We must eat marriage as a meal and love as a snack.
When a woman reaches middle age, she often does not want to toss herself anymore, thinking that she has finally become a Buddhist, but in fact, she does not want to spend money indiscriminately.
When they see the heroines in the TV series all kinds of works, all kinds of pretense, they will laugh twice, and they have long forgotten that they were also a flirtatious little girl.
Once she had a quarrel with her boyfriend, she would resolutely say: "Don't say anything, break up"; when the leader wears small shoes, she slaps her big hand: "There is no one here, there is a place to keep people." Grandma was still afraid of not being able to find a job and resigned. ”。
However, when women gradually grow older, most of them no longer dare to be so pretentious.
01
I am particularly touched by this sentence: what maintains the feelings between middle-aged couples is not love, but family affection.
At home, the husband has long been without the attentive energy when he first chased himself, thinking that when he was chased, but sitting on the master who was waited for, hungry someone brought food, thirsty someone poured water, bored with someone to accompany, sometimes you can also lie to the child, that is really a fairy-like life.
Now after getting married, he has become a waiter, and the one who once gave great service to himself has become a great uncle who lies and enjoys happiness.
The rice is made by yourself, the bowl is brushed by yourself, the baby is brought by herself, and now there is nothing.
I can't help but sigh: "I shouldn't have been deceived by this rhetoric and courtesy trick of the past, but now that I'm married, I will be exposed." ”
Passion has long been washed away by time, from newlyweds to old husbands and wives, knowing that blandness is the essence of life.
The one next to the pillow, when he slept, the purring sound was still loud, but he couldn't hear it one day, but he slept less comfortably.
After buying new clothes and wearing them for him to see, he is not concerned about whether they fit or not, whether they look good or not, but how your waist has become so thick.
Life is going to be like this all the time, sooner or later it will be over.
Fortunately, he still has a conscience, my parents are sick, he is always busy around me, there is something going on at home, he will be the first to accompany him.
Although sometimes we look at each other with disgust, we always quarrel with each other reluctantly.
After many years of marriage, women will no longer have much pretentious thoughts.
One is not worth it, so many years later, that elm knot has not guessed a few times, but in vain to provoke themselves to be angry; the second is that there is no energy, a lot of things need to be busy, who has the heart to be pretentious.
Marriage and love are different, love is the wind and snow of two people, marriage is more of a chicken, temperament can only make your life more chicken feathers.
As Lin Yutang said: "There is no way to live a marriage in the way of love that does not fail." We must eat marriage as a meal and love as a snack. ”
02
Now, young people who have just entered the society may resign because they have been wronged, and when they meet leaders who cannot be met, they are not afraid of tearing up.
Looking at these young people, the middle-aged woman's mood is very complicated.
When the moment before work, just finished the work, ready to go home.
As a result, the boss suddenly came out and said, "You made this report into a PPT and gave it to me before work." ”
"Set up work before work? Make no mistake! What a silly X! Although they wanted to say it, their mouths had naturally replied, "Okay, I'll do it right away." ”
For the grievances they have suffered at work, they can endure, and they can not change their faces and their hearts do not beat, but their inner complaints are not many.
They are seniors in the workplace, and they are even a small middle-level leader.
Looking at the unattainable high-level, and then looking at the young people below who are eager to try and are ready to take the position at any time, their hearts often float a trace of anxiety.
Under the dual pressure of family and work, they became Buddhist employees.
In the past, their eyes could not tolerate sand, the leaders had low IQ, dared to go back, the subordinates did poor things, they should be scolded and punished, and they were never soft.
But now, even if the leader makes the most unreasonable demands, even if the subordinates are unfavorable, they don't want to care.
As long as the money is in place, anything is easy to say.
For them, resignation is rarely considered unless a lower home with a higher salary has been found.
After all, the house, the car and the children have to spend money, and they can't just take their bags and leave.
"The world is so big, I want to see it." Which woman does not want to go to see, but for middle-aged women who have a family and a room, this is often a luxury.
03
Middle-aged people have a baby, and they will not be pretentious.
Since becoming an old mother, my life of sorrow and joy has begun.
What kind of milk powder should the child drink, what kind of diaper should be used, what kind of vaccine should be taken... In order to take care of the child, it is almost possible to cut the old mother's hair in half.
Take the baby during the day and take the baby at night, 24 hours a day, the child must be busy when he wakes up, and the child has time to be busy when he sleeps.
Two days ago, I also saw a news, a 27-year-old second-born mother, playing mobile phone at night suddenly died, many people blame her for staying up late to play mobile phones, but I have a relationship.
Those of you who have never had a child will know how tired it is to have a baby, and you will not understand how precious the night after the child sleeps.
And after giving birth, the woman had to admit the tragic fact that she was no longer young.
In the face of increasingly thick thighs, gradually bulging belly, and the bleak face of taking care of children at night who did not sleep well, they sighed countless times.
I used to fantasize that when I had a child, I not only had to lose weight quickly and restore my fashionable temperament, but also dress up my child well.
Now it's good to be able to get a good night's sleep and be satisfied, and I don't have the arrogance to tinker with myself.
Before giving birth to a baby, they were all sindy, mary, and lily, and after giving birth to a baby, they all became Cheng Mama, Guo Mama, and Zhuang Mama.
The child gradually grew up and began to go to school.
They feel that they can't let their children fall into the pit they fell into in the year, so they pay extra attention to their children's learning, personally tutor, and always feel that even if they don't take the Tsinghua Peking University, they have to take the Fudan exam.
However, as the child begins to go to school, I can't help but wonder, is this child born by himself?
After graduating from a famous school, how can the child be so stupid. Is it that the child's genes are not good, it must be the husband's genes are not good, I already knew this, I should have found a bully to be a husband.
But this child is also his own child, and now, he can only comfort himself, no illness or disaster, stupid people have stupid blessings.
The child's rebellious period came, became a smooth donkey, he could only follow him, he made a mistake, and he could only say two words in a roundabout way, afraid that the child would doubt his life without a word, and began to feel that teaching children was more tiring than going to work.
Do you still want to be pretentious now?
Don't think about it, tired.
04
Middle-aged women do not dare to be pretentious, does not mean that they do not love life, do not love their families, they are just more pragmatic.
They dare not be more pretentious in order to reduce the useless decorations in life, and to better guard their families and accompany their children.
Many men feel that once a woman gets married and has children, she will lose her spirituality, and Baoyu has a passage in "Dream of the Red Chamber":
"A girl is not married, she is a priceless jewel; when she is married, she somehow conjures up many bad problems, although it is a bead, it has no glorious treasure color, it is a dead pearl; when she is older, it is not a bead, but a fish eye."
He forgot that middle-aged women have to take care of work, family, children, every care can make people exhausted, where there is the heart to be temperamental, the little woman's mannerisms have long been put in the trash can.
Temperament is that you can't live with yourself, and life is of course a little easier.