Someone always asks, "Does love need a reason?" ”
Most people think that love doesn't need a reason, because love has no reason to speak of. Just like liking someone, there is no reason.
Just like when we were young, when we liked something, we especially wanted to get it, even if it was very ordinary and did not have any characteristics. Just because I like it.
So, they will find ways to get it. For example, to spoil and grind hard bubbles is to want parents to buy this thing for themselves. Because I was young at that time, I didn't know what restraint was. After all, not everything we want is available.
It's also like our feelings, not what you like. If you can get it as long as you like it, then it is much easier to get feelings.
But love is not a matter of one person, but of two people. As someone once said, "Love does not come first, but it is divided into courtesies and shames, and it also needs restraint." ”
It's just that in the beginning, we don't understand why love needs to be restrained.
Just like the love of youth, being able to love a person recklessly, at that time, the self was simply tasked, as long as there was like, other things were not important.
I don't want the future, I don't want to be realistic, I think it's just two people together. Only after finally being hurt did I realize that the original relationship could not be successful just by liking.
Love can't go with feelings, and it's not as long as you like it. Love is a two-person affair, and all you need to do is love with restraint.
Is it restrained love?
Restrained love is love with boundaries, knowing what can be done and what not, and in your relationship you know what each other's bottom line is. Instead of blindly flattering and giving.
It is as if a person who knows how to exercise restraint will not act immediately when he is touched by a person. Instead, they will think clearly and will no longer be as impulsive as they were when they were younger. I feel that as long as I like it, I don't need to worry about other things.
A reader friend once told me in a private message.
In the end, she still did not marry the person who had given her all. She said that her current husband is not the boyfriend who loved and loved her before, but another person who met through relatives.
She said, are you surprised that the person you love deeply in the end has not resisted the person who accepted the blind date. She continued.
Yes, when I first accepted the feelings, I also identified him, thinking that he would not marry. But feelings eventually have to return to reality.
She said she had also told her ex-boyfriend that she wanted to get married, but he didn't want to get married. And he really wanted to get married at that time, maybe he didn't give a sense of security enough at that time, and he wanted to get a sense of security by getting married.
But after saying it a few times, he would always say wait a little longer, I wasn't ready. At that time, our ideas began to be different, and in the end, we still came to the point of breaking up.
Then, almost a year later, I met my current husband. In the beginning, she was just trying to cope with her parents. But slowly in the process of getting along with him, I found that he was a good person. After that, we talked about a year of love, and we felt the same way about each other.
After a year, we embarked on the palace of marriage, and we are very satisfied with the current marriage. Her husband loves her very much and she has a happy family.
She said that sometimes the emotional thing is really unclear, and it's not just love. The feeling of wishful thinking, after all, does not last longer than the two feelings of mutual pleasure.
Indeed! Adult feelings are inseparable from two words: restraint. It is not like when you were young, simply thinking that as long as it is love, it is enough. There is no need to think about anything else.
After all, only by knowing restraint can we resist the temptation, understand what kind of mode of getting along is good, and what kind of mode of getting along is bad. Don't be ambiguous about others. You say yes or no.
Wen | Ming floating life
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