1, the company has a plump and gorgeous young woman, once the company sent me and her on a business trip alone, after checking into the hotel it is more than ten o'clock at night, I lie in bed, for a while and a half can not sleep, Yu

1, the company has a plump and gorgeous young woman, once the company sent me and her on a business trip alone, after staying in the hotel it is more than ten o'clock in the evening, I lay on the bed, for a moment and a half can not sleep, so I played a game. Halfway through the game, a female colleague suddenly sent a message saying that there seemed to be a rat in her room and asked me to come and have a look. When I was playing the game, I had time to pay attention to her, so I quickly sent her a message saying, if there is a mouse, you can shoot it with your slippers. Unexpectedly, she actually scolded me with an elm knot, it was really inexplicable, my head was very bright, you see how slippery my game is!

2. My brother-in-law came to my house crying and complained, telling my mother that my sister had beaten him. This gave my mother angry, immediately called my sister to go home, and when my sister entered the house, my mother shouted: How can you beat him, what to beat? Sister: I was playing with him, so I took a pear and threw it at him. At this time, the whole family looked at the brother-in-law, and the brother-in-law was even more aggrieved, saying: Mom, it is true that I hit with pears, but she is taking frozen pears!

3, our company has an old supervisor, this year are 40 years old and can not get married, she found me: "Pretend to be my boyfriend, 5,000 yuan once!" Thinking that there was food to eat and money to take, she agreed, and Rolls-Royce, who was sitting in the female supervisor, accompanied her home to meet her parents. My father, who had just sat down in charge, said to me, "Boy, I like you very much, and my daughter will hand it over to you!" I stood up and drank the liquor in front of me. After a moment of silence, he looked at the old man coldly and said, "Uncle, you want to blackmail people, don't you?" ”

4. The husband is 102 years old this year and has to drink a few drinks every day. Recently he was unwell and went to the hospital. It took 20,000 to do a full body examination, and there was nothing wrong with it. The doctor said: I have not yet found the cause of your illness, I guess it is caused by too much alcohol. The old man replied: Then wait for two days when you are awake and I will come to see it again...

5. My wife has been pregnant for several months, and the family has been very happy. Today my wife suddenly got upset and kept going to the toilet. The man said with concern: You have been in the toilet for so long, where is it uncomfortable? Mrs. : It doesn't matter, it's just a bit diarrhea. The man suddenly shouted: Baby, grasp the rope in your mother's belly, don't let your mother pull you out. "

6, the sister-in-law only from marriage at home like a Lafayette-like existence, what work is not to stay. On this day, I went to his house to play, and the guest sister-in-law came to the house to cook in the kitchen in order to show a hand. I went to the kitchen and saw that there was still the leftover meal from the previous night in the pot. The brother-in-law saw it and whispered: Look how considerate I am, every time I cook, don't forget to leave a little in the pot for you! The sister-in-law was angry, grabbed her brother-in-law's ear and said: Is this the reason why you don't shabu?

7. I remember a few years ago my dad and my uncle, once there was too much drinking, and then my dad and my uncle had a fight. My dad and my uncle were interviewed by grandma when they woke up drunk. Neither of them stood at the door and went first, because both of them knew my grandmother's habits, and the penalty for going first was the kneeling rolling pin, and the kneeling chopping board that went in later knew that the kneeling cutting board was more comfortable than the kneeling rolling pin...

8. A woman is a white lotus flower, playing with her male friends in front of Meng Po. At this time, the smoke at the bottom of the pot drifted away, and Meng Po sneezed. The woman said to her boyfriend, "Honey, I heard that influenza A has been very serious recently, so I'm afraid of Oh." Then Meng Po said: "What are you afraid of, you are not afraid of the flow of people, are you still afraid of the flow of people?" Then the man showed an angry expression...

9, when I graduated from college, I plucked up the courage to say to the girl I had a crush on: After graduation, you should take good care of yourself and eat less junk food. I paused and said: You still have the habit of staying up late, it is best to change it... She interrupted me and said, "I know, your parents told me!" I was moved to cry, and the girl continued: They said that you must not let me promise you, otherwise my conscience will be uneasy!

10. Speaking in good conscience, the food cooked by the boyfriend's mother is really not delicious. But his mother is a strong person, likes to listen to other people's praise, every time the boyfriend said that his mother's cooking is really delicious, I also followed the two sentences. This day was eating, the boyfriend suddenly said: "Do you know what my mother relied on to tie my father to the house?" Absent-mindedly, I opened my mouth and said, "With a dog chain?" ”

11. The brother-in-law's college entrance examination results came out, 326 points. The brother-in-law said: "Dad, I scored 326 points, how are you going to reward me?" The old man smiled and said, "Great son, I reward you with a big fragrant kiss." After saying a fierce kiss on the brother-in-law's face, the brother-in-law was very unhappy, and complained: "Lie to me again, there is no practical, what is the use of the kiss, stink to death." The old man smiled triumphantly, "Didn't you smell it?" It's an authentic kiss, with a smell of smoke and wine, and a strong smell of garlic! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #