1, a local tycoon said to the female assistant: "If you can make the people in the office quarrel within three minutes, I will invite you to eat Haidilao after work!" The female assistant said, "OK, no problem, I'll be three seconds."

1, a local tycoon said to the female assistant: "If you can make the people in the office quarrel within three minutes, I will invite you to eat Haidilao after work!" The female assistant said, "OK, no problem, I can do it in three seconds!" After saying this, the female assistant rolled up her sleeves and shouted to the crowd: "PHP is the best language in the world!" "After a second of silence, the whole office began a fierce quarrel, and it was going to fight! The local tycoon said helplessly, "Okay! Let's go, let's go to dinner! The female assistant refused, "You go first!" I had to make it clear to them that PHP was the best language in the world. ”

2, usually work company canteen meals are always not enough to eat, this day after work I will go to eat buffet. In order not to let fifty dollars be spent in vain, I ignored the strange eyes of the people around me and swept the whole field, so that I ate too much. I had to get on the bus with my hands on my waist and my stomach, and found that it was overcrowded, and there was not a single empty seat. Casually found a clearing to stand, and at the same time the voice of the driver master also sounded: Who gave this pregnant woman a seat?

3, just out of the supermarket, I saw an old man fainted. I didn't even think about it at the time, and immediately drove the old man to the hospital. Because I didn't have much money on me, I had to call my girlfriend and ask her to send money. As soon as the girlfriend entered the ward, she scolded: "Are you brain into the water, what is the business?" When she saw the old man at the sick window, she was shocked: "Dad! The old man looked at my girlfriend and said to me: "Young man, you are a good person, listen to my advice, break up with my daughter." ”

4. In the library, I knocked over Youlemei and sprinkled it on the leg of a black silk girl next to me, and the girl couldn't help but say angrily: No eyes! You lick the old lady clean! As soon as I was about to apologize, I looked at the black silk sister in a daze, and saw that she did not follow the way she did not forgive, so I pulled my face and my heart crossed, and I lowered my head and held the thighs of the black silk sister and licked it, and then looked at her with contempt. Standing up and straightening his hair and clothes, he turned around and calmly walked out of the library in the midst of everyone's attention. After a while, I faintly heard a warm applause coming from behind me, and then....

5, the girl's meal is amazing, the brother once went to the boyfriend's house, he thought he was very reserved to eat a pot of lamb stick bones, two bowls of rice, the boyfriend asked his mother: "Mom, this wife is too able to eat or not?" His mother smiled and said, "Yes! Can you still eat poor..." The boyfriend nodded firmly: "Yes!" The girl visibly felt his mother's hand and gave the girl a complicated look.

6, I am a student of polytechnic university, there is a female bully in our class, no matter what it is, I will look at it again! I found that whenever she did a difficult math problem, she habitually pulled the hair on her forehead up to reveal her big forehead! I was curious and asked her why. She said: Because CP U needs good heat dissipation when it is running at high speed, otherwise it will cause crashes!

7. I still remember when I was in elementary school, there was a male classmate in our class, who usually loved to play with our girls, jumping leather bands, throwing sandbags everywhere. Usually, I don't say anything, and there is a colloquialism: "My mother said it!" Often I beat him once I heard him, until one time he cried and said to me: "My mother said, you beat me, when you grow up, you will go to your house to propose to you, and then beat you every day after that!"?

8. After work, I ate and drank at Sheraton with a few buddies. During the dinner, my buddies began to nag me about the family, he said: After getting married, I found a secret, listening to my wife's nagging for a long time will cause tinnitus! I asked him in disbelief: Whose perverse truth are you listening to? Dude: I personally experienced, I listened to my wife nagging, and I had tinnitus! Me: What did the doctor say? Dude: The doctor said that the next time the wife nags again, don't return the mouth, and if you are beaten again, it is not as simple as tinnitus, and it may even be deaf!

9, blind date to eat a meal, the girl has thrown up three times... The boy said, "Are you unwell?" Or is the dish unappetizing??? The girl said calmly, "I'll confirm with you again, the Bentley at the door is not yours?" Boy: "Yes! Girl: "Okay, then let's keep eating!?"

10. Once a team leader found an employee and talked to him about the salary increase, the employee was very excited. Team Leader: You are doing a good job, and your salary is ready to increase your salary by three hundred, and you can know this matter yourself. The staff buddies were moved, today's company gathering, the group leader drank too much. The group leader said helplessly to the employees: I'm sorry, in fact, others have risen by seven hundred, afraid that you can't open it, so I didn't tell you the truth!

11. As a stall owner who sets up a stall at the entrance of the company, when I hear that the employees of the company are complaining that they have been in arrears for many months, I feel that these employees are not worth it. So I angrily went to the general manager's office and said angrily, "Why are you in arrears with your employees' wages?" The manager asked incomprehensibly: "What does my non-salary have to do with you?" I said, "Of course it doesn't matter, if you don't pay me, they won't have the money to come to me to buy things, so where do I go to earn money?" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #