1. After the female colleague was infertile, she was dumped by her boyfriend and dropped 200,000. I have a crush on a female colleague for a long time, so I married a female colleague. After the birth of the child, I treated him as if he were my own

1. After the female colleague was infertile, she was dumped by her boyfriend and dropped 200,000. I have a crush on a female colleague for a long time, so I married a female colleague. After the birth of the child, I treated him as if he were my own. When my son was in elementary school, he scored all 0 points in one exam, and his angry wife beat him violently. I felt that things were not so simple, and asked my son: "Even if you don't study, you won't get a score of 0, right?" The little guy exhaled and said, "The teacher didn't let me share the table with Xiaomei, so I deliberately scored 0 points to lower the average score in the class and let him know that I wasn't easy to mess with..."

2, Wandali has opened a new fried chicken shop, is opening a big reward, engaged in promotions, the billboard at the door is written on the face of the big chicken steak, as a foodie I must go to buy! As soon as I entered the door, I shouted, "I just want to eat that chicken steak that is bigger than my face!" The waiter looked up at me, turned his head and said to the boss, "Someone is smashing the field!" ”

3. When I was a senior in college, I decided to test in order to avoid finding a job. I read and studied all day and was very tired. Today I was so tired that I fell asleep with my book in my hand. After a while, the phone suddenly rang, and I picked it up to see that it was a strange number. After connecting, the other side said, "Why haven't you answered the phone?" I've been playing all afternoon! What did you do? Does a little girl who goes to school in the field not know how to keep the phone running smoothly at all times? Do you know how worried your parents will be? I weakly asked, "Who are you?" The other side said solemnly: "I am SF Express, take the courier from the North Gate quickly!" ”

4. Because a man could not stand his wife's nagging every day, he ran out of the house in a fit of anger and stayed in a hotel. The innkeeper opened a room for him and said, "The hotel on our side is the best in this area, and we guarantee that after you stay, you will feel like you are in your own home." When the man heard this, he shouted, "Oh my God, hurry up and change my room!"

5, dad talked to me, said in a serious tone: "You are not young, it is time to get married, I am older with your mother..." I got up to send it off, and I felt a lot in my heart: I was old and not small, and everything still worried my parents. At the same time, I feel happy, and it is good to have parents nagging! When my mother saw my father come out, she pulled aside and said in a low voice, "Did you say all this?" Dad nodded, "I've said everything you explained." "Mother:" This girl has been turning on the air conditioner all night, how much electricity does it cost, hurry up and marry her out!" Dad nodded in agreement: "Well, marry out!" ”

6, last night to the husband poured a lot of wine to take advantage of the husband to fall asleep, secretly picked up his finger to unlock the mobile phone, did not expect, the moment I saw the screen I was full of red, the screensaver is a string of text: wife, nothing, I love you to death. So I put down my husband's mobile phone, closed my eyes and went to sleep, but it seemed that my husband was relieved!

7. The leader gave me two Tarzan Buddha's rays, which I took to honor the old man. The old man was particularly happy and prepared a rich dinner for me and my wife. At the dinner table, the wife did not know what was going on and quarreled with the mother-in-law. My wife cried and pulled me away, and I yelled: Pull what to pull, I haven't eaten enough yet! The wife was stunned for a moment, and then said: Yes, I haven't eaten enough, let's go when I'm full!

8. I hugged my sister-in-law in front of my mother-in-law and wife, and they didn't dare to say anything! Once, when my wife and mother-in-law were not at home, my sister-in-law and I walked hand in hand in the neighborhood. When she was tired, she shouted, "Hug me!" "Yesterday I spent another 300 yuan to buy a dress for my sister-in-law. The daughter-in-law was jealous and scolded me: "I am your wife, you should have the money to buy me clothes, you have a good relationship with my sister, isn't it?" You have the ability to reimburse her for the cost of going to kindergarten! ”?

9, home power outage, simply go downstairs to the Internet café all night. I was playing with hi, sitting next to a superskirt beauty. The beautiful woman patted me and said, "Handsome man, I have a fire, borrow a cigarette." As soon as I listened, I smiled: Just call me this handsome guy, give, take this bag! Beauty looked at me with disdain and took out the last one inside...

10. My mother-in-law wanted me to be a door-to-door son-in-law, saying that she would give me a suite and a BMW 5 Series. In the end, I still couldn't stand the confusion and agreed to the marriage. After getting married, I rarely go home, and last night my mother suddenly called me and asked, "Son, do you want to go home for dinner?" I saw that the warehouse was almost busy, so I said, "Come back right away." As a result, I heard my mother say to my father: "Old Zhang, don't feed the dog about the leftovers, the son will go home to eat..."

11, the little nephew wants a mobile phone, the brother will be eliminated by the iPhone5S to the little nephew. The little nephew took the mobile phone and did not play games, but he was fascinated by the live broadcast of a certain hand. After dinner last night, we were watching Ace vs. Ace, and the little nephew was on a whim with a mop to mop the floor. As he mopped the floor, he shouted at us: "Come, old irons, live mopping, you are happy to see it, hurry up and send gifts, put your change on the coffee table in front of you." ”??

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #