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Everyone longs to meet the right person, and then hold hands with him and go through life, but in real life, it is very difficult to find a person who is a soul fit, especially those who plan to get married, let alone delusionally want to get an idol drama romantic love.
Marriage and love are different, love can be desperate to hinder, firmly with each other, and marriage makes us have to take into account the reality of chai rice oil and salt, just imagine, if every day life is a chicken feather, will you still have some expectations for romance?
Marriage is not just a simple way for two people to live together, it is a combination of two families, once the family members do not get along well enough, the atmosphere within the family will be extremely tense.
As a common marriage problem, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has made countless mother-in-law and daughter-in-law tense.
From the daughter-in-law's point of view, the in-laws are not related to themselves, although they are the husband's parents, but when they are around the in-laws, they can never be as relaxed as at home.
If the attitude of the in-laws is more easy-going, not randomly looking for fault, the daughter-in-law can also understand the hardships of the second elder, try her best to help them do what they can, then the atmosphere of this home will be incomparably harmonious, but once both sides continue to calculate, measuring the pros and cons of gains and losses, then this home is definitely full of contradictions.
There is a question in the family conflict debate that you must be curious about, that is, whether the daughter-in-law has the obligation to be filial to the in-laws. In response to this question, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law must have their own reasons, but from an objective point of view, it has the most standard answer, let's take a look.
The law does not expressly stipulate that a daughter-in-law must support her in-laws and in-laws, but the daughter-in-law must assist her spouse in fulfilling her maintenance obligations.
The in-laws are the parents of the man, and they have no grace for their daughter-in-law, so even if the daughter-in-law is filial, she will not be as close as to her own parents.
Coupled with the fact that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law belong to two generations, due to the large difference in everyone's growth environment and ideological concepts, it is easy to have friction in the process of getting along, and it is necessary to know that the biological mother and daughter will have contradictions, not to mention two people who are not related by blood.
Contradictions are not terrible, as long as you maintain decency and duty on the issue of pensions, you are afraid that two people are preoccupied, so that a big war is difficult to avoid.
Daughters-in-law filial piety stem from respect for their elders and love for their husbands, and as long as they bear part of the maintenance obligation, others should not blame them.
The stability of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not only requires both parties to perform their respective duties, but also requires the husband to mediate from it, if the husband can carry it clearly, the family naturally does not have so many contradictions.
The root cause of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The reason why the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law are fierce is mainly because they both focus their love on a man, when two women stand against each other, they will become competitors, and the husband at this time is equivalent to a sandwich biscuit.
Once the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a dispute, the husband should do the most is to actively adjust, rather than blindly avoid, if the husband is a hand-throwing treasurer, let the two sides of the contradiction deal with it themselves, the heart knot will only get bigger and bigger, and there will never be a day to open.
Psychological experts said that husbands should give their wives and mothers more understanding when the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law breaks out, and must not talk about big truths at length, but should stand in the perspective of each other to understand them.
If the wife expresses her grievances to the husband, the husband can do some practical things, such as spending more time with her, or taking the wife out to play and relax.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually not terrible, as long as the wife can feel your preference for her, even if there is a contradiction, she can still feel the warmth at home.
The same should be true when listening to the mother's grievances, not always from the perspective of the wife to accuse her of being wrong, but to understand her from the heart.
Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can feel that their position in this family is extremely important, and the competition between the two people will become less and less, and the relationship will gradually ease down.
Of course, not all in-laws are reasonable people, and some people ask their daughters-in-law to support them purely with an egoistic mentality. If the in-laws have never treated their daughters-in-law well in life, but think that it is a matter of course for the daughter-in-law to be filial to the in-laws, then this is absolutely moral kidnapping.
The payment and return are mutual, and the in-laws treat the daughter-in-law with care, and the daughter-in-law will definitely feel it. If you want your daughter-in-law to be willing to filial piety to your in-laws, your in-laws must learn to compare hearts to hearts.
In short, the daughter-in-law has no obligation to directly filial piety to the in-laws, but she must assist her spouses in supporting the in-laws together. I wonder what you think about this?
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
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参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205