The younger sister has been pregnant before marriage many times, and her reputation is very poor and she cannot marry out. Today, my sister is finally going to marry an honest man. At the wedding, there was a link for relatives to come up on stage and say a few words. Say okay is off the paper, me

The younger sister has been pregnant before marriage many times, and her reputation is very poor and she cannot marry out. Today, my sister is finally going to marry an honest man. At the wedding, there was a link for relatives to come up on stage and say a few words. I said that it was out of the manuscript, and I also memorized it. As a result, as soon as I took the stage, my brain suddenly went blank, and my mouth opened several times without making a sound. Under the eyes of everyone, I trembled and took out my mobile phone to send a message to my wife: Hurry up and take a picture of the manuscript and send it to me! The host looked at it and smiled: This is the style of a general, dare to stand on the stage and play mobile phones!

2 Recently, the company has a new girl who graduated from college. She has big eyes and long hair and white skin, and she is definitely the kind of gentle and cute and sensible type. In addition, there are many men and few women in the office, which is very sought-after, but I don't see who she has touched. One day asked her why, she replied very firmly: I want to work hard to make money! When you are old, you can only take care of a few young and good-looking boys.

3 The brother-in-law often abused his cousin, and the cousin raised a Tibetan mastiff for this purpose. When the brother-in-law moved again, he was bitten by the Tibetan mastiff and became a vegetative person. My cousin immediately divorced him and finally got out of the sea of suffering. Single for a year, my cousin still hasn't found a suitable other half. Today I went to play with her, and found that she was wearing a short skirt and her feet were red, and her knees were purple, and the road was not good. I asked her curiously: Sister, have you had a boyfriend? My cousin said with some embarrassment: No, in order to make others think I have a boyfriend, I knelt down for one night!

4 The female manager just got her driver's license and bought a BMW 7 Series at the 4S store. After work this evening, I plan to rub the female manager's car home. After getting into the car, the female manager took out the key with a skilled look, started it, and then took out her mobile phone and started the net. I thought it was cold and needed to heat up the car before it started, but two minutes had passed and she was still playing with her phone. I was very puzzled and asked her: Manager, why haven't you left yet? The female manager came to the sentence: Don't worry, I search the Internet for which foot is the brake?

5 My second-year homeroom teacher, his son's college entrance examination results in Shandong Province. So I brought a bottle of Maotai to ask the class teacher how to educate the children. Class Teacher: Nothing, just nothing to accompany him to play chess. I have been playing chess with my son for a year now, and he still comes first every time. I want to ask the class teacher now, is it that I play chess in the wrong way?

6 In junior high school, when it was hot, I put my sandals on the tuo in class. Once, I tuo tuoled my sandals, and when I wanted to wear them, they were gone! Near the end of class, the Chinese teacher grabbed a pair of shoes from under the desk, but it was not mine! Do you think I'm at the first table? I'm at the last table!" The guys in front of me, one foot at a time, passed my shoes from the back to the teacher's feet. What kind of spirit is it that makes them do such a boring thing!

7 Fa Xiao: "Every time my wife returns to her mother's house, she will leave me a message. Me: "What did she say?" "If it had been twenty years ago, she would have said, 'Honey, I'll be back soon.'" Me: "If only now, what would she say?" Fa Xiao: "She! As he was leaving, he said, 'Hey! Don't forget to water the flowers, feed the cats, clean the room, and look after the door! ’”

8 My sister-in-law wanted to look better when she was a camera anchor, so she went to the beauty salon and cut her double eyelids. Accidentally during the operation, the knife directly cut through the eyeball, so he became blind. The beauty salon compensated 4.5 million yuan, and my brother took this money and divorced my sister-in-law directly. He spent 20,000 yuan to study at Tsinghua University, mainly to woo his sister. The brother took a fancy to a schoolgirl, and every morning a pack of heart-shaped cookies and a bottle of milk. After two months of doing so, I finally chased the girl in my hand. In the morning, my brother went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped cookie. The girlfriend asked happily, "Where did you buy this cookie?" I went to a lot of supermarkets and couldn't buy cookies of this shape. The brother said triumphantly: "Of course you can't find it, this is all eaten out by me..."

9 I started my business at the age of 18, 10 years later, and now I have opened a company, which is also a small achievement. In the afternoon, I bought a cake to take home for my two nephews. The kids asked me to cut it open, and I deliberately cut it in different sizes. Then they took a piece of each of their left and right hands and handed it to them, and they clamored that the left side was big, and I took a big bite, and they said that the right side was big, and I took another big bite. Then they pointed to the left hand and said big, and when I was about to bite again, my father kicked it out.

10 My favorite goddess treats me like a spare tire and kicks me away mercilessly when she's done using me. Today I met her and her boyfriend at dinner together, and her mobile phone was on the table. I pulled out my phone and sent her a message: It's time to give child support. As soon as her mobile phone lit up, her boyfriend took a look, broke the chopsticks on the spot, did not eat the meal, and left directly. Needless to say, I'm going to bring a small bench to watch!

11 I used the WeChat trumpet to add the female boss, and after a second, I asked: "Beauty, do you have a handsome guy in your unit?" The landlady said: "There is a handsome guy, that is, the courage is a little small!" I wondered, "How do you know!" The landlady said: "You have the ability to ask in person, what is the skill of using a trumpet..." I was angry at the time, put aside my disguise, went directly to her office, sat opposite her, switched the WeChat number, and chatted with her seriously: "Beauty, do you have a handsome guy in your unit?" The landlady wrote back and said: "There is a handsome guy, that is, there may be a problem with the brain..." You see, she scolded people, I slammed the door and left, I decided not to talk to her about WeChat today. Hum! 

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