When you are old, how will you arrange your old age?
Do you live with your children, help them with their children, do housework, and enjoy the joys of the world, or do you live alone with your wife and fully enjoy your old age?
It has been said that the invasion of children's marriages by parents may turn family relations into mashed potatoes.
Therefore, when conditions permit, most parents are reluctant to live with their children. Because at that time, parents were not only free nannies for their children, but also ate ate machines for their children.
But there are some exceptions, that believes that raising children to prevent old age, raising sons, sons should assume the responsibility of supporting parents. Thus, family contradictions and mother-in-law contradictions arise from this.
01, the family is not well- and the daughter-in-law accompanies the marriage room to make up
Aunt Luo, 58, has always been proud of her son. Because his son was diligent and enterprising, he was admitted to a key university by relying on his own ability, and then stayed in the provincial city to work. Whether it is the son's study or life, he does not need his parents to worry about it, and he belongs to the typical children of other people's families.
When the son got married, Aunt Luo, who was not well off, could not make a down payment for a while and a half, and could only barely make up 200,000 yuan. After that, the daughter-in-law's parents promised to accompany the marriage to a marriage room, and as for the decoration, it used Aunt Luo's 200,000 yuan.
She paid for it herself, but the real estate deed did not have her son's name, which made Aunt Luo feel very uncomfortable, and her attitude towards her daughter-in-law and relatives was also a little cold.
At that time, the family said so, the house is our dowry for our daughter, naturally we will not write the man's name. Aunt Luo muttered: How should the 200,000 decoration funds from her own be calculated?
As a result, the daughter-in-law stifled her: since ancient times, the man bought a house and the woman married. Now my parents are willing to accompany the marriage room, only let you out of 200,000, what are you not satisfied?
Aunt Luo wanted to refute it, but her son gave her a look and told her not to worry about it anymore. In the end, the real estate deed only wrote the name of the daughter-in-law, but the mortgage still had to be repaid together.
Aunt Luo wanted to remind her son, but her son was not very impatient, saying that they were all married, and whose name was written on the property deed was the same. The son's impatience, Aunt Luo understands, naturally as a parent can not take the down payment, so that the son can not look up in front of his parents-in-law and wife.
Because there was such a drama before marriage, for a long time after marriage, Aunt Luo and her wife did not go to their son's house. Because the daughter-in-law is not welcome, although the son does not say it, Aunt Ke Luo also knows how to avoid it.
02, the mother-in-law is aggrieved: raising children to prevent aging, what is wrong with living in the son's home for the elderly
When the daughter-in-law was pregnant, Aunt Luo took the initiative to ask for help, saying that she would take care of the daughter-in-law. But the daughter-in-law refused, saying that her mother-in-law would take care of her. When the daughter-in-law gave birth to the child, Aunt Luo volunteered again, but the daughter-in-law still refused, saying that the mother-in-law did not have the mother-in-law to be intimate.
In this way, the daughter-in-law rejected her twice, and Aunt Luo could only give up. But she thought that she would not contribute, so she would give some money, so she gave her daughter-in-law ten thousand yuan and asked her to buy more supplements to supplement her body. As a result, the daughter-in-law also dislikes giving less money.
Because she didn't deal with her daughter-in-law very much, even if she missed her son and grandson very much, Aunt Luo did not dare to rush to visit her son's house. Until his wife was sick and needed to go to the provincial city hospital for diagnosis and treatment, the old couple came to live with their sons and parents for the first time.
Seeing them coming, the son did not say anything, but the daughter-in-law's face was very ugly. That night, the sound of husband and wife arguing was heard in the son's room. Aunt Luo did not dare to persuade and could only pretend to be indifferent.
But in the month that followed, the daughter-in-law also quarreled four times, each time ending with her son begging for forgiveness. Seeing this, Aunt Luo was a little distressed about her son, so she took the initiative to give her daughter-in-law 3,000 yuan for a month's living expenses.
Although the daughter-in-law was too little in her mouth, she still accepted the money. But after that, the daughter-in-law still did not give them a good look. Aunt Luo couldn't sit still, so she asked her son and daughter-in-law why they quarreled.
The son was also very embarrassed, so he gave it all up, and it turned out that the daughter-in-law was worried that Aunt Luo's old family would not leave when she came to live at home, so her parents would not be able to live in the pension. After all, this dowry house was bought by her parents, and in the daughter-in-law's life plan, there are only her parents and no in-laws.
Aunt Luo told her wife all these words, and her wife made a fuss about leaving that day, saying that they did not pay for a house, lacked confidence, and could not live in her son's house. Instead of being abandoned and driven away, it is better to take the initiative to leave and retain some face.
Aunt Ke Luo did not want to ah, she was familiar with her grandson and became familiar with a lot, it was the time to cultivate feelings. If she left at this time, wouldn't all her previous efforts have been in vain? In the future, the grandson only recognizes the grandmother and grandfather, and as for the grandparents, it is estimated that only politeness and politeness are left.
But it is not okay to go, after the son confessed, the daughter-in-law began to make trouble again at night, sneering and sneering, pointing out that Sang scolded the locust, and Aunt Luo listened to the heart very unhappy.
While packing her bags, she was aggrieved: Raising children to prevent aging, what is wrong with living in her son's house? Why is the daughter-in-law so unwilling to see them?
03, the distance between a bowl of soup is the best distance for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Whether it is a mother and daughter, or a mother and son, as long as they have lived together for a long time, there will always be bumps and bumps, conflicts, not to mention mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are not related by blood.
Therefore, a reasonable and enlightened in-laws will choose to live separately from their sons and daughters-in-law, living separately and living in peace. On the contrary, those parents who insist on going to their son's side will most likely cause contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because a family cannot accommodate two hostesses.
In fact, the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, between children and parents, between a bowl of soup, is the best distance. Because it is not close, it is possible to take care of each other, and there can be all kinds of space and privacy, and it will not interfere with each other.
Today's Topic:
Do you think the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be separated by a bowl of soup?
Half-summer commentary: Dissect the emotions of marriage, teach you to read the human nature of the human heart!