Text/Summer
01. Preface
Years, quietly took away the lush youth, took away the courage of middle age. It seems that the future and taste the sweet and sour of this world, in the blink of an eye, people will be old.
Lin Yutang said: "A natural person loves his children, and a cultured person loves his parents." ”
When you are young, life is not easy, and you have spent a lifetime trying to pull your children up. However, when I get older, I find that not all children love their parents.
Especially for families with many children. Many people envy that in their old age, their children and grandchildren are full of halls, and they are a scene of happiness and harmony.
However, in the old age, parents who have many children will feel that they have worked hard for their children all their lives and are not as happy as they think.
People are old, have many children, but they live very tired, for three reasons.
02, there are many children, more worries about the elderly
When people get along with each other, there will be a psychology of comparison, and the same is true between brothers and sisters.
People are old, have many children, and they have comparisons because their ability to make money is different and their knowledge is different.
In the TV series "Emergency Department Doctor", there is a big mother who is very uncomfortable and is sent to the emergency room of the hospital by her daughter.
Two sons and two daughters came to the ward, both clamoring "busy, what can't be said on the phone", and none of them really worried about their mother.
The eldest son said that the mother was helping the younger daughter, so if she was sick, she should also manage the younger daughter.
The two daughters said that there was an eldest son in the family, and no matter what went wrong with the mother, the eldest son should be responsible.
The four of them quarreled not far from their mother, and these words were heard by the mother, and the old man was very cold and heartbroken.
The four children have been arguing that whoever the mother pays more for should take the medical expenses, along with the patients and doctors in the ward.
If there are more children, it is inevitable that there will be comparisons and calculations.
Counting on who the parents pay more for and who takes care of the family a little more, these have become "heart diseases" between children.
The economic conditions are different between each child, and the specific family situation is also different, so it is difficult to cultivate parents in a completely consistent manner, as well as to bear the parents' pension expenses and medical expenses.
The more children, the more calculations, and the more troubles of the elderly. Because it is difficult for children to unite and love each other, it is difficult to treat the elderly with kindness.
03, there are many children, and the pension has become a problem
In families with many children, the problem of old-age care is often very serious, because no one is willing to pay a little more.
In the TV series "All Is Good", after the death of the mother, the father's pension problem has become a problem.
The daughter is treated differently by her parents from an early age, and her parents "prefer sons over daughters"; the eldest lives in the United States for many years and cannot take care of her father; and the second has the most difficult life, but the father does not want to live with him the most.
There are more children, and the pension has become a problem, because on the way to the growth of children, it is difficult for parents to achieve "a bowl of water flat". When parents are old, it is difficult for children to treat their parents equally.
In families with many children, the economic situation of each family is different, and it is possible that no one wants to be the one who "suffers losses".
If there are more children, it will push the problem of parents' pension back and forth.
Younger children will say that the older son has an obligation to support his parents. If there are children and daughters, the daughter will say that the child is raised to prevent old age, and the son has the obligation to take care of the parents.
Therefore, in many families, there are many children, but no one is willing to care about the situation of the elderly. The old man can only rely on his own meager strength and live a difficult life.
When I get old, I find that having more children is not necessarily more blessed, and only by educating my children well can we get more blessings in our old age.
04, there are many children, afraid of a bowl of water uneven
People are old, and for families with many children, the elderly will also live a very stressful life. Because, afraid of a bowl of water uneven, let the children quarrel between each other, there is a contradiction.
Lin Yutang said: "There are only four things in life happiness: First, sleeping in a bed at home. The second is to eat meals made by parents. The third is to listen to your lover talk to you. The fourth is to play games with children. ”
Many parents are afraid not of giving everything themselves, but of the disunity between their children.
Fear that children will fight among themselves because of the uneven love and resources they receive from their parents. Therefore, many parents, when they are old, will still rack their brains and try to get the same treatment for each child.
Therefore, many parents are old, live carefully, afraid that saying the wrong word and doing the wrong thing will destroy the harmony of the extended family.
What parents hope is that every child can get a happy life.
At the same time, I also hope that when I am getting old, every child can also know how to be grateful, and can take some time out of the busy situation to talk with their parents and have a meal together.
The family can get along harmoniously, the brothers and sisters are united, and they are willing to be filial to their parents, hoping that their parents can have a better old age.
05. Summary
When people are old, they still have to rely on themselves. Be kind to yourself at all times.
Yishu said: "Life is only a few decades, the most important thing is to satisfy yourself, not to please others. ”
People are old, their energy is limited, don't put all your time and energy on your children, you should plan for your future.
Don't expect anyone to come and give you a pension and plan your old age. Protect your body and allow yourself to have a full and rich spiritual life.
At the same time, you don't have to rely too much on your children and leave yourself with plenty of savings.
If you are still young and not yet old, please give your young children a good education so that they know how to be grateful and know filial piety.
For adult children, we must learn to let go and pay more attention to our own lives in order to obtain more happiness.
When people are old, they should pay more attention to education and pay attention to the planning of their own lives.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the Internet, a happy woman manager, who has focused on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.