01
Husbands and wives were originally birds of the same forest, and they flew separately when the great trouble came. I believe that many people believe in this passage, so the attitude towards marriage is also more defensive than communicative.
I have heard before that five hundred times in a past life can be exchanged for the passing of the shoulders of this life, and the past life must not be broken in order to exchange for the acquaintance and love of this life.
In fact, in this world, we can meet a person, know, love, and finally enter the marriage hall, it is not easy, even so, when we go to the step of marriage, there will still be a lot of obstacles.
For example, when talking about the dowry at the time of marriage, the problem of the house, etc., most of the time it is the parents of the small couple to check, rationally analyze the gains and losses of the couple, and then discuss a set of plans that are satisfactory to both parties, of course, at this stage there are many talks.
Finally, the two people completed the marriage ceremony and officially began to belong to the lives of two people, only to find that the real problem had just begun.
02
Nana has always thought that her relationship with her husband is very good, and she will be able to grow old with her head in vain, but what happened after marriage has made her more and more disappointed in this feeling.
Nana and her husband have known each other since childhood. Nana had a relatively good academic performance when she was a child, and she was admitted to a key university as she wished, but her husband dropped out of school after graduating from high school, and the two people seemed to have no intersection, but they did not expect a classmate party and pulled into each other's relationship.
After that party, the two people reconnected, Nana was good-looking, highly educated, and had a good job, but her husband had nothing but a hard job. Everyone didn't look favorably on them, but they got married anyway.
Nana felt that she was married to love, and she didn't care about her husband's education and work, as long as it was this person.
But after marriage, life gave Nana a slap and shattered all of Nana's fantasies.
The mother-in-law said that she also grew up watching Nana grow up, and when she was young, Nana often came to her husband's house to eat, so Nana was never afraid of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
But really living together, Nana found that some things are really not as easy as they think, and the mother-in-law that Nana knows is only the tip of the iceberg.
The real mother-in-law, who loves to nag, wants to take care of everything, especially for Nana, it is simply harsh.
You can't talk when you eat, you can't play with your phone, you can't watch TV; every day what Nana has to wear must be arranged for Nana, and this festival can't wear red: that festival can't wear white and black, paying attention to a lot, but it seems to only restrain Nana.
Once Nana accidentally overheard her mother-in-law and her husband discussing herself, saying that she must be given a dismount to stand at home, Nana was also confused, and did not know how she had offended her mother-in-law.
Not long after, Nana became pregnant, originally thinking of continuing to work after giving birth to the child, but the husband and mother-in-law took turns to persuade Nana to take good care of the child, earning money should be a man's business, and the mother was finally reluctant to resign the child.
Nana's job is very good, the salary is twice that of her husband, the pressure of life increases after resignation, Nana earns more money, the cost is also larger, the newborn child costs a lot, the mother-in-law can't see it, and directly proposes her to manage the money.
Nana originally thought that her husband would discuss it with herself, but no, Nana knew that the salary card was already in her mother-in-law's hand.
The real contradiction also began after the husband gave the pay card to the mother-in-law.
Maybe the older generation is used to frugality, the mother-in-law is no exception, the housekeeper will save the province on the first day of the family, Nana's daily milk is stopped, the flowers set every day are also blackouted, fruits and vegetables are replaced by discounts, and only a few things are bought.
Since that day, Nana's daily meal has become a clear water fried cabbage, fried potatoes, not even fast meat, not to mention the fish and shrimp she ate before, ordering takeaway is not to think about it, and every time her mother-in-law prevaricates her with the excuse that takeaway is unhealthy.
In this way, a month is to save a lot of money, Nana also lost several pounds.
Seeing that it was going to be the New Year, Nana thought about buying some new clothes, and chose a lot, but they were all denied by the mother-in-law, even if Nana liked it again, the mother-in-law could not buy it without giving money.
For the first time, Nana felt the difficulty of not having money, she couldn't help but think of when she went to work, free to earn money and spend her own life, but unfortunately, the money saved at that time was spent on renovating the house, there was nothing left, she never thought that she would fall to this point.
Nana eats less and wears less, but after a long time, the mother-in-law's idea hit the child, thinking that it was too expensive to use diapers, simply did not buy: "When you were young, where there were diapers and not wet these things, it was also very good to use diapers, just wash more." "
How to come over when I was a child I don't know, anyway, Nana is about to be driven crazy by washing diapers, she once argued with her mother-in-law, but in exchange for her mother-in-law said to buy, buy and buy, half a month has not bought. And the husband is also perfunctory to Nana, completely towards the mother-in-law.
Nana has never been so helpless, obviously her mother's house is two streets apart, but she does not dare to let her mother know that her life is not good.
One day Nana took the child for a walk and came back to hear her mother-in-law and her husband chatting: "If you control the money, you can control people, you can't make her better than you, or you can't stay." "
It turns out that from marriage to now, the mother-in-law has been calculating, letting herself have nothing is to better control herself, not to let herself leave her husband?
Nana felt ridiculous, and the repression over the years made her explode at this moment: "Are you really a good calculation, do you think I can't leave without money?" I've had enough of this home, get divorced! With that, Nana took the child back to her mother's house.
At that moment, Nana felt that her love dream was shattered, she did not know whose problem this marriage ended so much, only that her husband and mother-in-law had never really treated her.
03
If there is a provocative person between husband and wife, and one party also listens to the provocation, then the marriage is bound to go to an irreparable point, it is only a matter of time.
First: Wise parents do not "step in" their children's lives at will.
When the child is married, life is the child's own, and parents should not be too involved. However, many parents are still unwilling to give up power to their children themselves, and even if the children are married, they still have to manage this small family.
Especially in today's society, parents always feel that their children are not big, they have no ability to deal with problems, even if the children have been adults for a long time, they are still worried, worried about their children's work, and worried about their children's marriage.
Therefore, many elderly people like to intervene in the marriage of their children and advise their marriage, as if they cannot live without their children's lives.
But in reality, you will find that the more parents are involved in the marriage, the more unhappy they are.
Just like Nana's marriage above, originally there was a certain emotional basis with her husband Qingmei Zhuma, and the two people did not care about their respective academic qualifications and jobs, but the husband had a mother who cared about these.
Nana's mother-in-law has always felt that Nana is better than her son's higher education and work, and she can live with her son, which is better than meeting, so she calculates everywhere, let Nana resign, control Nana's expenses, and strive to pull Nana to the same level as her son, even worse than her son.
But it was such a process that made Nana extremely disappointed in this relationship, and in the end, the mother-in-law personally broke off her son's marriage.
Second: Smart children do not easily let their parents interfere in their lives
If too much involvement of parents in their children's lives is love for their children, then the child's willingness to involve their parents is to rely on their parents more.
Many children who are more motherly and precious like to involve their mothers in everything, and marriage is no exception, no matter what the mother says, she thinks that the mother is right.
However, marriage is a matter of two people, except for the husband and wife, no one's participation can play a positive role in this marriage, because only two people who love or do not love know, whether they can tolerate each other is only clear to each other, and the third party's point of view is always just a suggestion.
Therefore, mature people should solve problems in marriage by themselves, should not rely on the decision of their parents, and do not need to listen to their parents' arrangements, so that marriage can be called their own marriage.
Marriages that really come together because of love rarely get divorced because of the couple's own reasons, if your marriage is not happy, then ask yourself, is there no love, or is there someone else involved?
Text/No Pen