1, the local tycoon with the wife for the first time back to the countryside hometown, the lady on the road urinated urgently, let the local tycoon give himself the wind, the wife went to the field to relieve. As soon as he came out and met the eldest master, he asked the lady, "Big sister, you are."

1, the local tycoon with the wife for the first time back to the countryside hometown, the lady on the road urinated urgently, let the local tycoon give himself the wind, the wife went to the field to relieve. As soon as he came out and met the eldest master, he asked his wife, "Big sister, are you from our village?" Madame was particularly embarrassed, but fortunately the local tycoon came over, and Madame asked him who this uncle was? The local tycoon took one look at it and said, "This grandson who doesn't know!" Madame pulled his clothes and made him speak more politely. Unexpectedly, the uncle saw the local tycoon and actually greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, are you home?" ”

2. Last week, an old colleague from my dad's unit came to my house for dinner. After drinking and eating, he stared at me for a moment and said, "Do you know that I saved your life?" I was puzzled, he pondered a little, said: "When your mother was pregnant, your father borrowed money from me to say that the fetus was beaten, I did not borrow it, and you had an accident in a few months." I said busily, "Thank you uncle for saving your life." ”

3. When the high-speed rail checks in, I immediately run to the carriage behind me. The attendant chased me for 5 cars. Her: "What about tickets?" Take it out and I'll check it out! I pulled out my ticket for her to check, and she was furious: "What do you run with a ticket?" Me: "Can't you run if you have a ticket?" I didn't ask you to chase me, I just wanted to experience the feeling of not being chased by a girl for 30 years! ”

4, recently, the mother reached the age of follow-up, like a bomb unstable, said angry is angry. So, every time I come home, I'll shout at the door first: "Dear mother, I'm back." "If you hear," the good boy is back, "I'll go in." If you hear "Do you still know to come back?" "I turned my head and ran, going anywhere safer than home.

5. My brother-in-law drank too much, and when he got home, he got into a fight with his daughter-in-law and slapped him. His father also gave him a slap when he saw it. A friend kicked his dad down: You think it was when you were a child? That's when I really couldn't beat you, now it's different! Our brothers saw him and knocked him down. His dad: I've had a dog for twenty years and won't bite me, so a few of you hold him down for me and watch me break his leg today! Pulling out the belt towards the ass is a few clicks: go, tie me to the tree! That night, friends snorted one night...?

6, today there is something to leave the company, so borrowed a colleague's motorcycle, riding up I found that his rearview mirror is high and low, obsessive-compulsive disorder I broke the direction of his. Later, I mentioned this matter to my colleagues, and my colleagues said: The mirror on the left side of the rearview mirror is good to see the road, and the right mirror is used to see the hairstyle!?

7. After graduating from high school, my girlfriend went to work as a high-speed rail attendant, and because she was beautiful, she was soon promoted to purser, with a monthly salary of 100,000. When I first fell in love, my girlfriend was hurt by the scumbag, so she never fell in love. This weekend my girlfriend paid her salary and pulled me to accompany her to the movies. Her taste is really unique now, people watch a movie to buy a melon popcorn or something, she holds two large boxes of stinky tofu to eat, a movie theater people are all there to find who to take off their shoes, too humiliating.

8, the cousin bought a color drift planted 1 million, and then quit his job and used the money to open a restaurant. During the break at noon today, I went to my cousin's shop for dinner. I found out he was organizing a food contest for employees. After he organized the competition and invited me to dinner, I asked him curiously: "Your recent business is not very good, you don't use your brains in business, and you still have the heart to engage in entertainment activities?" He said, "Brother, you don't understand, I'm here to save costs." Curious, I asked, "How can you save money like this?" He said, "Tell you the truth, I'm planning to lay off employees in the past two days, and today I'm just trying to figure out who is drunk!" ”

9. My father-in-law had a ligature five years ago, and my mother-in-law was still pregnant. This made the father-in-law very depressed, and finally slowly evolved into a depressive evidence. The mother-in-law was afraid that her father-in-law would not want to open, so she took him to see a psychologist, and the medicine could not be relieved. Later, by chance, he adopted a husky. Every day, the father-in-law shouted and angrily chased the husky around the yard with a stick. As a result, a few months later, the mother-in-law took her father-in-law to check and found that the father-in-law's depression certificate was already good...

10. One day I said to my little nephew: You failed this exam, so I will send you three books. First read your brother's book "Eloquence" and try to persuade your father not to hit you. Can't be convinced, hurry up and watch the second "Dash". If you don't run away, you'll have to read the third book. Nephew: What is the third book? Teacher: The Surgeon.

11, the rich accompanied his girlfriend to a 4S store to buy a car, the rich man saw that Lali was so cheap, decisively took out 1,000 yuan to the sales hall table: "I buy a Ferrari." The sales girl was shocked: "Sir, you are really joking, this little money down payment is not enough." The rich man said: "Isn't it written Ferrari 599 outside?" The sales girl said: "Well, you go out and go forward, the company's BMW is still 520!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #