*Title Source: Question 5 of this issue
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Question 1
Keywords: blind date
Dear doll goddess, I feel very happy to be your little fan every day, and I really feel so lucky.
I'm 83 years tall, weigh 50kg, d cup, self-rated moderately low, divorced, have a 6 year old daughter and ex-husband, don't need me to pay child support, only ask me to spend every weekend with my children. The work is outside the public institution, engaged in front desk assistant reception, with an annual salary of 80,000. Second-tier cities have one-bedroom self-occupied.
Offline blind date to know the man, 74 years, height 180, weight 97 kilograms, has a daughter and ex-wife to go to the United States. Work precision mechanical engineer management, corporate partner. The annual salary is 400,000, one set of outlet houses in the same city, and one set of self-housing. He is not alone.
I really feel that he is my male god, like him very much, and have already established a relationship. He was also very nice to me, and most of the dates were paid for by him, and he took the initiative to contact me every day. In February this year, I met on a blind date, and valentine's day to sign up for my driver's license was a holiday gift from him.
I learned through the video of the marriage broker that he did not want a public institution, and he wanted a person who could help him manage the company to be the other half. I have expressed my concern that it will not last long, and his reply is that it is just a template that I want, and I feel good after seeing me.
My problem is that I am high in all aspects, I want to remarry and then have children, very worried that he is short choice for me, if I can get the doll goddess bothered to guide, grateful, separate or not are accepted, thank you ~
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answer
Your two conditions are still matched, from the photos you sent over, if it is not excessive beauty, 83 years can have such a state is quite good, the figure is also good, the chat history is also quite talkative, there are pushes and pulls, the other party will like you is not surprising.
When many people have no object, the object they imagine in their hearts is a kind, but when they really choose a mate, the object they find is the same. So don't dwell too much on what he said before, and focus on his sincerity in choosing you after meeting you.
You are in February blind date, 2.28 to ask questions, a month of short time together, can not give too much information, not long enough time can not see the length of the choice, can only say that you stretch the front line to see. At the same time, try to keep the PU low, do not interfere with the other party's long-term choice because of your own factors, and see if he will naturally promote the relationship. If you have a question, you can ask it again in a few months, and remember to attach valid information when the time comes.
Question 2
Keywords: bargaining
I am 92,164cm, 48kg before pregnancy, undergraduate, current pregnancy, unemployed after pregnancy, pre-pregnancy monthly income 4000+.
Husband the eldest, a brother and a sister, 95, 174cm, 75kg, college, annual salary of 70,000.
I want to ask about the contradiction with my in-laws. In April 2020, the in-laws came to propose to the relatives and promised a bride price of 108,000 at the end of the year, without a caravan. Married in the first half of 21 years.
At the end of 20, his parents asked if they could give half, I knew the killing price, but during this time, I thought there was no explosion, there was no getting along, there was no WeChat, no meeting and other communication.
My parents did not agree after learning about it, because it was the amount and time they promised, and now they are suddenly bargaining, and everyone is uncomfortable. In the end, the parents of both sides communicated and agreed to give 108,000.
The wedding was scheduled for May 21, and one day in April my husband asked me, saying that his parents had a question, asking if our family must have a 108,000 bride price, if we buy a car or a house, can we have less. I said yes, how much do you want to give. My husband said 50,000, I said I can communicate with my parents, buy a house or a car, the bride price can definitely be less. Husband said curious, if so, now give 100,000 8, later bought a house, we will not return 50,000 to them.
I was very aggrieved, he said that it was just a question from his parents, but he felt that it would be difficult to get along with in the future, and he felt that he was treated slowly, but for this, it was a pity to give up his feelings for three years. The husband is very nice and has financial power. My husband wants my mother-in-law to take care of me, help with the children, and ask how to deal with the contradictions with my in-laws and stabilize my mentality.
A family like this with three children, struggling with the bride price, is likely to encounter difficulties.
