Every woman who enters into marriage longs for a happy life, but when she finds that her marriage is unhappy, she says that she has not married a good man and is not as good as others.
Admittedly, marrying a good man will increase the odds of happiness, but it is still related to your own choices.
Lin Yutang said: "The problem of modern people is that they eat love as a meal, eat marriage as a snack, and live a marriage in the way of love. ”
Many women in marriage are using love to ask men, but want men to accept the constraints of marriage, which will only make women disappointed in marriage and disappointed in the men they love.
Because marriage should be like Lin Yutang said: "Eat marriage as a meal, and eat love as a snack." ”
Love is one thing, marriage is another thing, and it is unrealistic to still want to live in love in marriage.
Those women who are happy in marriage have long seen that the essence of marriage is not love, and are responsible for their own lives, so that they have a happy life that others envy.
Women in marriage fortunate and unhappy, mainly look at three things, and men have nothing to do with it.
Whether or not to learn to please yourself.
Many women are unfortunate in marriage, they are punishing themselves with men's "mistakes", feeling that men should be responsible for their own lives or emotions, and it should be his obligation to accompany and make themselves happy.
In marriage, it is like a woman waiting to be pampered, as long as the man does not meet his psychological expectations, he thinks that the man does not love himself, and all kinds of noise want to arouse the attention of men, but make men disgusted, resulting in tension in the relationship between husband and wife.
Some men betray marriage and wives, men are leisurely, but women are crying and torturing themselves, paying for men's mistakes, not thinking of finding a way for the rest of their lives, and finally sinking in pain.
Nietzsche said in The Other Side of Good and Evil: "If you fight with a dragon for too long, you will become a dragon yourself." Stare into the abyss for too long, and the abyss will stare back. ”
When women understand that their joys and sorrows are only their responsibility, even if they fall into pain or misfortune, they can choose to please themselves and find ways to make themselves happy, and they can make themselves happy.
Women who know how to please themselves will not look at problems one-sidedly in marriage, but will think comprehensively and make the most beneficial choices for themselves. If you don't have a choice, then enjoy the present life under limited conditions, as long as you are happy.
Of course, instead of basing one's happiness on the pain of men, it is warm to the sun, always pursuing the light, and not allowing oneself to live in the shadow of pain.
Whether to find their own "value".
Many unhappy women in marriage often do not find their own value, but they are eager to be recognized and seen by men.
Such a woman who has lost herself does not recognize herself, and forcing men's approval is to seek her own suffering.
If a woman only knows how to give for the family and the man in marriage, through this form to increase their confidence or in exchange for the happiness they want, it will not get what they want.
Because women do not have their own "chips", can not control the happiness they want, rely on paying in exchange for the love they want, or rely on men's giving, it is undoubtedly to deliver their happiness to men.
Relying on men to give you a sense of value is unreliable. Women can only find their own sense of worth on their own.
In a happy married life, it must be two-way satisfaction.
Only if you have value yourself first, can you get closer to what you want, and can give men what they want, and men will take things back to you.
After he sees your "value", he will decide what kind of attitude to treat you, which is completely his spontaneous behavior, without your ears.
This value is a woman's ability to settle down, the courage to walk in the world, and the intrinsic value.
It can make women live more and more transparently, see themselves more clearly, do not look up or down on themselves, but believe in their own ability.
Have the ability to deal with the problem.
The most important thing for a woman to be fortunate or unhappy in marriage is to see her ability to deal with problems.
Some women even if they have a bad life in marriage, but she will deal with problems and seek a way out for herself, unfortunate is only a period of time, and will not let herself be unhappy all the time.
And those women who have been unhappy in marriage are not able to deal with problems, panic in the face of problems, always thinking that others can save themselves from water and fire, waiting until others point out the way out and do not act, and repeat the cycle, again and again to give men the right to hurt themselves.
The ability to deal with problems in marriage, to put it bluntly, is the ability to get along well and at a level with the other half.
Such a woman has the ability to perceive herself, the ability to perceive the other person, and the ability to perceive the development of problems between each other.
Such a woman is very good at promoting her own value, and will show her own value, so that men realize her preciousness, so that they dare not neglect her.
When problems are encountered, they will be dealt with in an appropriate and win-win way, rather than an either-or theory of right and wrong.
We can really solve the problem and seek a balance and good development of the relationship.
After women see through the essence of marriage, they will find that the happiness and misfortune in marriage are completely related to their own value and ability.
The reason why women feel that men have always made themselves unhappy is nothing more than too much emphasis on men, neglecting the pleasure of pleasing themselves, finding their own value, and unable to deal with problems.
When a woman understands that in marriage, the other half will not be unconditionally good to herself because she loves herself, she will take precautions to enhance her own value.
Only by having the "chips" to deter the other half can you take what you need in this relationship, get what you want, love and hate as you like, and stay at will!
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