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Love can be pure, and it only takes two people to love each other and feel the feeling of happiness. But marriage is not the same, marriage is realistic, in addition to requiring two people to love each other, but also need to have a certain material foundation, need to be compatible with each other, and have a firm belief, can work together to resist the ups and downs of life.
Because of this, marriage cannot be sloppy and impulsive, and flash marriage seems to be very romantic, but it is actually full of many risks. If you want to marry a person, it is best to spend a period of time together, make sure that it is really appropriate, and then make a decision, so that you can make a little more security in your future life.
From a psychological point of view, men and women have different thinking patterns and have very different needs in their feelings. For men, the way they think about the problem and the foothold is rational and realistic, compared to the woman's sensibility and naivety, they decide to marry a woman, not only to see whether they love or not, but also whether the woman is worth it or not.
The cost-effectiveness referred to here is actually the value and hard conditions of women.
That is to say, whether a man will really marry you, the key is not only whether there is love between you, but also whether you have some hard conditions, whether you can get his expectations, and whether you can produce some value he needs.
In general, there are three such hard conditions, and even if they meet one point, they can make him respect you and look up to you.
One: Whether your mother's family is strong and can you provide him with some help?
Marriage is not a matter of two people, but of two families. When you decide to marry someone, you will not only form a small family of your own, but also enter his original family and passively become a family, and your parents will also become relatives with his parents.
In this case, many things between you are implicated, and it is not too much to say that one wins and one loses.
In life, it is often said: "Find a capable father-in-law, you can struggle for decades less." ”
This is not an exaggeration, otherwise how could so many people want to marry the only daughter of a rich family? Because it means that your life will become very different in the future, which is undoubtedly a shortcut to change your life.
Two: Whether you have a certain ability to meet his requirements for marriage and family
Everyone's understanding and needs for marriage are different, and each family has its own way of getting along.
Some men have machismo, they think that supporting the family is a man's business, and the wife they want to marry only needs to take good care of the family, such as Lin Qingkun in the TV series "Perfect Partner", his requirement for the other half is to take care of the family, so that he has no worries.
This kind of man's requirement for his wife is to be virtuous enough and industrious enough.
There are also men who think that raising a family and taking care of the family is a common thing for both husband and wife, so they will work together after marriage, do housework together, and take care of the family together. At this time, his requirements for the other half may be that he has a certain ability, and is independent in everything, and can fight with himself.
Different men have different requirements for marriage and family, and whether he will marry you is also in whether you can meet his requirements.
Three: Whether your emotional intelligence is high, and whether you have the intelligence to handle interpersonal relationships
When two people are together, they are occasionally mysterious, occasionally lose their temper, let each other guess their minds, and treat love as a guessing game. Maybe it feels fresh at first, but after a long time, it will be overwhelmed.
All the actions that make him guess his mind will slowly turn into boredom and unreasonable teasing.
Men's thinking is more rational, but more often it shows a straight line thinking thinking: let the dishes wash only the dishes, let you see if the clothes in the washing machine are washed, and you will not dry them after reading them. And when they complain, they often feel inexplicable.
I can hear the yin and yang in your tone, but I still can't feel my head when doing things.
So speaking well and having clear instructions will make two people less quarrelsome and more understanding. Although he may be a little reluctant when you give the order, it has made him feel much happier than guessing.
Especially when one of the two people encounters a troublesome matter, the emotions that are originally extremely controlled, and then encounter unclear words or yin and yang blame at this time, it is easy to have contradictions between the two.
Life is the accumulation of many small things, so talking well can reduce most of the contradictions in life.
When you feel that the other party's practices are inappropriate, you can joke and communicate, but when you speak, take a deep breath to give yourself a buffer time, you will know each other better, and life will add a lot of beauty.
This requires women to have a high emotional intelligence, be able to handle a variety of complex interpersonal relationships, and be able to understand and tolerate each other when getting along with each other.
Love is beautiful and romantic, but marriage is realistic and cruel, many times a man will not marry you, the key is whether you can provide him with a certain emotional value, so it is far more important to be strong than to please men.
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