For 24 hours a day, the times when you didn't explicitly say you loved me didn't love me.
Normal love is like this: after determining the relationship, you don't have to say I love you 24 hours a day, and both people can tacitly agree that they are in love with each other. But people with anxious attachment will always need affirmation, response, and companionship, and if the partner does not have such actions or words, they will feel panicked, anxious, and assume that the other party is alienating themselves.
As a result, they are prone to overreact to their partner's behavior.
- There is no second return, is it chatting with other people? The conversation mood is very flat, are you tired of me? If my personality wasn't as good as he thought, wouldn't he leave me?
People with anxious attachments, most of the time in love, are wrestling with their own psychology, and the time spent on mental attrition and false temptation is far greater than the time to truly accept their partners and experience emotional flow.
Most of this anxiety occurs because of relationship problems with parents in early years.
Parents often ignore their children, praise and smile at their children when they are in a good mood, and ignore and ignore them when they are in a bad mood.
Children who grow up in this environment have a very excessive desire to be loved, and they do not experience the permanence of love, and they will often be uneasy after falling in love, and they will use temptation and behavior to test their partner's bottom line and confirm that their partner will not be like their parents to themselves.
In order to determine the relationship, it is constantly tempted, but it is precisely the constant temptation that destroys the relationship with his own hands.
In the eyes of the partner, such an object is particularly "made", they do not know how to make the object feel safe, obviously have worked hard to prove themselves, but have been suspected, attacked and accused, at the beginning will be used to coax, gradually will feel tired, will say "you love to think so I can't help."
At this time, you will feel that he has changed, he is indeed not reliable, he will feel that it may be better to calm down, the contradiction is getting bigger and bigger, and finally come to break up and divorce.
In fact, anxious attachment is not immutable in adulthood.
This insecurity, through the adjustment of communication in intimate relationships, can be improved, for example, adjusting one's expectations of love, not always by watching the action to determine, but to let down some guard, to really experience how he loves you.
In addition, it is to adjust the communication mode, through behavioral changes, to increase the certainty in the relationship, when you learn how to love a person, how to rest assured of a person, the relationship can be more stable, change your attachment anxiety.