There is such a sentence in the "Cai Gen Tan": "Rich and noble are more hot and cold, flesh and bones are more taboo, hot and cold, rich and noble than poor; jealousy, flesh and bones are especially cruel to outsiders, if you do not use cold intestines here, you should be calm, and you rarely sit in the troubled obstacles every day." ”
From ancient times to the present, brothers and sisters can not get along harmoniously, the tragedy of flesh and blood has occurred repeatedly, for example, during the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Zhi was persecuted by his brother Cao Pi, and issued an exclamation that "he was born from the same root, and he was too anxious to fry each other", accusing his brother Cao Pi of not thinking about brotherhood and forcing his brother to die. During the Liu Song Dynasty, Liu Ziluan was favored by his father, was jealous of his brother, and was given death at the age of ten, leaving behind the last words of "may the body not be reborn in the royal family".
In fact, the reason why brothers and sisters turn against each other is often because of two points, one is for profit, and the other is to meet a bowl of uneven parents.
Russell said: "For children, the value of parental charity is that it is more reliable and trustworthy than any other emotion. ”
For children, the love and care of parents is also irreplaceable, and it cannot be taken away by others. Obviously, they were all born of their parents, so why can he get the love of his parents and even occupy the resources that belong to me? I have to swallow my breath and give up what belongs to me, and I still don't get the slightest approval from my parents and siblings?
If things are uneven, there will be resentment, parents are uneven in a bowl of water, and they cannot treat their children fairly, which will only spoil family affection, lose balance, and cause disputes between flesh and bones.
However, some parents do not feel that they are eccentric at all, do not feel that they are uneven in a bowl of water, and even, they know that they are eccentric, but they do not feel that there is anything wrong with them, just because there are parents under the sky.
But are there really no parents under the heavens? For parents, to be born without raising is not to be, and it is not to have a bowl of water.
If you encounter a parent who is uneven in the bowl of water and does not feel that he is wrong, if you cannot reason with them, then there is no choice but to refuse and protect your own interests.
"After serving my parents for 5 years, my mother was sick, and my sister and brother scolded our family of 3, which really made me feel extremely cold."
Uncle Gu has been loyal and honest for most of his life, meeting his selfish sister and brother, and meeting his parents who are eccentric to the extreme and who are thinking of robbing the rich and helping the poor, and they also feel very helpless.
01. The ability to work more has become the reason why my parents have been staying in my family for the elderly and letting our family of 3 bear all the maintenance obligations;
Uncle Gu is 55 years old this year, born in a poor family, has an older sister and a younger brother, and his parents live on farming and raising a large family.
Uncle Gu's sister is 58 years old, and his younger brother is 48 years old, an old son of his parents and is quite loved by his parents. Due to the idea of preferring sons to daughters, the sister dropped out of school early, worked in the fields with her parents, and later married far away, and her parents saved money and provided for their two sons to study.
"My parents always said that if my brother hadn't given up his studies and, like me, had been admitted to college, his life wouldn't have been so bad." However, the reason why my brother gave up his studies was not because he wanted to give me the opportunity, but because he was spoiled by his parents, could not eat the pain of reading, and could not read on his own. ”
However, the parents did not care, just on the grounds of "you are the brother, and the best life", asked Uncle Gu to bear more responsibility, for example, repeatedly asked Uncle Gu to lend money to his brother, of course, not so much to borrow, but to say that it is to; let Uncle Gu introduce the brother to work, as a result, the younger brother fished for three days and dried the net for two days, was fired by the boss, Uncle Gu also fell out with friends, and his parents complained that Uncle Gu did not do his best.
5 years ago, Uncle Gu's parents came to Uncle Gu's house with luggage, moved in, and asked Uncle Gu to retire for them.
"Although my parents served my daughter-in-law to confinement and took my daughter for 3 years, when my daughter was 3 years old, my brother-in-law gave birth to a big fat boy, and my parents were very happy, so they left my house to take their grandchildren, which was 18 years old, and my daughter was brought up by my father-in-law and mother-in-law."
Logically, the younger brother should bear the responsibility of supporting his parents. However, Uncle Gu's parents only need the eldest son's family to support them, on the grounds that the able work more, the eldest son has good economic conditions, and does not need to save money for his son to marry his daughter-in-law, and the eldest daughter-in-law has retired and has time to take care of them.
Uncle Gu's daughter-in-law is a kind woman, who can't bear her husband's embarrassment, and sees her mother-in-law serving the confinement and taking her daughter for 3 years, leaving her in-laws behind.
02. When my mother was sick and hospitalized, I paid for it, my wife was forced to resign and serve, but my sister and brother only made a few phone calls;
Uncle Gu's parents are pensioned in the eldest son's home, one is five years, during this period, their food, clothing, housing and transportation are provided by Uncle Gu and his wife, and Uncle Gu's sister and brother do not say alimony, remember to make a phone call once a month to greet one or two sentences is good.