As the eldest brother, your husband is the first in the family to get married, if the cost is very large, then there is not much left for the younger brothers and sisters. I understand that you are very painful as the party who was killed, but from the perspective of his parents and his cautious appearance, their whole family's mind is not bad, that is, the family foundation is not so thick, if the eldest can spend less when he gets married, the second and third elders can separately come out a little, after all, the palms of the hands and the backs of the hands are meat, each is the mother's child, always can not just let the boss scenery and marry the daughter-in-law, regardless of the children behind. If you can give 50,000 less as you said later, then the brother's bride price and the sister's dowry add up to 10w, which is a very real problem.
Two old people are not easy, your husband must also know this, see him afraid that you are angry, carefully consider the way you will communicate with you, he and your in-laws should be in the back of the ground through the gas, parents these two years are indeed tight, if you can really support you to buy a house in the future, then you now want less than 50,000 yuan is not completely unacceptable. Maybe they don't want to treat you badly, after all, the people who really bargain are directly bargaining, where there is a consultation with the other party. Your husband came to ask you several times, and he respected your family's opinions, and you were the main one.
So, you may be able to put yourself in the other person's shoes and think about it. From your husband's point of view, he wants to give you good treatment in his heart, the family really does not have much money, after taking out so much money, life may be very tight, as the eldest son, he can't bear to see his parents embarrassed. You can tentatively ask your husband, such as "Is your parents short of money", "Is there any big head that needs to spend money recently", and then see how your husband answers, and through his tone of voice to understand the situation of the in-laws.
On the other hand, if you can make the scene look better now, it is equivalent to leaving a way back for the future. There are many families that are not very generous, and they rely on the eldest brother and sister-in-law who started the family first to support the family and take care of the younger brothers and sisters. For example, some big brothers in the family will directly notify the daughter-in-law when the younger brother is married, saying that my brother is getting married, and I, as the eldest brother, will take 40,000 yuan out; when the sister is married, he will say that my sister wants to get married, and I as the eldest brother will take 10,000 out. The same is 50,000 yuan, all have to take out, in this way, and then compare the treatment you are getting now, is it completely different.
If you can suffer a little grievance now, take the initiative to say that the family economy is tight, you can ask for less than 50,000 yuan, and when your younger brothers and sisters get married, the initiative is in your hands, your husband knows that you have been wronged, even if you have supported in advance, you will not take money from home to help your younger brothers and sisters. You also lowered the PU in the heart of your in-laws and husbands, and with parental investment, you will tilt more to your home, how to calculate are worth it.
As for your husband's parents, they are real people. You are already pregnant with a child, the choice is very low, if they want to give less money, they can "bully" you, take the opportunity to force your family, but they neither sell in front of you, nor do they say ugly. This kind of family is generally more reasonable and easy to get along with. It is recommended that you get along with them well, be more sympathetic to them and care more about them. In the future, you still expect your mother-in-law to take the child, don't assume that she is a bad person.
Female single man is not alone is a minefield, in addition to paying attention to their own PU, have more children, you also have to be careful, do not quarrel because the husband invests in younger siblings, it is not good for you and your children's parental investment, married is a family, is a community of interests, his younger brothers and sisters are not living well, then you will not be good, non-independent families are helping each other to live together.
You are pregnant with a child now, first raise your body, prepare for marriage, don't think too much about the rest, pregnant for 6 months in February, you are all about to give birth, already on the string, don't mention anything "give up three years of feelings and a little pity" words. And from the photo, your choice is not as high as you mistakenly think, your husband married you back is also secretly weighed that you can do a good job of sister-in-law, after having children, seize the time to do a MV promotion, and be sure to pay more attention to the problem of PU.
You see I am so gentle and you analyze, without him, in fact, it depends on your pregnancy. If you weren't pregnant, I'd be sure to give you a basin of cold water to wake you up. With this mentality of yours, 9 out of 10 are going to go wrong. I won't say more when I'm pregnant, you take care of it yourself. Cherish your life now and be grateful.
