The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, her parents were happy to see me, entertained me, and had a few drinks with my father-in-law. When I woke up the next day, my mother-in-law sent me out of the yard, be careful

The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, her parents were happy to see me, entertained me, and had a few drinks with my father-in-law. When I woke up the next day, my mother-in-law sent me out of the courtyard and said carefully, "You see, you and Xiaohong's father have already worshipped the handle, and you must come when Xiaohong gets married!" ''Me

2, when I was at home before, my father liked my spring cakes, every year there will be a spring cake feast, I baked spring cake dad stir-fry, our family's spring cake banquet, must have spinach, eggs, sauce meat (elbow), because I don't like bean sprouts, so there are no bean sprouts. Last night under my guidance, the eldest brother for the first time very successfully baked spring cakes, spinach powder, meat fried garlic yellow, spread eggs, garlic paste white meat, this year less sauce elbow, next year supplement ...

3. When I was young, my mother always took care of me at home. Remember once. My mother went back to my grandmother's house, so my father took care of me at home. Dad was bored at home and held me to watch people play cards, and I kept crying because I didn't want to stay there. Dad conveniently put me in the Pleasant Goat cart, and then changed a handful of coins, and threw one without shaking, and one without shaking. In the end, I really felt that I was shaking to the point of vomiting in a rocking car.

4. Today, I went to school to learn to drive, was kicked hard by the coach, and went to the hospital. Has called the police, how can there be such a coach? The hospital checked and said it was okay and I wasn't blackmailing anyone, but he had to apologize to me. The reason is that today's road test, the coach told me to see how much oil there is, I unscrewed the fuel tank cover for half a day and did not see clearly, the light is too dark. I reached for the lighter and approached the mouth of the fuel tank, and just as I was about to press the lighter, the coach kicked me away, and Nyima is still in the hospital for infusions. I decided to refund it tomorrow, and the coach was so grumpy. I'm going to change driving schools!

5. The romance of the dawn and rainy night has long become the past. And his remnants, slowly scattered into floating dust in the world. I wished you would always be with me, with the thought of you forever in this life. Just because you said, "I need you because I love your vows." "And now, the vows of the past have long been shattered into thousands of pieces." Don't want to do anything to take a souvenir, this is your deception after all.

6, "Boss, WeChat can not be used!" The clerk said worriedly. The boss wondered: "What is this, doesn't the Internet say that it is a technical problem?" The clerk nodded and said the purpose of the trip: "Because then I have to ask you for a 1-hour leave to explain to my girlfriend, can I?" The owner forgivingly agreed. Who knows, the staff did not take a few steps and immediately came back to take an extra hour off. The owner had to ask why. The clerk stammered, "An hour is for comforting my girlfriend." "What about the remaining 1 hour?" The clerk continued, "That's for my wife." ”

7, the high school math teacher told us: when the exam multiple choice questions do not know what to choose, choose C! The students at the bottom are waiting for him to explain this matter with a superb mathematical theory. Then the old man of mathematics said, "Because! The letter C is the third, 3 times two equals six, six six big smooth. Multiplying three is equal to nine, the sky is long, such a good option is placed here, who to choose without choosing it?"

8, dad told me the three principles of chasing women: "First, make her happy, second, praise her smile, third, ask her out at night." I asked, "Why the night?" My dad told me, "Because at night she can't see how ugly you are." ”

9. Lao Wang was seriously ill and was about to die, and before he died, he took his wife's hand and said, "Wife... After I die, you must remarry Lao Zhang. Lao Wang's wife asked why, and Lao Wang said, "Because he is the matchmaker, I want him to also understand the power of the tigress..."

10, he is a sick child, no one will play with him. It wasn't until the first snowfall that he piled up a little snowman and he asked, "Can I hug you?" The little snowman asked, "Why?" He said, "Because I like you." The little snowman threw himself into his arms in silence. The next second, he heard the little snowman whispering in his ear, "I travel through the four seasons just to melt in your arms, thank you for liking me." The next day. The little boy died of a severe cold.

1 I was ugly and was sneered at by my classmates, so I always had low self-esteem. At night, I couldn't help but ask my mother: "Mom, why are you so beautiful and I am so ugly?" Mom smiled slightly: "Because the air is too poor, there is too much dust." "You lie, I've never heard that poor air can affect a child's appearance." "Yes child, the day I met your father, I couldn't see what he looked like."

12, Xiao Li wanted to learn martial arts, heard that there was a first knife in the world, so he went to worship the master. Master talks endlessly, rambling, nagging... Xiao Li: "Why are you nagging so much?" Master: "Because Master is the first nagging (knife) in the world, the first nagging." "Xiao Li: ...

13. Student: "Who is happier, a rich man with millions of dollars and a poor man with seven children?" Teacher: "Poor man with seven children." Student: "Why?" Teacher: "Because he doesn't want to have more." ”

14. One day Xiaohua asked his father a question: "Why do people like to do sports in bed?" The mother in the kitchen was amused to hear Xiaohua's questions! Decided to eavesdrop on a father-son conversation! Dad said, "Because it makes people very happy!" Xiao Hua: "Then I want to be happy too!" Dad: "Wait until you grow up!" Xiao Hua: "Then who do I do sports with when I grow up?" Dad: "You can only talk to your wife after marriage!" XiaoHua: "Then Dad, why can you exercise with the aunt next door?" Mom rushed out of the kitchen... Five minutes later... The ambulance is coming...