A friend asked me to borrow 10,000 yuan, and I transferred it to him on WeChat. At the end of the year, I received his 9999, thinking that one less piece would be one less piece, don't worry! Unexpectedly, his call came: Margot, collect

A friend asked me to borrow 10,000 yuan, and I transferred it to him on WeChat. At the end of the year, I received his 9999, thinking that one less piece would be one less piece, don't worry! Unexpectedly, his call came: Margot, received it! Originally, according to the bank interest, I had to pay you more than eight yuan, but I deducted ten yuan for WeChat withdrawal, so it was less than 9999. Thinking about the long and long New Year' day, the number is auspicious, I just posted a few more hairs... Listening to the tone of his speech, if I don't send a red envelope to thank you, I am not interesting enough...

2. My girlfriend was born in a family of Chinese medicine and has some experience in some small diseases with colds and fevers. Today I had a fever, and after my girlfriend gave me a pulse, I brushed a pen and paper and brushed it non-stop. Three minutes later, a Chinese medicine prescription appeared in front of me. When she finished frying the Chinese medicine she bought, she said softly: Da Lang, don't sleep, it's time to get up and drink the medicine! At that time, my heart suddenly tightened, can you still drink this medicine?

3. Due to the recent pressure, after school, I asked everyone to go to the basketball court to play together, and my classmates accidentally fell down and dislocated their arms. The second goods buddy said: Don't move, I have learned how to pick up! Just listen to the clicks, clicks, clicks, and the crowd is amazed! Regardless of the screams of the parties, praise the capable people. The result became a fracture, which could have cost one or two hundred to get it done, and this goods lost thousands of people!

4. My girlfriend, who had been in love for five years, hated me for not having any money and eventually broke up with me. The other day I met a girl on the road, very beautiful, and there are many common topics. After leaving phone calls, she called me persistently every day. I knew what she meant, but my own conditions were limited, and I often rejected her. Because I really don't have the extra money to buy the insurance she sells...

5. Da Long's brother Da Tao is getting married, and Da Long naturally becomes Da Tao's best man. Da Tao is a groom, on the day of marriage to rob the kiss, other people's grooms are stuffing red envelopes, answering questions, banging on the door. And Da Tao was strong, took a classmate with the worst grades in the class that year, this classmate is now a locksmith, walked to the door lightly, without a little noise, suddenly opened the door! Inside, a group of girls are still chattering about countermeasures! Da Long still can't forget the bride's face from shock to confusion to anger!

6. After the husband retires, he has a pension of 28,000 yuan every month. Bored at home, he carefully cultivated a lot of roses. When the old man returned home, he found that his roses had been cut. The old man was about to get angry, and the brother-in-law came out of the house and said that he had given all the roses to the female classmates. The old man listened to the anger and suddenly disappeared, and said with relief: "It seems that this boy is a heavy color pit daddy's goods, which I am relieved, there is reincarnation in the world!" The brother-in-law was stunned in the courtyard for a long time, and his words were outside, as if he had heard his cruel old age!

7. When I didn't get into college, my dad spent 180,000 yuan to send me to a college. The younger brother who started school had to undergo military training for a month, and it was particularly uncomfortable to stand in a military posture under the sun. That time, when standing in the military position, a girl reported to the instructor, "Instructor I want to throw up!" The instructor said softly, "Oh! You go to the big tree next to you to take a break. It wasn't long before a boy also reported, "Instructor! I want to throw up! The instructor yelled at him, "You spit it out for me!" ”

8. When I was a new uncle, I was left at home to take care of my little nephew, and after my elder sister taught me some steps, the family went shopping, full of helplessness. Playing a game, the little nephew cried non-stop and did not pee, thinking that he might be hungry, he flushed milk powder, did not expect the nephew to drink a mouthful of fists clenched, convulsions straight to the legs ... My brain brother reacted... This milk powder is toxic! Then curiosity prompted me to take a bite,... Burn me to death!

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #