to me? Are you trying to insult me? What to do 110 to work? Just when I was thinking about it and began to wonder if I had become an Aquarius, the little brother opened his mouth......... That one...... pen... be...... It's mine......

7, Franklin effect: In the student era, looking for girls to borrow pencils to borrow notes, asking her to help you with homework than lending her things and helping her with homework, girls are more likely to be attracted to the boy who asks her to borrow pencils. This is also useful when chasing girls, such as jokingly asking girls to ask you for a drink. It's a matter of killing three birds with one stone: you get the benefits; she will subconsciously like you more; in the future she will accept your "help" more unburdened.

8, today a friend asked me how to lose nearly 10 pounds in less than a month, I answered him sincerely: while working out, I replaced the oily and spicy meal at noon with a light stir-fry; the overeating at night was changed to an apple; in addition to running instead of commuting on rainy days; weekends are no longer Internet cafes, food, KTV, playing basketball for a day to sweat; even the favorite drinks quit drinking warm water. He asked me with adoration on my face what sustained me like this... I still don't hesitate to teach: poor!

9, old Li has not married in his life, and his life is very poor. After getting up one morning, Old Li had no rice and had to cook some lotus leaves to fill his hunger. At noon, Old Li went to the wedding outside the courtyard. Because he drank too much on an empty stomach, Old Li directly threw up and spit out some lotus leaves. Old Li said with an embarrassed face: Yo, I ate a few lotus seeds in the morning, so quickly grew into lotus leaves?

10, every week I will ask colleagues to go to the suburbs to play football, yesterday was in a hurry to go out, the daughter-in-law came over: "Husband, recently you are a little on fire, first drink some chrysanthemum tea..." There is a wife so husband what to ask, I take a drink and exhaust, I am wondering if the tea taste is a little strange. The daughter-in-law turned and went out: "Haha, there is beer mixed in, drinking alcohol can not drive, can not play football." To take care of the children, I made an appointment to play mahjong..."I...

1 long-distance bus, overheard a sister anxiously said: My son wants to pee, who has an empty bottle, borrow me to use it! When I saw no one squeaking, I put most of the half bottle of drink in my hand to my mouth, lifted my head and drank it all, and then handed the bottle to her. After more than twenty minutes, I asked the driver with a look of pain: Master, are you almost at the service area?

12, on the long-distance bus, overheard a woman anxiously saying: My son wants to pee, who has an empty bottle, borrow me to use it! When I saw no one squeaking, I put most of the half bottle of drink in my hand to my mouth, lifted my head and drank it all, and then handed the bottle to her, and after more than twenty minutes, I asked the driver with a look of pain: Master, are you almost in the service area? I can't hold back!

13, just ate, the roadside shop, sitting opposite a couple, the girl got up and went out after eating. The boy pulled over the plate and ate the leftovers without a word, feeling instantly full of love. After a while the girl came back with a bottle of drink, looked at the clean plate and said to the boy, your uncle, I haven't finished eating, and robbed me of food... Instantly choked on internal injuries.

14, with a girlfriend long-distance relationship, can only voice chat every night. Once we talked late, my girlfriend fell asleep unconsciously, and I thought that voice didn't cost money anyway, so I went to sleep. In the middle of the night, I vaguely heard my girlfriend calling my name, and I asked confusedly: What's wrong? She said: I sleep lightly, you snore too loud, long pain is not as good as short pain, break up! At that time, I was confused, like a dream, it was really exciting.