I want to buy a car! My dad said there was no money! Me: "Don't lie to me! I don't want to be too good! A hundred thousand will do. My dad said, "The car can afford it!" But buy the car! There's a lot more to come

I want to buy a car! My dad said there was no money! Me: "Don't lie to me! I don't want to be too good! A hundred thousand will do. My dad said, "The car can afford it!" But buy the car! There's a lot of money to spend on. Me: "Rest assured! Insurance, maintenance of the car I absolutely do not want your money! I raise it myself. My dad: "I'm not saying this!" I mean! On your technology! In case you hit a luxury car or run into a grandmother..."

2, Xiaoli said, "Boyfriend does not take the initiative to contact me for a month or two, is it a few meanings?" One of her friends said, "Everyone answered too darkly, what a split leg change heart has never loved you or anything like that, everything should be thought of in a good way." I guess your boyfriend is supposed to be dead. ”

3. As soon as the nephew's final results come out! Sister-in-law taught her nephew: 55 points in language! Math 58 points! Such a simple problem can be passed even if it is a mongolian! I'm about to start beating! The brother advised his sister-in-law: Think of everything in a good way! The scores of the two subjects are about the same! At least not partial!

4, the nephew's final results came out, the sister-in-law taught the nephew: 55 points in Chinese, 58 points in mathematics, such a simple problem even if the Monte can be passed, is about to start beating, the brother advised the sister-in-law: Everything should be in a good way, the score of the two subjects is almost the same, at least not partial to the subject!

5, yesterday back to my mother's house, I didn't know how to talk about the genus. The old mother said: "The genus is still quite accurate, for example, your father belongs to the sheep, and has a gentle temper; I belong to the pig and love to eat and sleep; my uncle belongs to the horse, has a quick temper, and everything must be taken a step ahead." I rolled my eyes at him, "No, everything is fast!" The husband was anxious: "Hello, you belong to the river crab, and your leg hair is heavier than mine!" "I...

6, Fa Xiao bought a car, in order to prevent other cars from rear-ending, posted a "don't kiss me" sign behind the new car. Unexpectedly, as soon as I got on the road, I was hit by another car! A little angry to ask the other party for 500 yuan repair fee, the other party said: "Just wipe off a piece of paint, you want 500 pieces, too cruel, right?" "Too fierce?" Fa Xiao pointed to the sign and said, "This is the 'first kiss', of course, the fee is higher!" ”

7, the little uncle took the money of the father-in-law's pension to buy a modern famous map, and drove this car every day to run Didi! Last night, the little uncle came to a girl in her 20s. The sister asked the little uncle how much money he needed to get to the place, and the little brother-in-law told her that Didi showed that the mileage was 10 yuan. The girl said that she only had 8 yuan, and the little uncle saw that the sister looked beautiful and agreed. On the way, the girl weakly asked: You can't be a bad person, right? The little uncle was stunned for a moment, and then said weakly: You are the bad guy, so late to give me 8 yuan.

8, a white Fumei likes a strong boy living in the countryside, after the two live together, there are many contradictions, Bai Fumei proposed to break up. The boy refused, Bai Fumei roared: You want a car without a car, you want a house without a house, you want money without money, you have no appearance and no height, what do you take to tie me up? The boy's face was calm, and the cloud lightly replied: Dog chain!

9, there is a man is dying, in the ward, he said to the wife: I want to meet my lover. His daughter-in-law called her lover, and when she saw her, he cried, saying that she was most sorry in this life, and that she could not be given a name, and if she had to meet her in the next life, and then continue the frontier, the last and most reluctant thing in life was her, that is, the dead soul loved her. After saying goodbye to his lover, he called his daughter-in-law and gave him a passbook: This is my life's savings, there are 800,000 in it, you keep it. Ask the question: Does this man love his wife or a lover?

10, the company power outage, take advantage of the black kicked the female boss a foot, is laughing secretly the result of the sudden call, the key is that I kicked her foot has not been withdrawn, the female boss just looked at me stupidly, and I am embarrassed to die is really self-inflicted sins can not live ah!

1 Cousin since entering the company, every day is the earliest to come, the last to go. Last night, most of the people in their company came home from work, with only my cousin and his boss at work. When my cousin was about to leave, he saw his boss lady go to the boss's office in a menacing manner. He wanted to see the hilarity, but at this critical moment, he was afraid of causing dissatisfaction from the boss, so he went to get a broom and pretended to sweep the floor, meaning that he did not mean to join in the fun. As a result, just after entering the office, his feet slipped, and his cousin directly knocked a sweep on his boss's head!

12, the old justice black face to teach the playful son: "The next time you fail the exam, don't blame me for being rude to you." The little niece who had just gone to kindergarten listened, and rushed over to her husband and said, "Uncle, my brother must first say thank you before you can say that you are not welcome." ”

13, Wu Dalang was poisoned to death and saw Yan Wangye, he scolded: "You are too pit, reincarnation cast me short and ugly, wearing a green hat is not counted, but also poisoned by arsenic, the whole life will be a tragedy, is this necessary?" King Yan also felt a little embarrassed, and comforted: "Well, there was indeed an accident that year, in the next life I will guarantee you to be stylish and handsome and be a shadow emperor, and my wife is even more than Jin..." Da Lang listened to the great joy, and flew across the Naihe Bridge, and his head did not turn back to reincarnate, and he could not care about the faint shout of the King of Yan from behind: "The hat has not been taken off...!" ”

14, netizens: brother-in-law's colleague, double eleven to his ex-girlfriend to call 20,000 yuan of shopping money, I listened to it after beating my chest, "I also want to have such an ex-boyfriend!" "You pull it, others don't want you to pay for youth loss!"