If your parents, relatives and friends asked you about your income, how would you answer? Is it to hide your true income, to say it lower, or to tell the truth, or, for the sake of face, to say it higher?
A writer once said: Face is the most difficult and useless thing for a person to put down. The more you care about it, the heavier it gets, the harder it gets.
Punching a swollen face and being fat, that is to say, those who love face, for the sake of face to say big words, it is possible to cause trouble, meet some people who want to take shortcuts, want to take advantage, may be eyeing you, try their best to get benefits from you, that is, they are not afraid of thieves, they are afraid of thieves.
What's more troublesome is that nine times out of ten the people who are worried about you are related to you, are your relatives and friends, and have feelings. When the time comes, they come to you, do you say yes or no?
If you agree, you will not be willing, your own interests have been damaged, and when you encounter inches and inches, you will be targeted at this, constantly making demands on you, like a dog skin plaster, and you can't shake it off. Don't agree, people who can do things that harm others and benefit themselves are often good at holding high and stepping low, and when the time comes, gossip will surround you and make you feel annoyed.
Li Ka-shing said: "When you put down your face to make money, it means that you have understood things; when you use money to earn back face, it means that you have succeeded; when you can make money with face, it means that you are already a character; when you are still there drinking, bragging, not knowing anything, pretending to understand, and only loving the so-called face, it means that you have been like this in your life." ”
"The in-laws asked about income, the husband opened his mouth and wanted to say 20,000, after I stepped on it, he changed his mouth to say 10,000, and when he returned home, he complained about me, saying that I didn't even trust his parents, and actually let him lie and deceive his parents." Actually, it's really no wonder to me, but I know all too well what kind of person my in-laws are and that he has a terrible relative. ”
Asking her husband to hide her income from her in-laws, Ms. Han's behavior seems to be unfilial, but in fact it is also a helpless move.
01. The father-in-law loves face, the mother-in-law is an old and good person, and the treatment of relatives is responsive;
Speaking of her in-laws, Ms. Han also felt helpless.
For her daughter-in-law, the in-laws are very good, amiable, reasonable, waiting for Ms. Han to confinement, helping Ms. Han with a baby for 4 years, respecting Ms. Han, and the relationship with Ms. Han is very harmonious.
Therefore, Ms. Han is very grateful to her in-laws and is willing to honor her in-laws, but the biggest shortcoming of her father-in-law is that she loves face, and her mother-in-law is an old and good person, and she is eager to respond to her relatives, which has caused a lot of trouble to Ms. Han and her husband.
"At the New Year's Day, I had dinner with his relatives, and his relatives shouted at my father-in-law as a big brother, taking turns to toast my father-in-law, and my father-in-law was very drunk, and my husband persuaded him for a long time, and he refused to stop, and he had to drink it thoroughly before he was willing to give up, and he was admitted to the hospital for this."
When Ms. Han's husband counted down her father, her father-in-law still had a straight and bold attitude: "They gave me a toast, indicating that I have face, people give me face, I can't help but give people face." Trees want a skin, people want a face, if there is no face, is it still called a person? ”
Ms. Han's mother-in-law is amiable, kind by nature, not good at quarreling, not good at saying rejecting people, is an old and good person, when others ask her for help, she is almost doing her best.
"My husband has not received a call from my in-laws who ask for help, some people go to the city to run errands, reluctant to live in the hotel, want to live in my family, some people's sons do not farm, go out to work there is no way, please." Which lack of money, looking for us to borrow money, it is estimated that I know that my temper is not very good, directly looking for me will be rejected, I found my in-laws' heads, let my in-laws open their mouths, so as to take filial piety to pressure us, it is indeed very troublesome. ”
02. If relatives really need it, I am willing to help, but people like his cousins and aunts, I really don't want to see, and I am afraid of being entangled with them;
Although Ms. Han's temper is not very good, she is not completely unreasonable. If anyone really encounters a hundred thousand urgent events, she will also reach out to help, which is considered to be a good thing.
