Last night, I took my new girlfriend to open the room, and when I checked out, she stopped me and took out the hotel VIP card from the bag and paid the bill! My heart was cold, and I didn't expect her to be a regular guest at the couple's hotel. go out

Last night, I took my new girlfriend to open the room, and when I checked out, she stopped me and took out the hotel VIP card from the bag and paid the bill! My heart was cold, and I didn't expect her to be a regular guest at the couple's hotel. After going out, I have been sullen and unhappy, and finally I still can't help asking her: Just after checking out, why don't you want an invoice?

 2. A new guy from the construction site, the first day of work without wearing a hard hat was seen by the boss inspection, he criticized him for not wearing a hard hat, the guy said that he would do iron head work, the hard hat was not as hard as his head, he picked up a brick casually, handed it to the boss and said: "I don't believe you shoot, if I shake it I am your grandson." The boss looked at his vows, raised the brick and slapped it hard, and the boy fell down with a "ah" sound, holding the boss's leg and shouting, "Your grandson really shoots, I bragged about it, see I blackmailed you today." Oops..."

3. Company team building, living in the wild at night, at night I took advantage of the fact that there was no one around and went to the female secretary's tent. After returning to the company, everyone surrounded me and asked me if I had confessed success? I said: You can see the result by looking at my face. Colleagues asked: Even if you don't agree, why did you beat you so badly? I said: I didn't know that she and her sister were twins, so I hugged the wrong person in the tent and confessed to be her sister. It happened that her brother-in-law came in and was beaten by her brother-in-law. A colleague wondered: Her brother-in-law beat you, why didn't her sister pull next to you? Me: If it weren't for her sister pulling me away, I would have run out earlier.

4. The brother-in-law accompanies his future mother-in-law to play mahjong in the chess and card room, and his future mother-in-law hesitates with a sheet of ninety thousand. Deliberately whispered, "Can these ninety thousand fight in the end?" The brother-in-law took the opportunity to answer: "What can't this be, just fight!" His future mother-in-law heard the future son-in-law say this, and she beat ninety thousand out. The brother-in-law took out three things with a sly smile: "Bar! After the lever, he laughed with a special sense of accomplishment, now in his thirties, still a single dog!

5. My mother asked me to marry her distant nephew, and I was confused by my mother and smashed the TV in one breath. My mother simply threw me into the kennel at the gate, where I squatted and cried. Grandma came over to comfort me: "Temperament has to be changed, so don't understand things, don't cry, Grandma ordered you takeaway, said what do you want to eat?" Me: "That... Orleans grilled chicken wings, cheese milk sticks, milk tea, grilled gluten, teppanyaki squid icon! Grandma interrupted me: "Forget it, I'll go out and coax my daughter-in-law to go..."

6..Travel with your husband to stay in a hotel, it is too dark, a bottle of mineral water actually costs 50 yuan! Husband: "Let's drink this 50 yuan bottle of mineral water and drink hard!" Me: "Are you crazy?" Supermarket outside is only a dollar a bottle! Before I could finish speaking, my husband snapped open four bottles and said proudly: "I'll go out for a while, you open up and drink, so temperamental!" "In less than ten minutes, my husband came back with a bag of mineral water. While making up for the drink, he said excitedly: "50 mineral water is delicious, right?" Let's drink it for 50 and leave a piece of it! "The hotel manager knew and called out to the insider!

7. According to reports: The 65-year-old zhou uncle of a university in Guangdong was repeatedly harassed by the school flowers, and was forced to resign: The current young people really can't stand it, it is said that the school flowers are always going to the guard room to talk about some privacy issues, and occasionally pretend to faint and insist that Uncle Zhou artificial respiration Uncle Zhou helplessly resigned, the principal repeatedly retained himself to stay and continue to work In order to avoid similar incidents, the school asked Uncle Zhou not to drive Bentley to work in the future, and Uncle Zhou also said that he wanted to change to Mercedes-Benz.

8. After work, I ate and drank at Sheraton with a few buddies. During the dinner, my buddies began to nag me about the family, he said: After getting married, I found a secret, listening to my wife's nagging for a long time will cause tinnitus! I asked him in disbelief: Who are you listening to? Dude: I personally experienced, I listened to my wife nagging, and I had tinnitus! Me: What did the doctor say? Dude: The doctor said that the next time the wife nags again, don't return the mouth, and if you are beaten again, it is not as simple as tinnitus, and it may even be deaf!

9. When I was a child, I was once beaten by my father and then I lay on the bed, just after changing my teeth and shaking my hands, I was bleeding, and I spit two mouthfuls of blood into the ground, my father came in and saw that I was stunned, I remembered the plot of the martial arts movie, and groaned to: I guess it is not OK, I really regret coming to this world... Dad was suddenly frightened, carried me all the way to the hospital, cried all the way, and when I came back, I was beaten up and really regretted coming to this world.

10. My husband and I are looking forward to the arrival of the baby, and now my husband takes care of me carefully, I am afraid that I will accidentally get angry, and now I am 7 months pregnant, reading books that say that the baby likes to listen to the sound of the father's speech, and the father should chat with the baby more. As soon as he told his husband, he immediately made up his mind to tell a story to the baby every day. The first night when I was going to bed, I spoke of "Ugly Duckling" in a decent way, and the next day I spoke of "Snow White". On the third day, I lay on the bed waiting for my husband to continue to tell the child, and my husband scratched his head for half a day and said softly to my stomach: Child, you review the stories told two days ago!

11. I think that communication between two people is very important, and besides, there is nothing that is not negotiable. For example, today's brother and sister-in-law! The sister-in-law scolded her brother and said, "Look at what kind of broken things you are doing!" The brother said calmly, "Daughter-in-law, you shouldn't be like this, you should think more about my good side." Then the sister-in-law shouted, "Well, I accept your opinion, and you see all these good things you have done!" "My brother is speechless too...

12. After eating, dad took a puff of his cigarette and said slowly: "My daughter sent a circle of friends today to say that she is in love." Mom was a little surprised: "Ah! How can this be? Dad said, "When you come back in the evening, you have to talk to her." "Talk! Must talk! Mom said angrily, "Why block me not to block you!" ”