Question 3
Keyword: mindset
Dear doll goddess Hello, especially lucky to meet the doll sister, I changed a lot, super grateful ~
I have a question I would like to ask my sister, my old unit is in Dalian, Liaoning, working within the system, and now training in the school, re-assigning work positions according to academic performance rankings. Because my old unit is in hot, my grades are not as good as others, and I am likely to work in Sanya in July this year.
I hope to go back to Dalian, I am a Liaoning native, mainly do not want to go to Sanya is my parents and themselves are more accustomed to the temperature and living habits of the northeast, but no matter where I go, they will also support me to accompany me. Now living under one roof with competitors every day, and worrying about the future, I am not really happy every day.
Sister Doll, how do I dredge up my emotions?
In the competitive environment, there will indeed be very anxious and nervous emotions, which is difficult to avoid, your future is unresolved, I can't make you feel really happy now, after all, I am just an emotional blogger, there is no way to fight against human instincts.
Instead of worrying about going to Sanya to work now, it is better to study with a boring head and raise your grades to fight. If you have fought it, these troubles will disappear; if you can't fight it, then consider whether to go to Sanya. I understand your nostalgia, but changing places is not necessarily a bad thing, maybe you know the other half of your life after you go, or there were fewer competitors in the past, and you got the workplace opportunities that you couldn't get in the past, and anything can happen in the future.
Do your best, obey the destiny, believe that what God gives you is the best, then it is easy to be happy. If you always look at this dissatisfaction and look at that unhappiness, it will have nothing to do with happiness. As long as you have worked hard, everything is the best arrangement.
Old powder advanced
Question 4
Keywords: Moms who don't ask for anything in return
Hello dolls and little helpers! The problem I face now is with my mom!
I have a very good relationship with my mother, she is a stone woman, my father is busy at work, my mother contracts all the chores in the family, after my husband and I get married, the two of us will go to my parents' house for dinner every day (we live in a neighborhood) My mother will also prepare breakfast for me and my husband, send me to our house early in the morning, take care of me and my husband as a baby, and now my husband says that I am very close to my mother, even more than my mother-in-law!
Now I am six months pregnant, my husband wants to help me find a sister-in-law, I don't want my mother to work so hard, this is also my idea, I mentioned it to my mother after I did not expect her to be particularly opposed! She told me not to think about it, just rest when the time comes, and she will never let the wo a little.
I know that it is very hard to take the baby, and when the time comes, she will have to cook for me, and my husband and I mentioned that I would give my mother ten thousand yuan a month when I arrived, and my husband agreed. But now the money I give my mother every month (meal money, living expenses, etc.) she helps us to store in the passbook of my name, usually I just need to rest except for some necessary things, I am at home with my mother, we chat and go grocery shopping with her, or go out for a walk!
Now my appeal is:
I really don't know how to repay my mother, give her money she also helped me save, explaining that it is our living expenses, she still will not spend, usually buy her clothes or something if it is expensive she will be dissatisfied. If my mom takes care of my confinement, how do I convince my mom to take my money, or is there any other way to give her more love?
Your mom is a very typical stone mom.
Love children, good for children itself makes her very happy, do things hard and complain without asking for returns, which is why female stones will get so much parenting investment from male cloth, she takes care of the whole family, the children take good care of them, the children also love her very much, hurt her, basically are responsive.
If you love you like your mother loves you, let her do whatever she wants, and loving children is what they like to do.
As for how to repay her, the usual living expenses or the money to help you bring the baby in the future, you should continue to fight, no matter where she exists, what she saves, this money is currently managed by her mother, once she has any needs, she can dispose of it at any time.
