1, I was sleeping in the bedroom, suddenly the sister-in-law slipped into my bed, she held me with both hands from behind and said: Brother-in-law, I like you so much, let me be your "temporary wife", start talking

1, I was sleeping in the bedroom, suddenly the sister-in-law slipped into my bed, she held me with both hands from behind and said: Brother-in-law, I like you so much, let me be your "temporary wife", said and began to move my hands and feet. I said very angrily: What I like is your sister, and it is impossible to have anything to do with you.

When my sister-in-law saw that I didn't agree, she wanted to come hard and pounced on me again. I immediately slapped her in the ear and directly beat her to tears.

The sister-in-law cried and said: I hate you, and I will never see you again.

After saying that, she ran out of my bedroom, and I looked at my sister-in-law's back in a daze, did I do something wrong?

2, there is a hot pot self-service shop in front of the company, I go to eat once to pull a stomach, but the mouth is hungry, just can't help it. Today I went to eat again, and when I was eating, the waiter suddenly came to me and asked: Sir, are you eating our hot pot, is it diarrhea? The waiter's words surprised me: Did his conscience find out and expose the shady scene of the hot pot restaurant? I quickly replied: Yes, eat once and pull the stomach once. The waiter said: Sir, if the thing is not cooked, you are in a hurry to eat, can you not have diarrhea?

3, take the boyfriend of the north drift home to eat, the father did not say much, but to investigate my object.

Once, I overheard my father talking, and my father said: Our housekeeper has investigated, the family is in a good situation, the door is good, and the innocent and honest family is clean.

The mother said: There is nothing wrong with the body, right?

My dad: Yes, I got 100 million cash for him to help carry, deliberately did not work hard, he lifted it alone.

The mother thought about it and asked: Is there no disease in the brain?

Dad said: Very bright, talking without leaking.

Daddy thought about it so thoroughly, I was moved to tears.

At this time, the mother said again: This boy is not ugly, not stupid, good health, why would he look at our girl...

4, I am a sophomore year this year, a polytechnic man in the Mechanical Department, a single dog! Last night after class, I went to the canteen to buy food, and as I walked, I heard a girl in front of me calling. The girl said: Don't break up, what's so great! Then the girl giggled and talked for half a day, and finally said that another day we would have a breakup dinner! I thought to myself that this woman is really free and domineering! Then I wanted to see what she looked like. I walked quickly to her front, turned my head, and saw that her face was full of tears!

5, the mother-in-law and the old man quarreled, suddenly, the old man picked up the mother-in-law and said: If you don't apologize, I won't let you down! The mother-in-law said: Then you will always hold it. After three minutes, the old man was exhausted and said to himself: Even if you apologize this time, I will forgive you. Then he kept panting and put the mother-in-law down.

6, in the morning, my wife asked me to transfer 6,000 yuan to her, and I accidentally transferred it to my female boss. Before I could speak, she called me to the office, and when she entered the door, she smiled and said, "You, just pay me back with that wage.... I received the heart, but you take the money back. He threw me a card and said, "Take it yourself!" I was stunned: "Can't transfer money?" The landlady whispered, "It's easy to leave clues!" "I had to go down to withdraw the money, inserted the card and naturally entered my birthday, no problem, right, showed that the balance is still 1.8 million, I only took back the 6000 that belonged to me, went back to the office and returned the card to the landlady." The landlady was slightly shocked: "Are you sure you don't want to... I waved my hand and said, "Nothing works." "The landlady didn't speak and threw a card again, followed by 2, 3.... She smiled: "Loyalty is the price of betrayal is not enough, take it to check these bank cards!" "I turned around and walked, crying as I walked, knowing that my noble character had cost me millions. 2. My daughter-in-law, every time I pay a public grain icon, subsidize me 100 ocean allowance fee! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150.

To be honest, the extra 50 is quite attractive!!!

7, a college student, after graduation spent 500,000 yuan, made 1 million counterfeit money. Then happily went to KFC for dinner and ate a big meal. At checkout, the front desk said: Sir, a total of 500 yuan. Then the college student pulled out a banknote worth ten thousand. The cashier looked at it and said: "We are not the people of the world, you better go down and try it!"

8, because of the recent increase in pork prices, our family has not eaten meat for a long time. After returning home from work in the afternoon, I just opened the door and entered the house to smell the aroma of stewed braised pork all over the room, and I ran to the kitchen to wrap my daughter-in-law and said, "Wow, my daughter-in-law is so good, I made braised pork." Then the daughter-in-law said with a blank face: "No, maybe the balcony window is not closed, the wind is strong, and the neighbor's house is floating!" ”

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