Go to the bank to withdraw money and say to the teller, "Take 100". The teller said, "Not so much." I was on fire, and I said, "You don't have a bank of this size to withdraw 100, and you don't."

Go to the bank to withdraw money and say to the teller, "Take 100". The teller said, "Not so much." I was on fire at that time, and I said, "You don't have a bank of this size to withdraw 100, and you don't want to take 50,000 or 100,000 to make an appointment, so do you see if there are other windows?" The teller then said helplessly, "It's that you don't have that much in the card." ”......

2, the roommate's table is a bully, about to take the exam, he said in the dormitory: "Brother is not a bully is not important, the same table is a bully on the line." I was not angry: "It doesn't matter if you have a wife or not in the future, your neighbor will just have a wife." ”

3, my family just changed the wireless router, my mother posted a note on it: "wireless router password: 1234567" I said to my mother: be careful not to let others see the password, otherwise it will be rubbed. My mother said calmly: What about seeing? If they want to die, they can't think of the colon in front of me as a password!

4. A tourist walked into a hostel and asked the waiter, "I stayed here a few days ago, did you see my lost wallet?" "What style of wallet is it?" "It doesn't matter which style, you just have to pick a more money for me!"

5. Wear a mask at home and close your eyes to recuperate. The husband suddenly came out of the house with an uncomfortable face rubbing his temples and said, "Wife, my head hurts!" I looked at my husband doubtfully and asked, "Do you want to catch a cold?" He was stunned for a moment and said, "No, my head is full of you." I listened to a burst of happiness in my heart, and just as I was about to speak, he said again: "Before you were so thin, I could barely bear it, and now you are so big that it makes me have a headache!" ”

6, when cooking, Unicom called, knew that there was nothing wrong, and asked his son to answer the phone. Sure enough, it was a sales call tariff package! The son replied decisively: "My mother cooks her own food, and there is no need to customize any packages!"

7, me: marry me, be a wife. Girlfriend: When your wife wants to wash clothes? Me: Yes. Girlfriend: Do you want to wash dishes and chopsticks and do housework? Me: Yes, but I will help. Girlfriend: Then I don't want to, I want to be a junior, just take a bath.

8, last night at the buddy's house playing cards, my wife called me. The wife said with some anger: It is already 11 o'clock, why don't you go home, are you playing cards outside again? I said: traffic jam, you won't be able to go back later. Wife: I don't believe it, you honk your horn for me to hear! Just when I was overwhelmed, the buddy's little boy blew a little whistle into the house. Just listen to the wife on the other end of the phone said: traffic police whistle, then don't honk the horn, don't be caught, you slowly block it, I hung up!

9, waiting for contemporary children: familiar with reading 21 parenting books to distinguish the meaning of different cries, hoarding 600+ French plant extract baby cream, at home there is no toxic harmless non-stuck foot import fence, go out to adjustable and easy to fold high-end imported trolley, eat with SKP silver plated small spoon, toys to gold swing small wooden horse, 24 hours need special care. Serving contemporary adults: one bed per room, wifi is strong enough.

10. In the elevator, I asked the uncle standing in front: "Has the uncle eaten?" The uncle smiled and said, "Eat?" I nibbled on two steamed buns. I smiled and nodded, "Uncle should pay attention to nutritional balance." Turning around and asking the buddies next to him, "What about you, big brother?" The buddy looked at me: "Scrambled eggs with leeks, what's wrong?" I looked at him, "You just put that fart on, didn't you?"

1 The third uncle wanted to find a daughter-in-law for the second dog, so he went to ask the second dog what kind of looking for. Third Master: "Second dog, what kind of daughter-in-law do you want to find?" The second dog: "Temper should be docile, strength should be great, you must be able to work in the field, you can't pick and choose to eat and wear, the most important point, the chest must be big!" The Third Master: "Yes, there is, but the dowry will be a little high." The second dog: "Third master, as long as you meet the conditions, it doesn't matter if the dowry is high!" The Third Master: "Okay! My cow belongs to you."

12, the sister is petite and weighs 90 pounds, and the child is tossed in the hospital for 3 days before the 9 pounds of child is born. My sister said to my brother-in-law: I almost died. Fortunately, it is a boy who can pass on the generations, and if I am infertile again, I will definitely not live. The brother-in-law had to agree and move to the study to sleep. Fast forward two months, turning off the lights and getting ready for bed, there was a knock at the door. The brother-in-law was startled and asked: Who? Only to hear the sister outside the door laughing: not afraid of death is coming, open the door soon!

13, in the morning from the underground garage of my neighborhood just to park the car. Just about to get off the bus, he was stopped by a handsome uncle. The uncle said to me softly and affectionately: "It doesn't matter if your car is parked for a while, but don't let it go for a long time, because it is not good to let the guests in"! I immediately nodded sheepishly and said, "Then I'll move the car right away!" Then I went around the car again and rode away on my little electric donkey.

14, A: Mid-Autumn Festival, unit gathering, the boss said that today prepared six tables, everyone can bring their families, but he does not count at all. B: What's wrong? A: I think I can bring my family, of course I want to take my family with me. As a result, the boss actually scolded me and broke up unhappily. B: Why? A: Because the boss set the table, my family can't sit down.