At the same time, I usually pay more attention to my mother's needs, and once I find out what she likes, I will meet her as soon as possible. Whatever her friends, her colleagues, and the moms in the neighborhood have, you'll match it all to your mom. For example, gold and silver jewelry, even if your mother usually does not wear it, she must have it, and she can come in handy at any time when she attends a party in the future;
For example, new clothes and new shoes, you buy a hang tag, the price is cheaper, let her wear it casually;
For example, take her out on a trip, help her take a lot of beautiful photos, and provide rich materials for her circle of friends;
For example, regular physical examinations, pay attention to the health of the mother, and buy some nutritional health products for the mother;
If the mother likes the child, then have a few more babies and let the mother enjoy the whole world.
In short, everything that is good and other people's mothers have, you arrange for your mother, so that your mother can become the happiest mother in the community and the brightest mother in the circle of friends.
In addition, you can consider having a few more children, stone mother likes her children to go around the knees, let her enjoy the joy of the world.
So happy, your family is very happy, the daughter is filial piety, the son-in-law knows how to be grateful, the mother loves the child and does not ask for anything in return, and it is a blessing for the whole family to have such a stone mother in the family. I wish you a smooth pregnancy, and I wish your aunt good health, family and harmony.
Question 5
(Source of the title of this issue)
Keywords: improve cloth sex
Hello doll sister and little assistants, now I have a puzzle, I hope to have the honor to get your answer, thank you very much.
My husband's family is better than mine, his own ability is strong, the annual income is millions, it should be a cut cloth. The mother-in-law is also cloth, and the father-in-law should be a stone shear. I'm probably 2 points taller than my husband. Logically, such a family should pay more attention to the shearing or stone nature of the daughter-in-law, why do they all want me to improve the cloth sex?
My current job is unstable, there is no establishment, they want me to manage the hotel in the house, or to study medicine with my mother, to study medicine to study, but also to study, it is more difficult. I don't want to do it in my heart, I just want to find a lighter job, take the baby to work, and keep the Mv low pu, but they seem to care about the fact that I don't have a formal job, why is this so? What do I do to be the optimal solution?
Since your husband is a cloth-cutting man, then his official match is a cloth woman, but you are obviously more than stone, and the cloth sex is insufficient, it is no wonder that your husband's family will have cloth requirements for you.
You also have a big misconception about our system, can be called a guy who cuts cloth, at least the appearance is cut to the upper middle, right? Don't you have a medium? Born beautiful is difficult to give up, please ask which live internet celebrity model are you? Nothing. Mention the unstable work without preparation and mention the work, indicating that it is a vegetarian, so the outer cut is only flat, where can it go? Is it really worthy of a boy whose family is better than yours and has a hotel with a hotel income of millions of dollars a year? You didn't attach a photo, and I felt dangling.
The in-laws' requirements for your sexuality do not mean that you must make a lot of money, but are reflected in several aspects, either your original family has a certain help to your small family, or you have a high enough education, or you can make a certain contribution to the family business. If you were a Ph.D. from Stanford, they wouldn't be so demanding of you. But isn't that harder?
Therefore, they want you to manage the hotel at home, or study medicine, and then take a step back to have a formal and stable job, and they want you to make a cloth stone, that is, a cloth stone. I think this requirement is not high for such a family.
It's no surprise that your mother-in-law loves cloth stones. After all, you are not the pillow person of your mother-in-law, and no matter how strong your scissors are, it has little to do with her. But if you have a strong stone nature, and you can run a good home, take care of the children, give her a hand, let her enjoy the joy of the world, and manage the hotel in the house, bring actual benefits, or study medicine and contribute to the health of her family, she will benefit a lot.
The family you marry into is a family with high parental investment, the husband is well-off, his own ability is also strong, it is still easier to get the other party's parenting investment according to the meaning of the mother-in-law, your husband's core is cloth, even if he earns more, he also relies more on his mother financially. It is better to listen to the mother-in-law, maintain the foundation of their own advantages, and then improve the cloth.