Hello everyone, a friend of mine, 36 years old became someone else's stepmother, there was a lot of friction between the middle and the stepdaughter, but also gave birth to a lot of stories, along the way there are hardships and happiness, she wrote her own story down, many fans read it, asked her follow-up in the background, and then I will continue to write down her story, interested friends can pay attention to.
I, 36 years old, became someone else's stepmother
At 36 years old, becoming someone else's stepmother: telling the story of the inextricable intimacy between me and my children
The road to remarriage at 36: find a partner for yourself, not a father for your children
Remarrying my stepmother at 36, tell me how my stubborn stepdaughter and I got along in harmony
body:
*Stepmothers in those films*
Stepmothers over the years, where have you all been? "Snow White" is already a matter of the last century, so 100 years later, has the reputation of stepmothers been improved? In the major people's livelihood channels, does the stepmother still appear as a derogatory term?
The most popular reality version of the stepmother in recent years should be endorsed by Zhang Ziyi, all kinds of gossip news, airport secret shooting, or Weibo self-explosion, all create a perfect stepmother image. No matter how hysterical his mother was, I was light and breezy. Holding the stepdaughter's hand, there is talk and laughter; the family portrait sweet hugs; the parent-child reading before bedtime. Even if it is posed, there is still no trace of artificiality. The wife can open the family image of the inside and outside so well, and Father Wang is really worried.
One of the most popular domestic films in the summer of 2020 is "The Hidden Corner".
At the beginning, you think that the turning point of the whole drama is that the children have taken a video of Zhang Dongsheng pushing people, and then everything has changed; but in fact, what really changed Xiao Chaoyang's heart was the death of his sister. We pushed forward step by step, why did Pupu help Chaoyang out of anger, because Chaoyang was bullied by his sister and stepmother. If at the beginning, behind the door of the mall, the sister did not step on his foot, or accidentally stepped on it, the stepmother's reaction was not so indifferent, perhaps the little bud of hatred would not take root in Chaoyang's heart. So the one who really killed Zhu Jingjing was her mother.
On the qualities that a stepmother should have...
Of course, there are also good stepmother images, such as Jiang Wenli's "When Happiness Comes Knocking". In the face of the man she loves deeply, she endured the criticism of others and the distrust of her mother-in-law, and stepped into the heart of the baby step by step. Especially after Wa was bullied at school, she went straight to the classroom, taught the bullying boy a good lesson, and did what a father should do.
At that time, the child looked into her eyes, full of gratitude and trust.
However, objectively speaking, after all, she does not have her own children in the play, and at the end of the TV, she finally has her own children... Where the plot will go, the director is very clever to avoid, haha.
In 2020, when Song Dandan won the Golden Lion Award for her stepdaughter Zhao Ting, she cordially shouted and congratulated the "baby daughter", but frankly as she was, she also expressed truthfully in the interview, she and her stepdaughter can only do "respect each other as a guest", first of all, song Dandan became the first year of the stepmother, Zhao Ting left home, went to London boarding school, did not really live together, and could only "respect each other as guests"; secondly, Song frankly said that "DNA is too important, we will not love people without blood relations", but love House and Wu, Or understand that you care about your own family reorganization, so you will also seriously care about every member of this family. They are like friends, away from each other, and it is a good model to get along with each other. The so-called "distance produces beauty", and their own excellence should really be the embodiment of the quiet and good years.
On that day, Lao Yuan and I attended the wedding banquet of a couple of newlywed friends, and at the table, I suddenly sighed: On the day of Maruko's wedding, you said that the parents of both sides came to the stage to give a speech, is it me going or her cloud mother going? The old man said leisurely, "I have also thought about this problem..."
This is an interesting question.....
*Don't listen to your stepmother's words, suffer losses in front of you*
Maruko's eyes were red, and she went home miserable.
The doctor pulled out two teeth for her.
It has been painful for 3 days, and it should be rotten tooth decay to the nerves.
I said to her: You see, I told you to brush your teeth well, otherwise you will have a hard time eating, now believe it.
She stared at the red eyes, unconvinced: "It is useless to brush, or you have to pull it!" There was also a hint of irritation in the words, wondering if I was gloating.
Sometimes there is really no way to reason with the child, her logic does not find problems for herself, she only knows that I don't like to brush my teeth - my teeth are very sore now - you don't care about sympathizing with me, and come to reason with me - I hate you!
Also, if it were me, I would hate to nag me when I was sick, "You see you don't listen to me, the loss is in front of me."
Adults are always used to identifying themselves at all times – I am an experienced adult, and the truths I transmit to you are all for your own good. Otherwise, don't blame me for not reminding you in the first place!
Yes, you're right!
But I just don't like to hear it!
Dad's performance may have been the right way to open up than my hindsight, and he took her to buy ice cream to eat. When Maruko was crying, he hugged her, paid attention to the bleeding of her teeth, and comforted: It's okay, this is a normal process, and it will be fine soon.
I think that tonight's pills will suddenly flash the doctor's forceps before going to bed, and when I want to be lazy and not brush my teeth. She will choose between the two: brush or not brush, she has her own judgment.
The most wasteful thing to do with children is to be reasonable. One day, after they hit the south wall, they will look back and remember what we have asked, and they will say in their hearts, Well, it turns out that what you said is right.
So, don't rush to be the experienced adult.
When she hurts, she just needs comfort.
*Heartache*
Without accident, Maruko cried again.
Her cries, we have become accustomed to.
Because, she cried almost every day.
Eating slowly, urging her to have a loud voice and cry!
Homework is not done, no TV, crying!
Planned to go to Grandma's house to play, temporarily no time, do not let go, cry!
Ask her to brush her teeth, refuse to brush, criticize, cry!
To be honest, there are our problems and there are her problems.
Last night she copied homework, missed a lot, Dad was very angry, directly to the teacher text message, said that since she does not want to copy the complete, then do not do, go to the school teacher criticism is, give her a long memory.
Not long after, the teacher called back, I listened to the teacher's voice, fell into thinking, the teacher said:
"This child, from the look of the eyes, is a little inferior, timid, usually always frowning, in a bad mood, we have to encourage her more."
I seemed to see her sitting in the corner of the classroom, with her head bowed, thin and black, with a nervous look.
distressed.
Yes, she does have many shortcomings, she does not like to learn, cannot listen to the truth, does not eat soft and hard, loves to take shortcuts, and there are all kinds of small actions that cannot be put on the table. But after all, she was only nine years old, and didn't her father skip class and fight when he was nine years old?
We hope that she will learn to treat others, that she will at least learn to be serious, and that she will have a good future. But it ignored her pain at this time.
This is a knot that many parents find difficult to understand. Maruko's father and I also had a result in the deviation of educational philosophy. We don't agree with each other's point of view, but basically I make a compromise, after all, I am a stepmother, and the right to speak will be weak.
Therefore, most of my efforts will be focused on the adjustment of my husband's mentality, because I believe that only if the father's mentality is good and his way is adjusted, the daughter will be good; the daughter will be good, and the husband will be good. How important a virtuous circle is.
I wish there were fewer tears and more smiles at home; I wished Maruzi's face had more flesh; I wish she didn't always keep her head down at school.
Hopefully she feels that life is good.
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