1. The first time to bring the boyfriend home, the mother is very happy... After dinner, the boyfriend is gone... My mother calmly gave me a mouth and scolded: "I am anxious to let you have a man."

1. The first time to take the boyfriend home, the mother is very happy... After dinner, the boyfriend is gone... My mother calmly gave me a mouth and scolded: "I was anxious to let you have a boyfriend, but I didn't let you rent a boyfriend to go home!" I was surprised and said, "How do you see that?" The old mother scolded: "I told him that you have to prepare a million dowry money to marry my daughter, are you willing?" Without even thinking about it, he said, no problem! Do you say he's blind, or am I stupid..."I"..."

2. A friend once felt a sudden urgency of urination while bathing in the hot spring, so he buried his entire body in the water to solve the problem. Who knew that a gush of red liquid rose in the water, "Frightened, think I have pee blood?" The security guard quickly dragged him out of the water and fined him 800 yuan, it turned out that the merchant had put the drug in the water, and the drug changed color when it met with urine. After a brother arrived home, he found that his wife was stealing a man, and the brother was trembling with anger, so he had to gently withdraw, and he locked the door with his hand, and then dialed a phone: "Mom, it's not good!" Your daughter-in-law locked herself in the house and said she was going to kill herself!" Within ten minutes, the mother-in-law's family all came, three cars of people, and then they smashed open the door...

3. I played the king of the network to love a beautiful girl, talked for half a year and finally wanted to meet. For the sake of face, I booked a fancy hotel. I was eating, when suddenly a waiter came up to me and asked: Sir, is the car parked at the door yours? I thought about not driving the car, but to avoid embarrassment, I said: it should not be mine, I don't seem to be parked at the door, you go to see what the car is, if it is Porsche, it is mine. After a while, the waiter came back to me and said: Sir, it is really a Porsche, you are tired to move it! I was momentarily not calm...

4. Some time ago, a new female colleague came to our company, and I hate her very much. She is extremely jealous and loves to make small gestures behind people. On this day, her contradictions with her escalated again, and there was a big war. I was arguing, and I played with a clearer mind than usual. Attack her with the most vicious words, watching her momentum get weaker and weaker. Immediately the tears were about to come out, and suddenly she said: Do you think you can bully people like this because you are beautiful? I...... At that time, I was speechless, and I even felt that we could become good friends in the future!

5. A big aunt went to the bank counter to pick up the 800, the teller said to go to the ATM to pick up, at this time the security guard came in and asked: "Who is Bentley outside?" Big Mom said, "Mine! The lobby manager asked busily: "Is the big mother withdrawing money?" Come, take it here....I'll give you the operation..." Big Mom smiled at the lobby manager: "Good, next time look for you." The teller saw the situation, did not move, and looked for an opportunity to add a WeChat with the big mother. In the afternoon, she finally saw the medical records of her mother, high blood pressure, high blood sugar... During the day, Big Mama's medical records fell on the ground outside, and there happened to be a Bentley outside!!!

6. After work today, I will accompany a single beautiful colleague home to help her fix her computer. It is to install the operating system, configure wireless routing, and get about twelve o'clock. When she left, she said to me: "It's not good to drive at night, it's not safe, or stay for one night." "At that time, I refused" Rest assured, my brother's driving skills are first-class, how can it be unsafe, twenty minutes to get home. ”

7. Go to pick up your child after work, and when you get to the door, you will find that there are several parents chatting and waiting for school. At this time, a Land Rover passing by may have taken the wrong road, so it turned around at the entrance of the school. At first glance, it was a female driver, and out of reverence for the female driver, several of our parents got out of the car and hid far away. Sure enough, the female driver kicked the accelerator, stopped at a dozen electric vehicles on the side of the road, and the domino-like brush fell down!

8. The cousin chased the flight attendant for two years, and the flight attendant still ignored her, and suddenly sent a V letter to the cousin on this day: "Are you free?" The cousin said, "Empty, what's wrong?" The flight attendant said: "Can you send me 2,000 yuan, I am in a hurry." The cousin immediately sent it over, and then asked: "What, what do you want the red envelope for?" The flight attendant replied in seconds: "Buy AJ for my boyfriend to wear." ”

9. After Tang Hao defeated the Martial Soul Hall, he resurrected Ah Yin. Ah Yin looked at Tang Hao affectionately, and then said: Honey, you shave your beard! Tang Hao: What's wrong, it's not very good. Ah Yin: You are not suitable for taking the decadent route. Tang Hao: Then what route do I have to take? Ah Yin: White, eat the route! Tang Hao: Haha, I don't want to go the same route as you...

10. The programmers who graduated from Mimoto University were too low to maintain a high rent, so they wanted to go to the wet market to help the butcher sell pork. Butcher: Let the sprinklers ask you how many grams is one kilogram equal? Programmer: 1024 grams! The butcher waved his hand and said: You can go. The programmer hurriedly said: No, it is 1000 grams. The butcher was still waving for him to leave, when a leper passed by with a cigarette. The leper said casually: One kilogram is obviously 800 grams! The butcher's eyes lit up: Hmm! This little brother is good, how's it going, come to work here! 40,000 per month.

11. The girl was doing her math homework, and as she was doing it, she came to me and asked: Dad, Dad, a swimming pool needs to be filled in four hours, and it takes six hours to dry up the water, and how long it takes to add water and release water to fill the pool. I was a big head, and the last thing I was good at was math, so I said to my girlfriend: There will be no such fool in the world who adds water to the pool and releases water at the same time! At this time, the wife came to the side of a sentence: Don't you fool charge the mobile phone while playing with the mobile phone?

 #Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #