Some of my wife's confused behaviors still make me very confused. Saying that my wife is frugal, when I accompany her shopping, more than 30,000 outsourcing, and I don't even blink my eyes when I swipe my card. I said that my wife lost the family, but when she bought vegetables, because she saved three cents, she talked to the buyer for half a day. Later, I finally understood. The winner depends on whose money she takes!
2, a colleague monkey figure, but his girlfriend is relatively fat. Just a few buddies joked about how he had found someone who didn't match his figure so much. As a result, this cargo said: You know a fart! When it is hot, I can cool off in her back, when it is cold, I can warm up in her arms, she can help me block the wind when it blows, and when it rains, she can also help me block the rain, the key is that the New Year is not bad meat.
3, this time I actually left the school for more than three months, no one expected that this holiday was so long!! You must have had something in your dorm room with a big grin before you got home from vacation, but now... Let's talk about what worries you the most about the school dormitory hahahahaha!
4, just recognized the wrong person on the road, slammed the uncle's shoulder, shouted: "Uncle"! The man looked back blankly, so embarrassed that there was a wood... Fortunately, I quickly covered my chest and fell to the ground and continued, save me... Help me...
5, niece in Hainan study, yesterday began to take a holiday today by plane to my home (Nanjing). The airport picked her up, her upper body was a single jacket with a short-sleeved T-shirt, and a pair of cropped jeans on the lower body, shivering in the cold wind! On the way to the supermarket to buy clothes, she told me that it was cold here, and that she had put on all the thickest clothes and pants...
6. When junior high school, it is stipulated that the school uniform should be worn when raising the national flag, and as a result, there are always some people who do not wear school uniforms or wear pants or clothes alone. Then before each flag raising, the principal took a loudspeaker and said, "Some students don't wear clothes, some students don't wear pants, and some don't wear pants at all." ”
7, a brother went home after a month on a business trip and his daughter-in-law was like a newlywed can hand over the gun in half a minute. Daughter-in-law fury Nyima still has something hard? The buddies silently took out the socks that had been worn for more than a month and stood up on the table.
8, a beautiful woman in the teacher when the question, enthusiastically raised her hand, the teacher told her to stand up to answer the question, she answered halfway, found that her thinking was wrong, can not answer, just swallowed up. At this critical juncture, Wu Lao'er, who was at the same table, handed a note to her, and she seemed to feel that there was finally a hero to save the United States, and her eyes glanced at the note, which read: You are doomed!
9. After work in the evening, several colleagues made an appointment to go to a colleague's house to play mahjong. The brothers asked him: Is your daughter-in-law really not angry when she comes home? He said with a look of fearlessness: It's not me bragging, Lao Tzu is a tiger at home. Suddenly there was movement at the door, and he hurried to collect mahjong. We said: Aren't you a tiger? I didn't expect these two goods to say: Isn't this the tiger coming back, fast...
10, I took out the latest mobile phone and made a call: "Mom, I have a Ferrari 488." Mom: "Say, how much is it?" Me: "Hey hey! Not much, just 680,000. The mother said at that end: "Husband, our son saw a Ferrari 488, and you are now turning 680,000." The other side said: "Let him call me Dad, I will transfer 1 million to her." I yelled at the phone, "You're as old as I am, and you want me to call you Dad, Dream!" ”
1 Once and a few friends are eating snacks, bite two bites of the feeling is not delicious, hand handed to the husband, the husband said delicious. Friends make fun of my delicious things and "pour" them on my husband. Who knew that her husband laughed next to him: "I think it's delicious when she thinks it's not delicious, and I haven't eaten it yet."
12, a person travels away to go to college! One night I called: Mom, my mobile phone card is broken, if you want me, call my new number, you find a note to write down my new number! As a result, the old mother said calmly on the other end of the phone: I have never remembered the old number, if there is something you call me, I don't remember you, I am looking for you, and I don't want you.
13. Once the class teacher wanted the children to know the harm of smoking and drinking to the body, so the teacher caught a lot of big green worms. The teacher's bar green worms were packed in two large open bottles, and the teacher poured liquor in one bottle, and all the big green worms died. Then the teacher threw a lot of lit cigarettes into another bottle, and the big green worm naturally died out. At this time, the teacher asked: "Students, who can tell me the benefits or harms of smoking and drinking" A child immediately stood up and said: Teacher, smoking and drinking will not make our stomachs grow bugs.
14. The old man who was a professor in the history department of 985 University especially liked to collect. He often went to the countryside to pick up leaks, and if he was lucky, he could make millions. That time, the old man went to the countryside to pan for gold, and saw an old man smoking a dry cigarette under a tree, and he wanted to try his luck. Old man: "Dude, do you have old things in your house?" The old man thought for a moment and said, "Yes, do you want any old things?" The old man: "That's right, the older things are, the more valuable they are, what do you have in your family?" The old man smiled and said, "Old lady." ”
![People who like to watch martial arts know that the heroes are all high-minded and lonely, and only the chicken and dog thieves need to form gangs. For example, my favorite hero, Fu Hongxue, has always been alone[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)