"Last year, his cousin's newborn son was seriously ill and raised money everywhere to save his life, and he told me that I immediately took 3,000 yuan to him without saying anything. Naturally, we cannot hesitate to hesitate about the major events of human life. However, people like his cousins and aunts, I really hate it, and I am especially afraid of being entangled with them. ”
Ms. Han's husband's cousin and aunt are the kind of people who like to be greedy and cheap, obviously said well, everyone together to pack some ponds, get aquaculture, and make money together, but since it is a partnership to make money, you should also contribute money! However, the cousin and aunt did not pay for anything, and the second did not contribute, and let Ms. Han's in-laws do everything. When the money is earned, it will come to the door, and according to the original agreed penny, the less money will not give up.
They never hold banquets, go everywhere to eat at other people's homes, never give gifts, and never return invitations.
"My husband also told me that his cousin's son had good grades when he was young, and his cousin and cousin were about to exaggerate their son to the sky, often showing off their son's achievements and satirizing my husband." After waiting for high school, his son was lazy, did not study hard, his grades plummeted, my husband's grades became much better, and then, he did not hear the uselessness of reading in the mouths of his cousins and cousins. ”
Ms. Han is very clear that her husband's cousins and cousins belong to inferior relatives and are not suitable for excessive interaction, and relatives like this, not to mention sending charcoal in the snow, do not take advantage of you when you are rich, and step on you when you are down, it is all good.
However, when encountering the in-laws who respond to the needs of relatives, Ms. Han felt a headache, and looked for her husband to say it, after all, it was her husband's parents, which was indeed quite difficult, so Ms. Han thought of a way.
03. Honor your parents, let your parents really feel the benefits, rather than just giving them face;
"Before going to visit my in-laws, I specifically told him to tell my in-laws that we had recently encountered difficulties, such as the impact of the epidemic, and that our income had fallen, and the two of them together only made 10,000 yuan a month. Although my in-laws are responsive to relatives, they definitely hurt my son more, and we can't help our relatives borrow money from us when we don't have enough money! ”
Ms. Han's husband was very unhappy, almost telling the truth, until he was stepped on by his wife, he reacted and lied according to his wife's request. However, he was too unwilling to go and became angry with Ms. Han.
"If your parents knew our real income, would they say it when their relatives asked?"
"If your relatives knew, would they come to you to borrow money?" Especially your cousins and cousins? ”
"When the time comes, will you borrow or not?" If you borrow it, others don't say it, just say your cousin and cousin, can they pay back the money? Have they ever paid back? If they don't borrow it, they will kidnap morally, say that they don't miss family affection, and then go to your parents, what are you going to do? ”
"The money is lent out, or it will not come back, we quarreled, my parents know, will my heart be better?" Don't they feel guilty? ”
After listening to Ms. Han's series of questions, her husband was dumbfounded.
"Filial piety to parents, not only to save face for parents, the most important thing is to let parents enjoy the actual benefits." We pay our parents alimony every month, send them things every three to five minutes, and visit them as soon as we have time, and we live happily, isn't it good? Ruined for the sake of face, which one is happy? ”
In the end, Ms. Han persuaded her husband to approve of Ms. Han's approach.
04. Treat people, keep a low profile, and be better for yourself.
Lu Yao wrote in "Ordinary World": "The reason why people suffer is to pursue the wrong things. If you don't bother yourself, others won't bother you either. ”
Face is for people to see, the middle is not useful, the inside is their own, live well, enjoy you, live badly, the person who suffers is you, no one can take away what belongs to you, and no one can bear the consequences of your wayward behavior for you.
Be human, keep a low profile, and be better for yourself. Many times, the troubles are all found by yourself, if you don't show off, don't talk about it everywhere, how can others know your true situation, how can they hold your handle to blackmail you?
Remember, face is far less important than the inside.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Ms. Han did it right? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.