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1
I have seen this passage and say:
"Keeping 30% of the mystery forever is the best life advice I've ever received."
It is also his experience in maintaining marriage and family, that is, even if he is married and has children, do not have 100% of the disclosure of the other half, and always leave 30% of himself.
Of course, this 30% does not mean trickery and conspiracy, but refers to the strength of one's own retention, the ability and charm that others do not know.
Keep 30%, others can always see the unexpected you, always give others a sense of freshness. This is important not only in love and marriage, but in all relationships. ”
Whoever understands naturally understands.
In any relationship, mystery = attraction, there will be further exploration, understanding of your psychological desires, emotions are attracted to you uncontrollably. In particular, the relationship between men and women, the relationship between the sexes, and attraction will always be the most core bond and cornerstone, otherwise it will feel boring and even contemptuous.
No one can fully understand and thoroughly understand the people or things they are familiar with, and then have a special enthusiasm and interest.
This emotional and psychological change, which does not seem to be very serious, will actually make all the small problems between two people, the inappropriate parts, infinitely magnified, the accumulation of piles and pieces, and finally either erupt or collapse.
Or disgust is caused by burnout, which then causes moody changes in emotions, showing indifference, irritability, depression, wildness, and so on.
You look at me, annoyed; I look at you, enough. In the end, it brings the burden of life, causing the marriage to lose its temperature, and then considering the assumption of responsibility and the entanglement of life, it has to become a partner couple. For the rest of their lives, for each other, it will become a process of boiling frogs in warm water.
2
Don't put the cart before the horse, how a relationship is, what direction it has, does not depend on the relationship itself, only on ourselves. With their own ability and charm, to influence each other, and then determine the temperature and direction of the relationship.
You can't stand it, everything you talk about is in vain, and no matter how someone loves you, this love will not last long.
Therefore, everything must learn to start from oneself, which can never be wrong. You want to keep your marriage fresh, too, starting from yourself, not from marriage.
YiShu wrote in "The First Half of My Life":
"The relationship between lovers will not last, which relationship will last, husband and wife relationship?" Friendship? Competitive relationship? No matter what kind of relationship, you must constantly motivate yourself and fresh yourself. ”
You have to constantly cultivate yourself, fresh yourself, and only in this way can you show new content, charms that your partner does not know, and unexpected abilities. Otherwise, husband and wife get along day and night, and no matter how rich you are in, there will be a time when you have a thorough understanding.
Then, the marriage crisis occurred unconsciously, unable to find the root of the problem, difficult to solve and save, and finally counterproductive.
Let's take a simple example.
Usually, at home, the husband is always disliked and disliked by his wife, and she feels that she has a complete understanding of her husband. As a result, by chance, I went out with my husband to talk about things, I thought that I would have my own "place of use" and help my husband stabilize the scene, but her husband showed a clear logic, concise speech, and reasonable evidence, which immediately made her realize a different husband.
In hindsight, she recalled her husband's unexpected side, enough to fill her with admiration, with emotional ripples for a long time.
There will be many subtle changes in the feelings and feelings of the husband, so that the relationship between husband and wife will enter a virtuous circle. Don't grumble, don't give up, and in the end, the husband will change because of her change.
For example, when the wife encounters trouble, the husband who is usually counted by her usually shows the same calmness and clarity that makes her unexpected after rushing to the scene, and solves her trouble very well.
There is a problem, when it is your turn to perform, when you have the opportunity to perform, you can have unexpected performances for your partner, this part may be the strength you have always retained, or it may be your ability to enrich yourself and newly cultivate.
Many small things in life can be like this, and they don't necessarily have to wait until something big happens.
When you get lost, your thinking is clear, calm and calm, thinking direction; in terms of human feelings, your deep understanding of the essence, arrangement plan, law analysis; in the family trivialities, your wisdom and responsibility, as well as the understanding and acceptance of human nature issues, this can let her see an unexpected you.
As long as you are willing to enrich yourself, grow yourself, and fresh yourself, you will always have an endless attraction to your partner.
3
What kind of marriage can last? In fact, the answer is very simple, only couples who know how to constantly renew themselves can be long-lasting.
You can constantly freshen yourself, and in a way, it will also make your partner have a special sense of crisis, he or she feels that you are improving, you also have a superior side, and you are bound to follow in your footsteps.
Relationships are like this, and marriages have always been like this, and you can't ignore the essential problems just because you are married and you are a couple.
A cherished heart often originates from the emphasis on the value of reality, if you know you thoroughly, absolutely master, in this case there is contempt, then even if you have the ability and charm at the moment, it is also very rich, or in vain, there is emotional alienation.
Then you will no longer cherish you, value you, or show up as a bunch of irrational anger, the emotions are very large, the temper is very large, there is no longer resilience to speak of, there will only be pickiness, there will only be dislike, there will be no tolerance at all.
In fact, people are like this, the establishment of male and female relationships, often by the physiological attraction, personality attraction, psychological attraction and the willingness to occur, in turn, the end of the relationship between men and women, or the problems of the relationship, those messy reasons can be ignored, the fundamental reason is a little, the lack of attraction.
Losing the sense of mystery, no matter how good a person is, it will make you feel bored with it, and a series of performances and changes will occur.
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