"Sister, I can understand, after all, my sister did not enjoy the resources of the family, did not read books, her parents did not help her share anything after marriage, I also gave her money a few times at most." Originally, in my hometown, my daughter did not divide the family property and did not bear the obligation of maintenance. However, my parents helped my brother bring a baby for 18 years, and my brother didn't even know how to make a phone call a month, so he had no conscience. ”
However, it is a big taboo to say bad things about his brother in front of his parents, and Uncle Gu's daughter-in-law complained about it for a sentence or two, which angered her in-laws and did not give her a good face for half a month.
Some time ago, Uncle Gu's mother fell ill and was admitted to the hospital. Because Uncle Gu's wife found a job in the restaurant after retirement, she planned to save more money for the elderly, so she had no time to take care of her mother-in-law, so she planned to hire a nurse.
However, Uncle Gu's parents were dissatisfied, believing that there was no daughter-in-law but asked the nurse to serve, worried about being seen by others as jokes, making a fuss for a long time, in desperation, Uncle Gu's wife had to quit her job and serve her mother-in-law until her mother-in-law was discharged from the hospital.
"When my mom was hospitalized, my sister made two phone calls and sent some nutritional supplements, and my brother made a phone call and said nothing. I paid for all the medical expenses, and my wife served my mother for half a month, and what did I get? ”
03. You line you, since you hate us for not taking good care of it, then, in the future, the parents will retire the matter of three families evenly;
"How do you serve your mother in a family of 3?" At the end of March, Uncle Gu's father celebrated his birthday, and Uncle Gu's sister and brother came to Uncle Gu's house to celebrate his father's birthday, but the first thing they did was to accuse Uncle Gu and his wife of not taking good care of their parents.
"A month ago I had a video call with my mother, my mother looks very energetic, why is she so unenergetic now? People have lost a few laps, how did you get it? ”
After listening to his sister's words, Uncle Gu felt very aggrieved, after all, for an 80-year-old elderly person like Uncle Gu's mother, he had a serious illness and was hospitalized once, which was a great damage to the body, or irreversible, and naturally different from before he got sick.
"Sister-in-law, why did you force my father to quit smoking?" Why don't you let my mom eat meat? Are you two so rich that you can't afford to buy meat for a few bucks? My dad has no smoke, how to survive? How can you treat my parents so badly? ”
In fact, the reason why Uncle Gu's wife did not let her mother-in-law eat meat was because of the doctor's advice. Uncle Gu's father coughed badly, and during the physical examination, the doctor repeatedly stressed quitting smoking, otherwise there was a risk of lung cancer.
Accused by the eldest sister-in-law and the younger uncle in turn, Uncle Gu's wife was angry and crying. Seeing that his wife was angry and crying, Uncle Gu's long-suppressed anger finally broke out, and he lost his temper with his sister and brother, and asked the 3 families to share the pension: "You go up, you serve well, you take them away and take care of them." ”
The sister and brother were not happy, and the parents were not happy, and they said that Uncle Gu had earned more, but this time, Uncle Gu had an iron heart.
"The reason why I earn more is because I studied hard and got into college, because I worked hard and worked overtime every day, which is not the reason why you rob the rich and help the poor, nor is it the reason for your eccentricity." Your parents gave birth to you, and you must fulfill your responsibility for the elderly. Sister, you get the least resources, you only need to give a few hundred dollars a month, but you are not qualified to point fingers at my wife. As for you, Gu Lin, your parents love you so much and help you bring a baby for 18 years, why don't you take on the responsibility of supporting your parents? ”
Seeing that his brother and parents still refused, Uncle Gu decided to send his parents to a nursing home. In the end, the younger brother had to take his parents to live in his own home for a year and share the responsibility of old-age care with Uncle Gu.
04. For those who take advantage of each other and sell well, rejection is the best way.
The writer Bi Shumin once said: "Rejection is suffering, but it is a temporary pain, and after the pain is peace." ”
Rejection is indeed very bitter, requires a lot of determination, but also has to bear the insult, the people close to you do not understand, but if you do not refuse, others will have to go forward, further unreasonable demands, take advantage of you.
They test success once, and they test it a second time until they hit a hard nail. Instead of refusing again at that time, the same need to fall out, but losing too many benefits, it is better to be ruthless from the beginning.
For those who take advantage of each other and sell well, rejection is the best way to let them know that you are not a persimmon that can be manipulated by others, and have your own bottom line. Hitting your mind will only touch a nose of ash.
END.
Today's Topic: What do you think is the root cause of brothers and sisters' enmity? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.