We learn to love from an early age, but what we do best is always to be loved. It wasn't until we became parents ourselves that we truly learned to love.
What is the true meaning of marriage? It is not tossed, after marriage can go to the end, not those who loved to die and live, thunder and fire, are those who are particularly lazy, are those who feel not tired of getting along.
1
Our greatest mistake is to give the worst temper and the worst side to the people closest to us, but to leave patience and tolerance to strangers.
When parents are outside talking and laughing, attentive and enthusiastic, returning home with their lovers but turning a blind eye and relatively speechless, such an environment, children from childhood can not feel love, can not know how to get along in a happy marriage, and ultimately will affect the child's concept of marriage and family.
Yang Dai defined the couple as follows:
Husband and wife should be lifelong friends, the most important thing between husband and wife is the friendship relationship, even if it is not a close friend, at least it should be a partner's friend or a mutually respectful partner.
A relationship between a lover and not a friend cannot last. Husband and wife are not enough friends, so they have to break up.
So parents must be cautious about their marriage, "everyone is a first-time parent", parents also need to learn, otherwise, your inadvertent behavior has caused harm to the child and do not know.
A happy marriage requires love, and it needs more ability.
2
In "The Two of Us", Yang Dai described the happy life of their family of three in this way:
Our family is very simple; the three of us, very simple. We have no needs from the world, no quarrels with others, but only to get together, to stay together, and to do what we can.
When we encounter difficulties, we bear them together, and the difficulties are no longer difficult; we accompany each other, no matter what bitter and difficult things, they can become sweet. When we are a little happy, we will also become very happy.
When studying in Britain, in order to take care of Yang Chen, Qian Zhongshu, who was "clumsy" on weekdays, boiled eggs, baked bread, warmed milk, and made mellow black tea.
Then wake up the sleepy-eyed Yang Dai, put a small dining table on the bed, and put a delicious breakfast on the small table, so that Yang Dai can sit on the bed and enjoy it at will.
Eating the meal cooked by her husband Jun himself, Yang Dai said happily: "This is the most fragrant breakfast I have ever eaten", and hearing his wife's satisfactory answer, Qian Zhongshu smiled happily.
Only in such a loving and warm life, children can feel love, parents' words and deeds, will affect the children, such an invisible "tutoring" is undoubtedly the best gift for children.
3
In adult psychological counseling, many problems are caused by traumatic childhood experiences, which you may not remember, but its impact is far-reaching and the root cause of various problems.
Do you remember the video that was popular in the circle of friends before?
Every father wants his daughter to live a happy life after marriage, but when he goes to his daughter's house to see her, he suddenly finds that his daughter's life is not what he thinks:
Almost instantaneously, the daughter changed from a quiet and elegant girl to a woman who was also a nanny, a mother, an employee, a wife, and a daughter.
The father was very sad, and he regretted the example he had set for his daughter over the years.
When he saw that his daughter was busy and anxious, while the son-in-law was calm and idle to watch TV, drink coffee, and play on the computer, the daughter could not idle between the laundry room and the kitchen, which was in stark contrast to the child's father.
Isn't that how he gets along with his wife at home? same!
Some people here will say, I just put it in my heart and didn't say it! Don't fool yourself, your child's senses are incredibly sharp, even if you don't say it on the surface, if you have this information in your heart, it will definitely be revealed unconsciously, and your child will definitely feel it.
When a couple denies his/her identity as a parent because of the other person's behavior, the child will behave in the same way as the excluded party. Simply put, the more disrespectful you are, the more like his/her child will be.
4
A happy marriage does not seek to be vigorous, dashing, that is the complex in idol dramas, and the real happiness is a long stream of thin water, accompanied by each other.
Ideal marriage,
It is an occasional surprise, and it is a daily intimate greeting;
It is the still water in the long river of years that flows deeply, and it is the endless look of each other.
Children whose parents are happily married will take many detours less, and they will gain a sense of stability and security in their hearts from an early age. It's easier to trust others and simpler.
They have been given a sunny background since childhood, which is the best protection for them.
Therefore, the best tutor that parents can give their children is the happiness of marriage.