1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you

1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you get mine. I sneered and ignored it. The class leader came over and said, "Old classmate, last time you borrowed me 3 million, can you pay it back next month?" "I said yes. When the first love saw this, she couldn't help but move toward me, closer, and whispered, "You can still chase me now!" I moved to the side, "I won't let you get mine." After the first love left, the class leader came over and shook my hand and said, "Old classmate, I'm interesting enough.... Give you a long face. "I quickly pulled my hand away, this dead fat man has been secretly in love with me for ten years, and he will not change his heart."

2. A rich second generation drives a yacht to take his girlfriend out to sea. The two snuggled up together and the girlfriend said, "Do you love me?" Fu Er Dai was very determined: "Of course, I love you more than I love my own life." The girlfriend listened and pointed to the sea and said, "If you dare to jump from here, I will believe your words." "The second generation of the rich turned around and left, the girlfriend downstairs was alone, and the girlfriend was a little sad. After a while, the rich second generation returned, and the girlfriend asked in surprise: "What did you do?" Fu Er Dai: "Honey, I went to get a lifebuoy!" ”

3. When I was in college, there was a girl in the class, and her face was big and round! One day, she asked me a little depressed: "Everyone says that my face is like scones, what do you think?" I shook my head and said, "Not at all!" She said happily, "Really? I nodded, "Of course, scones can only describe your round face, not your big face, in my opinion, it's more like burnt bread!" "

4, the company's IT guy and a female colleague on a business trip, busy day, at night together to eat a supper, back to the hotel before breaking up, the female colleague smiled and asked the guy: "Whose song is the glorious years?" The boy blurted out, "Huang Jiaju's." The female colleague snorted, turned her head and left. The guy came back and asked me, I didn't understand either...?

5. My sister-in-law is still single at the age of twenty-nine this year, and every day when she comes home after work, she can't help but be scolded by my mother-in-law. Last night my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law slept together, and my sister-in-law said: Mom, I can't sleep, you tell me a bedtime story. My mother-in-law said: Well, once upon a time there was a little pig in the big forest, ugly and eating a lot, didn't like to fold quilts, didn't like to wash dishes, and spent his mother's money all day and still couldn't find a partner. After listening to it, the sister-in-law said: Mom, I am sleepy, go to sleep!

6. Last night I tricked my wife into working overtime, but I actually went out to drink with my brother-in-law behind my wife's back. I didn't think that the brother-in-law said that the leak was discovered by my wife, and when I got home, my wife didn't have time to scold me, so I directly knelt in front of my wife. The wife said: "Rest assured, I have to restore the factory settings now!" I couldn't help but be surprised: "Wife, are you going to change back to the gentle and considerate way you used to be?" The wife said: "No, before that was not licensed, I was afraid that you would not marry me, in fact, I am a sanda champion!" ”"

7. I am a high-achieving student who graduated from Tsinghua Computer Science Department and am now working as a programmer in an IT company. After work last night, I copied files on a USB stick on my computer. When I'm done, I click "Pop Up" in the right button. At this time, the wife next to her suddenly ran to the back of the chassis and waited. I looked puzzled and asked, "Honey, what are you doing here?" The wife said, "I'll wait for it to pop up and then click, or it will bounce to the ground and break it!" "I was speechless for an instant, is this IQ not saved?"

8. The second generation of a rich man went to a KTV party and met a bartender girl, and later the two were together. His girlfriend is beautiful and has a big temperament! One day, the two of them bought something at Armani's specialty store, and it took three hours to buy it. Fu Er Dai was in a hurry, and said: Is it okay? I've been waiting for a long time. The girlfriend said haughtily: If you can't wait, break up! The second generation of the rich said: Break up and break up, in the future you live in your rental house, I live in my mansion, you ride your electric car, I drive my Bentley! After shaking her head and leaving, she listened stunned.

9. When I was in college, I liked the 38-year-old female director of teaching in school. Since I have never had the opportunity to confess, I intend to create my own opportunity to be alone. Passing by the carport this day, I had a stroke of genius and directly deflated her bicycle. When the female director came to pick up the car, I immediately stood up and said, "Your tire is out of gas, I will take you!" The female director said coldly: "I saw you prick my tire upstairs, what do you mean?" ”

10. Lao Wang opened a blacksmith shop in the countryside, mainly responsible for making iron pots for stir-frying. His wife left Lao Wang in his early years because of his poverty, and Lao Wang raised his daughter alone. On this day, Lao Wang took his daughter outside to collect some firewood to burn the fire, and just saw the villagers who were cultivating in the field. The daughter asked Lao Wang: Dad, what are these people doing? Lao Wang replied: They are farming! The daughter asked: What about the fields except farming? Lao Wang thought for a while: He will also fry the golden flower!??

11, the third uncle rode a motorcycle too fast, the other day he broke his leg. Today I went back to my hometown to visit, but my grandfather stopped me and asked me to take him to the market to buy crutches. After buying a crutch, I took my grandfather to the third uncle's house, and the third uncle was sitting on the kangtou watching TV, and I said to the third uncle: My grandfather has come to see you, and he also bought you a crutch. When the third uncle listened, he was moved to tears: Dad, let you worry... Grandpa walked over, suddenly raised his crutch, and said while hitting: I let you ride so fast! Make you disobedient... Make you disobedient! "

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #