Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
Relatives refer to people who have direct blood relations and indirect blood relations with themselves, no matter what grievances we have suffered outside, the first thing we want to return to is the safe haven forged by our relatives, as long as we are around them, we have unlimited confidence to meet all the storms.
Some people may think that relatives can only refer to those who are related to themselves by blood, such as parents, brothers and sisters, etc., after all, they will always stand behind us, in fact, many people have established deep feelings with others.
For example, a man's good brother, they usually have a lifelong friendship, no matter which person encounters difficulties, the other people will spare no effort to help them.
This kind of help is not reciprocated, and they hope from the bottom of their hearts that their best friend will live a happy life.
Another example is a woman's good girlfriend, girlfriends together always have endless words, discussions can not be finished, they share emotions with each other, if the other party is doing well, they will sincerely send blessings, if the other party is hurt, they will become the strongest fortress, wholeheartedly for the person around them to provide the most sincere help.
This person may also be a teacher, if the students feel the selfless dedication and intimate care of the teacher, everyone will still treat each other as if they were elderly relatives on the spot, even if the two sides are only teachers and students, but this deep friendship can make people remember for a lifetime.
So, are couples counted as relatives?
First of all, to explain the concept of husband and wife, husband and wife refers to the legal marriage relationship between men and women.
As long as the marriage of both men and women complies with laws and regulations and officially obtains a marriage license, then they are married, from this point of view, the two do not have special feelings, they just establish a legal and compliant legal relationship.
However, the reality is not a mechanical procedure, most of the men and women who enter into marriage have established an intimate relationship before marriage, in other words, it is not the legal effect that makes them relatives, but after becoming relatives, they are prompted to marry.
The relationship between husband and wife is not as strong as imagined, and some people will immediately abandon their other half as soon as they encounter difficult obstacles, as mentioned in the poem " Husband and wife are originally birds of the same forest, and when great difficulties are about to fly separately ", this sentence just reveals the fragility of marriage.
The most typical feature of this type of couple is that they do not put love first, but regard interests as the most important thing.
Once the interests of both parties cannot be combined or one of them harms the interests of the other, then the relationship between the two will fall apart, and in the eyes of outsiders, it is the breakdown of the marital relationship.
Such a couple is not considered a relative, and their union is only for the sake of interest.
Some people attach the most importance to the material conditions of money and status when choosing a mate, and at this time, the marriage of the two is not a combination of true love, after all, he values not the person himself, but the money symbol behind him.
If the advantages of money and status disappear one day, the marriage will break down.
There is also a kind of marriage that stems from the urging of parents, for example, two older young people have reached the marriageable age but have not been in love, at this time the parents' hearts will be extremely anxious, such children out of filial piety to their parents, or do not want to be discussed by the people around them, usually obey their opinions, find a suitable person to marry.
However, this kind of marriage is too sloppy, the two parties have no emotional basis, there is no in-depth understanding, in the future process of getting along, it is likely to make the contradiction continue to intensify, and eventually lead to the end of divorce.
What is the nature of marriage? Everyone has a different understanding, some people think that marriage can bring themselves what they want, such as money status or care and love, etc., and some people think that marriage is to give, as long as they can be with the people they love, they are willing to give everything.
People who can become husband and wife must have a very deep fate, if the two originally came together because of love, why didn't they get good results later?
This sad direction is inseparable from too many requests, and when we no longer pay attention to our own faults and mistakes, but blindly accuse each other of our shortcomings, then the relationship between the two sides will gradually tense.
After all, everyone feels that they have given enough and do not understand why the other party is still not satisfied. If emotions have always been a state of grievance and anger, getting along will be low and not easy and pleasant.
Blindly taking is not a relationship between relatives, real relatives should be mutually satisfied, mutual achievement, even if they can not pay 100%, but also do their best to stand in each other's perspective to consider the problem.
Whether the husband and wife are relatives or not depends on the relationship between the two, as long as you raise this question, you must have been dissatisfied with the other half in your heart, if you have no doubt about this matter, it means that the two of you have already surpassed the ordinary legal relationship and become real relatives.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.