1. My cousin works in a KTV. She has to contact a lot of guests every day, and her income is almost ten thousand a day. Lately, she has been feeling nauseous, vomiting, and loss of appetite. My cousin was afraid of getting pregnant

1. My cousin works in a KTV. She has to contact a lot of guests every day, and her income is almost ten thousand a day. Lately, she has been feeling nauseous, vomiting, and loss of appetite. My cousin was afraid of getting pregnant, so she went to the hospital for a check-up. After the report came out, the doctor asked, "How old are you?" Cousin: "Twenty-three!" Doctor: "Are you married?" Cousin: "No! Doctor: "Do you have a boyfriend?" Cousin: "No, if you have anything to say, just say it." I can handle it! Doctor: "So let me just say, will we have dinner together tonight?"

2, summer out of the street, on the road to see a girl wearing a miniskirt, I actually saw nosebleeds. Everyone around me looked at me with a perverted look, and I was not ashamed, but calmly wiped my nose. I took out my phone, dialed my number, and said in a low voice, "Doctor, my nose is bleeding again." Then there was a pause, and I hissed, "I don't do dialysis!" You tell me how long I can live? After a moment of silence, I smiled bitterly with tears in the corners of my eyes: "Half a year is long enough, thank you doctor." "After hanging up the phone, the eyes of the people around me changed, and they were all full of sympathy for me. The girl in the miniskirt also handed me a pack of fragrant facial tissues. Life is like a drama, all rely on acting skills!

3. On the weekend, I went to the haunted house with a few friends of the Sanda Club. A few of us were walking inside in a daze, when suddenly a ghost jumped out and scared us half to death. However, Xiao Po made a move that even we did not expect at that time. Only to see him split his legs and smash it the ghost's head! The ghost said at the moment of falling to the ground: "Lao Tzu resigned in the afternoon!" ”?

4. When I worked in an electronics factory, I liked our divorced female supervisor. In order to get her, I was attentive to her all day and then confessed directly. The female supervisor asked: Are you willing to do anything for me? I said firmly: I do. Female Supervisor: What if you were a cow and a horse? Me: Why do you have to be a cow and a horse? Female Supervisor: Because if you were a cow and a horse, I would be able to give you what they love to eat.

5, a brother in the dormitory has a fox odor, in order to cover up, every day out to spray a lot of perfume. Today he overslept, and when he woke up, he didn't have time to apply perfume and rush to the classroom. I wanted to sneak in through the back door, but I didn't think I was caught. The teacher was very angry and said solemnly, "Tell you how many times don't be late!" This is very much affecting the class - this classmate is even more excessive, even if he is late, how can he still bring lamb kebabs? ”

6. When I was in high school, there was a physical education test in our school, and failure directly affected college. When I was running a thousand meters, I covered my stomach at the same table and said that it was uncomfortable. Before starting, the same table was still half dead, and it was estimated that he could not run. As a result, the starting gun sounded, and this boy was like a wild horse that lost its reins and ran directly to the first place! After the final run, he still shouted: "The stomach is so uncomfortable, I can't run at all!" ”

7. Last night, I secretly took my father's Alipay to transfer my living expenses. After transferring 100 yuan, I found that the balance had not changed. So I turned it around again, and it still didn't change. I transferred 3000 to myself. Dad was also very happy to see it. Then I used the 3,000 yuan to go to the mobile phone store and buy a new mobile phone until the next day. Dad came back from the bank and beat me up when he entered the door without saying a word...

8, because there is no time to buy birthday gifts for the daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law can't wait and says: Husband, I know you're busy, just give me your credit card, and I'll run a leg for you tomorrow. I am embarrassed to say: Should I come forward in this matter? The daughter-in-law said: It's all right, this matter is wrapped up in me, I feel that I can help you do it well. In desperation, I handed the credit card to my daughter-in-law. The next day I will have a text message, a text message, look at this situation, this loser is planning to swiping the credit card before they are willing to give up?

9. After work, the husband and a few colleagues went to the bar to relax. Then, the old man sent a V letter to the mother-in-law: "Wife, I am in the bar with my brothers, help me wash all my dirty clothes, and then prepare my favorite dinner to wait for me to come back." Immediately after, the old man sent another note: "Oh yes, forgot to tell you, I will raise my salary at the end of the month to help you buy a new car." She quickly replied, "Oh my God really? The old man replied, "Fake, I just want to make sure you have received one from your brother." ”

10, a few days ago went to the bar to drink, met a beautiful rich second generation, we gave each other a good feeling, just added A V letter. After more than ten days of V-letter chatting, she agreed to be my girlfriend and moved to my villa. On this day, my girlfriend angrily went to the balcony and asked: Last time, I asked you, is the dress I just looked at on Tmall expensive? I said pitifully: Not expensive. She gave me a slight look: It's not expensive, is it? Then you can also not kneel. As soon as the words stopped, I stood up from the ground trembling against the wall. "

11. The performance was going on in the auditorium, and I stood up, squeezed out of the gap between the two rows, and walked into the lounge. Ten minutes later, when I came back, I lowered my head and said to a brother in the audience sitting in this row: Hey, did I just step on your feet? AUDIENCE: Yeah, it doesn't matter, it doesn't hurt anymore. Me: No, I don't mean that. I just wanted to confirm if I was sitting in this row.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #