1, and the boss lady on a business trip, after returning to the boss lady pregnant, ? fired me, I was immediately angry, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were fired, I said

1, and the boss lady on a business trip, after returning to the boss lady pregnant, ? fired me, I was immediately angry, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were expelled, I said I don't know, didn't I buy milk powder for the child? The hostess said no, why do others send you a happy one next time? After saying that, he threw the beer lid on my head. Heck, how do people now know that this is power. There was no way but to look for a job. Find a factory, the security guard will not let in, there is no way but to say to the security guard: I came to find the daughter-in-law, the security guard said: Who is your daughter-in-law, say the name I am sure, just next to the list of excellent employees in the factory, I casually read a xxx. Then the security guard took the baton and began to beat me: She is my daughter-in-law, what is your relationship with my daughter-in-law. Then I was kicked out.

2, today met a touch porcelain old lady, hard to say that I hit, I was anxious, took out the Apple 12 mobile phone and said: "Dad, give me 10 million, I want to kill an old lady." The old lady got up and said, "Riding a shared bicycle, you are also rich and handsome!" He also slapped me. So I calmly lay down.

3, noon ran to the female colleague's seat to chat, the rise of the chat, a moment of excitement, accidentally put her on the table of the mobile phone to the ground, picked up found that the screen has been broken, thinking that this is over, I quickly apologized to the female colleague: sorry, I, I did not mean, I lost one to you. The female colleague looked at the broken mobile phone and said: Broken is broken, it is a big deal to buy a new one. I was secretly happy in my heart, but fortunately the female colleague was not angry. The female colleague went on to say: If you have this heart, just pay me yourself, I don't lack a mobile phone, I lack a boyfriend, you think about it clearly, otherwise you will lose money. Emma, isn't this embarrassing for me, I immediately fell into contemplation, and then I came back to think about it, just sacrifice myself.

4. The teacher called my father, I answered, the teacher said: "Congratulations on your 99 points!" I hung up the phone and pretended to be sad: "Dad, I failed the test!" "Dad was angry and looking for sticks everywhere, and I watched the prank succeed, and I was overjoyed, planning to tell the truth. Then the phone rang again, and it was the teacher: "I'm sorry, you are actually 49 points, Happy April Fool's Day!" ”

5, in high school, there was a girl in the class who had been admired for a long time, simply the goddess in my mind, one day she asked me to borrow money, and promised me that she would pay it back, but I was still hesitant. The goddess asked: What are the worries? I said: My mother said that the more beautiful the woman, the more she can't believe it. As a result, the goddess said: You believe your mother's words so much, it seems that your mother's appearance is really not ordinary.

6. In the afternoon, Fu Er Dai went to the supermarket with his wife to buy beef, and saw the staff of three squirrels distributing ten yuan vouchers. Fu Er Dai took one, and his wife also reached out to get it. The staff member said, "No, you two know each other, you can only get one." "My wife was very unconvinced, and I was afraid that she would quarrel, so I rushed to tell her about it." As a result, the wife looked at Fu Er Dai and said, "Uncle, who are you?" Do we know each other? Fu Er Dai could only shake his head and say, "I don't know, I don't know!" ”

7, this day my cousin suddenly asked me: "Brother, you are not young, I have a girlfriend, people are very gentle and have never talked about love and look beautiful, or I will introduce you to it?" I said, "Old sister, didn't you say before that I couldn't beat your girlfriend's crooked idea?" The cousin said with a look of chagrin: "This slut, who owes me money and does not pay it back, I let her marry a man who is lazy and hungry and has many problems, it is better to live than to die!" "I'm speechless!

8. After work at night, I watched a Rolls-Royce parked in front of the company. I got in the car decisively, and we arrived at a pot shop. After that, suddenly I didn't want to eat, so I went to the driver and said: Honey, let's go to the barbecue! Driver: Wife, we are all here, how do you want to eat barbecue again, how can you have an idea for a while! Me: Whoever has an idea for a while, this idea has been thinking about for a long time!

9. After three years of hard study, I was finally admitted to the prestigious university of my dreams. But the classmates around me always looked at me differently. Later, I couldn't help but complain to my father: I blame you! Students all took the subway to school! And I'm driving a Rolls-Royce, do you know what my classmates think of me? Dad was very helpless, trembling in his voice and said to me: Child, it is Dad who is sorry for you, Dad promised you, next month will definitely buy you a subway.

10. When a prisoner is about to be executed, the executioner suddenly runs up to the prisoner and whispers, "Brother, can I ask you something?" The prisoner said, "What's the matter, do you want me to give a word to your dead relative?" Policeman: "No, no, no, your brother before me has already done this for me!" This time it was like this, I forgot to wear contact lenses, and when the gun is fired, please aim your head at the muzzle of the gun! ”。。。。 (The story takes place abroad)

11. The husband is going to marry his girlfriend who just graduated from college for the second time, and he went to his house early this morning to give gifts. As a result, when I went downstairs, I saw that the brand new Huiteng was painted in a mess. But it was a great pleasure to see the children playing, and I was happy for them. Because the car is broken, it can be repaired, and there are not many opportunities to paint crows on the car in childhood. On Children's Day, children's happiness is the most important! So, I didn't say anything. After all, the car is not mine, and the child is not mine.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #