After work, I helped my female colleague repair the water pipe, fixed it, said she invited me to dinner, and I rushed home to resign. While packing up the kit, her five-year-old daughter secretly stuffed me with a little butterfly made of silk, and I laughed

After work, I helped my female colleague repair the water pipe, fixed it, said she invited me to dinner, and I rushed home to resign. While packing up the kit, her five-year-old daughter secretly stuffed me with a small butterfly made of silk, and I smiled and put it in my pocket. When I got home I was almost killed, the butterfly was decorated on the panties, and my wife said she had one too.

2. Today a woman from the company said to the front desk: "Help me find a person who can do housework, it must be a man." Front desk: "Then do you have a lot of family, can you tell us about the business you are mainly responsible for?" Woman: "There is no one to do with me and my niece." The woman said, "Not much, just everyday." However, be diligent and still listen to me. "Oh!" The front desk thought for a moment and then said, "So is it better to find a husband?" Woman: "You can find a husband!" ”

3. Last night, when I went for a walk in the park after eating, I actually ran into our boss who also came out for a walk. I smiled and asked, "Boss, haven't you slept so late?" The boss replied faintly: "I can't sleep." I asked incomprehensibly: "The boss can't sleep, what's the trouble?" The boss said slowly, "What's bothering you?" I didn't expect time to pass so quickly, and tomorrow is the day to pay wages. ”

4. At night, the buddies noticed that his headmate had a mosquito on his face. Then he took out his mobile phone and took a picture, just when I thought my buddies were bored and wanted to send a circle of friends. I saw him take the turn of his right hand and directly give the roommate a slap, and then the roommate woke up. Then the photos prepared in advance saved the lives of the buddies, and sure enough, they are all popular high-IQ crimes now.

5. The flight attendant who has always had a crush has a birthday and spent 3,000,000 to buy a Vacheron Constantin watch to give her. After giving the flight attendant a watch, she said to me, "Don't you want to confess to me?" "At that time, I was so excited, I confessed immediately!" The flight attendant stared at me for half a day and said contemptuously: "This watch is returned to you!" At that time, my heart was cold: "Don't you like it?" I bought it with pocket money a month! The flight attendant said: "In the future, we are all family, quickly return the watch, you are dead!" "Happiness came too suddenly.

6. Yesterday there was a power outage at home, so I had to sit in the courtyard to cool off. I didn't notice that a cockroach came under my feet, and then I stomped to death. I looked and saw that this cockroach wasn't very old either. I didn't expect more than twenty cockroaches to come to the door in the second half of the night! It wasn't until this time that I knew I might have killed a rich man... This is sending cockroaches out to find the whereabouts of the rich second generation!

7. My sister-in-law went to Beijing to sell cold skins, couldn't find a stall, and was introduced to work as a nanny. The old man is alone, his sons and daughters are working in the United States, and his sister-in-law has been serving for five years! The old man died, the son and daughter came back to finish the funeral, and said to the sister-in-law: "Thank you for taking care of my father, we discussed it, this set of courtyard you give 200,000, we sold it to you, we will not come back once in several years!" "The sister-in-law was too honest to refuse, and now she is still a nanny.....

8. After drinking at KTV in the evening, I called a Didi to prepare to go home, and I didn't expect a Rolls-Royce Phantom! I was first surprised and then happy, and I was feeling the comfort of the car, when the driver suddenly turned back and asked: Is it a drink? I was stunned and asked strangely: You don't pull drinkers? The driver looked at me, couldn't help but laugh out, and said: No, just now there is a second goods, also drinking, as soon as I got on the car I asked him where to go, he said not to go anywhere, just sit!

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #