Fu Seoul said in "Strange Story":
A good marriage is that he has the right to get out of the car at any time, but he has not gone,
It was he who was tied up by the five flowers, and there was no way to get out of the car to prove that he loved you,
Or did he see the scenery all the way and was reluctant to get off the car to prove that he loved you.
What's the scenery along the way? it is the maintenance of the longevity of the marriage,
It is the essence of marriage – demand, reproduction, and exchange of values.
01. How many people get married because of age
In ancient times, marriage paid attention to "the order of parents and the words of matchmakers",
When men and women reach a certain age, they get married.
In today's modern society, freedom of love, freedom of marriage,
You can choose your other half and find the right person.
But most people marry not because of love, but because of age.
Many people choose to fight for their careers at the age of falling in love,
Wait until the age of marriage, parents urge, friends rush,
So blind date, or find a person with the same fate to marry and have children,
That's what marriage needs.
35-year-old Ajay (pseudonym) is like this, very old,
Still single, the people around him are more anxious than him,
Whether it's a gathering of friends or a family gathering,
They are all negative teaching materials, and everyone is in the perspective of "good for you",
He was persuaded to get married and have children early, and even some friends ridiculed him for not liking men.
Finally, under the pressure of everyone "for your own good", Ajay surrendered his weapons and surrendered.
He met someone on a blind date who had the same experience as himself.
Then they didn't get married for long, and it belonged to Fengzi.
The child has not yet been born, and the quarrel between the two continues,
After the birth of the child, quarrels became commonplace,
Finally, in an argument, the two broke out completely,
After that, the two were separated, and neither of them paid attention to the other,
In the end, the two divorced, and the reason for the divorce was very simple that they could not get along.
After the divorce, both parties are not much sad, but it is a relief,
The reason is probably that they have never loved each other at all, and they are together because they need each other,
The most pitiful thing is the child, the little one, from the day he was born, it was a mistake,
The woman does not want children, Ajie with children, the future to meet true love, may not dare to love it!
That's the need for marriage, how many people marry because they're old,
How many people's marriages are barely sustained for the sake of children, can not say that it is unhappy,
It can only be said that such a marriage is difficult to maintain, and the husband and wife become cohabiting roommates,
When the child grows up, it may be the end of the marriage, or it may be a legal "enemy" for a lifetime.
02. Internet buzzword "breeding love"
"Reproductive love" is an Internet buzzword that refers to love and marriage for the purpose of having children.
Just to have children, pass on the generations, continue the incense, inherit the throne... It has nothing to do with love.
This sounds ridiculous, but it is real, that is, marriage with the purpose of having children.
The company Zhang is always an excellent person, at the age when he should be in love, choose a career,
After his career was successful, he didn't want to fall in love.
There are many bad examples around, so-and-so divorced, so-and-so cheated in marriage,
Because I have seen too many people and things of all kinds,
I have also talked about several relationships with different purposes,
Therefore, Zhang zong did not want to toss, just wanted to find someone to marry and have children.
Mr. Zhang soon married a college student who had just graduated.
Nowadays, it can also be regarded as a double harvest of career and marriage, and the wife and children are hot.
This is the essence of marriage, the "reproductive love" for the purpose of having children,
Because of the arrival of children, the family is happy and happy.
03. Marriage is an exchange of value
The long-term maintenance of marriage is not love, but the exchange of values between two people,
This is the secret of long-term marriage, and it is also the "scenery" that does not want to get off.
Sister Zhang is a mother of two children and the owner of a clothing store.
She and her husband got pregnant not long after they got married, so she gave up all her work to teach her husband and children at home.
Sister Zhang has been a full-time wife for 5 years, and she and her husband have less and less common language.
What used to be nothing to talk about has become nothing to talk about now,
Not only that, Sister Zhang felt that her husband was more and more disgusted with himself,
In the past, when I was in a relationship, my husband would take Sister Zhang with him wherever he went to eat.
Now Sister Zhang wants to take the child to her husband's dinner, but her husband refuses under various pretexts.
The husband will also dislike Sister Zhang for not wearing makeup and dressing up, and the taste of dressing is poor,
Looking at the bloated figure in the mirror, the dark circles of the eyes, the burnt skin,
Sister Zhang buys skin care products and pampers herself,
But the husband counted himself as "ugly and strange",
Sister Zhang then understood that when love becomes hate, everything is wrong.
In order to change, Zhang Jie began to manage her own clothing store again,
The store has gone from offline to online,
Sister Zhang sometimes wears sample clothes in the live broadcast room and sells clothes.
The business of the store is getting better and better, and Sister Zhang is becoming more and more confident.
One day, Sister Zhang's husband actually took the initiative to come to the company to pick her up from work.
He also took the initiative to take Sister Zhang to the party,
Sister Zhang, who can speak the Tao, also helps her husband to say that it is a single business,
The husband's eyes when he saw Sister Zhang were full of tenderness,
Speaking also becomes polite.
It's a value exchange.
You have to understand: no one in marriage has betrayed anyone, but some people are useless in marriage.
This statement sounds absurd, but it is true.
Marriage pays attention to the door to the door,
The conflict of values caused by the wrong door will make your marriage difficult.
In short, the values are different and do not have to be strong.
The same is true after marriage,
You have to understand that not every marriage can grow old.
Some people are here to grow, some people are to live,
Some people just teach your life a lesson.
After this incident, Sister Zhang also realized the true meaning of marriage,
What sustains marriage for a long time is not love, but the exchange of values between two people,
Both husband and wife should grow together and be evenly matched,
One side is moving too fast, the other side is stagnant,
Sooner or later, marriage will go wrong.
Write at the end:
The essence of marriage – demand, reproduction and exchange of values,
It's the scenery along the way,
For these reasons, I am reluctant to get off the bus,
On the train of marriage.
There is a line in "The World of Man": "Love is not the destination of the relationship between men and women, the ultimate destination of the relationship between men and women is marriage, love can be desperate, marriage is not OK." ”
Liking a person begins with appearance, falling into talent, and being loyal to character, and whether two people can go on for a long time depends on the three views. Love is like a campfire, only know how to keep warm but never add firewood, and even the most prosperous flame will burn out. With the people you can talk to, your heart will be incomparably healed. Because happiness is shared, sadness is shared, even in the face of life's head-on blows, it is always full of courage to fight. Love is a game, always with each other to maintain indistinguishable, evenly matched, in order to rely on each other for a long time.
Only by understanding the nature of marriage can you better manage marriage, and may you find the person who spends your life with you.
I am January Love August, watching other people's stories and tasting my own life. If the article helps you, I hope you will also help me. How far a person can go, the key lies in who to walk with, I use the whole way across the mountains and seas, I hope to get your "like" praise.