Marriage is realistic, it is not as romantic and heartwarming as love.
It is more like a practice, behind all the perfect marriage, there is a lot of hard work and effort.
I have heard the saying: "Marriage is a fire, and it needs to be constantly added firewood, only in this way can the fire continue." ”
Two together, both hope to spend a lifetime together, but always need to pass the test of time.
Those who have stood the test of time are thriving.
Those days were a mess, and these three points were indispensable.
01
Do not back down
The two people who have just entered the marriage, under the wrapping of freshness, will still be as sweet as when they were in love.
But once the passion fades, a chicken feather-like triviality ensues.
If the two do not back down to each other, the family war will continue.
Friend Lao Li, his wife was originally a middle-level manager of a listed company, in order to support her husband's career, she retired from the family and lived the life of a husband and a godson.
Old Li spent all day outside to accompany customers, busy with business, and returned home drunk to sleep upside down.
The wife had to run the housework and pick up the children, and she had to wait until her husband got off work, but there was no one to talk to.
Once in a school parent-child sports day, the husband was still absent, and the son cried very sadly.
One after another, one emotional problem after another made the wife intolerable, determined to abandon the family and return to the workplace.
When there is no wife at home, Old Li works every day while taking care of his son, busy and anxious, and finally lost his job, he realized his wife's hardships.
It was not until his wife was exhausted by working overtime all day long, and Lao Li finally found the opportunity to take care of his wife and repair the mistake of his previous absence from the family, which regained his former feelings.
In marriage, unilateral maintenance is ultimately unreliable, and if both people do not give in, solving the problems they face will eventually part ways.
As it is said in The Meaning of Marriage:
"There are only two votes in a marriage, if no one gives in, how to break the deadlock?"
Those marriages that are deadlocked are just too lazy to back down.
02
Don't understand
The long road to marriage, trivial and concrete.
And the trivial life day after day brings to both husband and wife a tiredness and disappointment from the heart.
Some couples just watch their feelings deplete until they tend to flatten.
And some couples can solve the problem in time and become tireless for a long time.
Therefore, husband and wife should push their hearts and minds, and avoid mutual suspicion, mutual pity, mutual complaints, and mutual attacks.
Ten years of repair to cross the same boat, a hundred years to repair to sleep together.
You know, how difficult it is for two people to fall in love, let alone two people who have already formed a family.
Liao Yimei once said in "Soft":
"Everyone is very lonely, in our lifetime, encounter love, encounter sex, is not rare, rare is to encounter understanding." 」
In this world, there are neither perfect feelings nor perfect lovers.
Husbands and wives must learn to compare hearts to hearts, know how to think in empathy, do not have to be too harsh on their partners, and know how to understand and appreciate each other in order to go further.
When a partner expresses a different point of view or opinion to you, you should learn to listen, whether you agree or not.
You can make suggestions tactfully, but don't impose your opinion on your partner.
For anyone, marriage cannot be done once and for all, and maintaining mutual understanding is one of the ways to promote the warming of feelings.
03
Do not operate
I often hear people complaining about their husbands and wives.
In fact, it is not that the other party has changed, but marriage is different from love, and you can be unscrupulous when you fall in love, but after marriage, you are faced with a family.
A good marriage requires two people to run it together.
Marriage is an invisible rope that binds two people firmly together.
Throughout the marriage of many people, most of them have various dissatisfaction with each other.
But the more dissatisfied, the more they refuse to communicate, are too lazy to operate, or say some angry words.
As a result, the two were disappointed more and more, the misunderstanding was more and more praised, and they lived a marriage that existed in name only.
At this time, the only way is to operate well.
As Yang Dai said:
"A good marriage requires mutual appreciation and attraction, support and encouragement, that is, a good marriage, which requires two people to operate together."
Married as a husband and wife, there is no doubt about love.
The person who makes you willing to bind you to him for the rest of your life must be the person you love the most.
Only when you love each other deeply can you have the strength to resist the ups and downs of the rest of your life together and go to the second half of your life together.
Marriage needs to understand each other and tolerate each other in order to be long-lasting.
Marriage requires mutual trust to be profound.
END
Author: Uncle Beimu, look at the cold and warm of the world, write about the sorrows and joys of the world, insist on using words to heal people's hearts, and every encounter with you, I will treat it as a long-term goodbye reunion.
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