01
When it comes to the basis of marriage, many people may know that it is feelings. Yes, bread is only the guarantee of marriage, and only feelings are the foundation of marriage, and it is also the foundation that ensures the longevity of a marriage. But I don't know if you have found that there are many couples who were originally in love, but later the relationship has become more and more intense.
Isn't it love? I don't know, but what is certain is that there must be a problem with the relationship between the husband and wife. If you want to improve the relationship between husband and wife, the first thing is to find out where the problem is.
In recent years, Ren Bei has been thinking about a question, why has it become so strange with her husband? The relationship between husband and wife is getting stronger, which is not what RenBei wants to see, nor is it what Renbei wants. She also didn't want to argue with her husband all the time, and every time she did it because of those small things that were not worth mentioning.
There were more fights and everyone was tired. So for the sweetness and harmony of the past, Ren Bei is more nostalgic and eager, what to do in the end, to be able to go back to the past.
Ren Bei has his own job, and the time he can spend with her husband is only a little while in the evening. To be precise, it is the small moment before going to bed, before which you have to cook and wash, wash your rice bowls, and finally pack up your children and go to sleep before you can drag your tired body back to your room.
Enjoy this hard-won idle time, when I first got married, I still had endless topics with my husband, but after more than ten years of marriage, I had nothing to say. So everyone held their mobile phones and did not want to go to sleep.
02
It's not that you really don't want to go to sleep, it's that the time at night is too precious; it's not that you really can't sleep, but as soon as you close your eyes, it's a new day. There is also the attitude of her husband, always so impatient, for a long time, Ren Bei is more reluctant to take care of him, do not want to find himself unhappy.
It seems to be a husband and wife, but it seems to be a stranger under the same roof, unless it is a matter of encounter, the two people can calmly chat a few words, only a few words.
The next day, everyone continued to work on their own things, it seemed to be a new day, a new beginning, but in fact, it was just a repetition of yesterday's life, and it was still infinitely repeated. When they first got married, the feelings of the two people were really good, they cared for each other, greeted each other, and after dinner, they could go downstairs hand in hand.
For a while, Ren Bei proposed to her husband that she had eaten at night and gone out with her children, also to ease the relationship between husband and wife. But the result? Ren Bei walked in front with his children in front, and her husband walked in the back with his head down and playing with his mobile phone, which was no different from at home.
In order to remedy this relationship, Ren Bei has done a lot, but the effect is minimal, and finally has to admit that they are really strangers to each other. The root cause of this marriage to the strange is not that the husband has changed his heart, nor is it that Ren Bei does not love, but that the two people lack communication.
To put it bluntly, any kind of feeling in the world needs to be maintained regularly, and no communication means estrangement and misunderstanding.
03
In marriage, more important than husband and wife love, this is this! Which point? Communicate and communicate. Feelings are the basis of marriage, and the basis of feelings is communication, and then intimate relationships, once there is a lack of communication for a long time, will gradually become strange and indifferent. There is even a misunderstanding.
It can be said that this is a cycle, and it is a vicious circle. The more you do not communicate, the more likely it is to misunderstand and estrangement, and the lack of communication after the gap will only deepen the misunderstanding, and finally lead to the relationship between husband and wife, more and more rigid, more and more intense, you feel that I am unreasonable, I think you are unreasonable.
Without exception, all couples who have been lacking communication for many years will only freeze their love in silence for many years. The nearest person, the farthest heart.
The longer you are married, the more accustomed you are to each other's existence, and the more accustomed you are, the easier it is to ignore the importance of talking to each other, and your feelings gradually fade. Therefore, in marriage, it is very important for both husband and wife to communicate frankly. Only by adding firewood to love can it not be diluted and extinguished.
When couples no longer have intimate communication, it will make life change from bland to cold, like chewing gum in the mouth for a long time, without a trace of sweetness, and then spitting out can not be spit out, only boredom remains. Since then, the hearts of the two people have been pulled farther and farther apart, and the two people have gradually drifted apart, until finally, they really become the most familiar strangers.
The most terrible thing is not only that, but later I didn't even bother to quarrel. In fact, quarrels are also a crazy way of communication, but quarrels are very tiring after all, and many unnecessary quarrels will hurt feelings.
Therefore, in marriage, really don't feel that the two people in front of you are very in love, it doesn't matter if you communicate and communicate. In the long years, habit is a very terrible existence, not afraid of sudden changes in feelings, afraid of the accumulation of some things. Distance, strangeness, often start from zero communication.