There is a line in "The World of Man":
"Love is not the destination of the relationship between men and women, the ultimate destination of the relationship between men and women is marriage, love can be desperate, marriage is not." 」
Love and marriage are two different things, the former invests in feelings, the latter invests in a lifetime, love can afford to lose, marriage can not afford to lose.
Because marriage not only involves feelings, property, personal life, etc., but also involves parents, children and the two families of both parties...
Marriage has great responsibilities and needs to be carefully chosen. Otherwise, one step wrong, half a life regret.
On Zhihu, I saw a question:
"In the current environment, what business is best to do?"
There is a high praise reply below: "If someone sells regret medicine, it will definitely be the best business in the world." ”
Indeed, there is no one in this world who does not regret it.
01. Buy a house together with a phoenix man before marriage
Netizen Ding Jie (pseudonym) is very regretful. She was blinded by the so-called love, did not listen to her parents' opinions, and desperately came together with the phoenix boyfriend.
Moreover, she also hid from her parents and bought a house with her boyfriend before marriage. The only thing to be thankful for is that she has not yet officially entered into marriage with her boyfriend.
She and her boyfriend Gao Yuan (pseudonym) are both from third-tier cities in the eastern region, and she lives in the urban area, an ordinary citizen family. Gao Yuan lives in a township on the outskirts of the city, and also comes from an ordinary small town family.
Gao Yuan's father was ill for many years, and the family's economic conditions were very poor.
Ding Jie has always felt that love has nothing to do with rich or poor, and she believes that she and Gao Yuan have the ability to make their future life better and better.
In fact, Gao Yuan is indeed quite excellent, after graduating from a key university, he entered a local large enterprise to work, which is the company's key training object.
The reason why her parents opposed her being with Gao Yuan was not because of Gao Yuan's family situation, but because they felt that Gao Yuan, a person who was cautious and cautious in his dealings with people, looked like the city government was very deep.
Ding Jie is an only child, although the family is not very rich, but from childhood is also in the spoiled growth, her growth environment is relatively clean, the personality is relatively simple, only temperament, no heart.
Her parents feared that she would be deceived and told her to be cautious about marriage, but at that time she was immersed in love, could not listen to anything, and even quarreled with her parents many times.
Later, in order to show her determination to her parents, she decided to "cook mature rice with raw rice" and buy a house with Gao Yuan before marriage.
The house was transferred by her classmates, a three-bedroom apartment that had only been renovated for more than a year.
In the local area, the names of two people can be written for unmarried houses, but if they cannot jointly handle the provident fund loan procedures, only one of them can be the main lender.
Therefore, the purchase of a house is a lofty provident fund account.
02. Break up because the three views are not compatible
The total price of the house is about 1.4 million, and the down payment needs 420,000, which is Ding Jie.com. Gao Yuan couldn't come up with the money at that time, and she borrowed it privately from her aunt and aunt.
However, buying a house generates more than 50,000 taxes and fees, which is paid by Gao Yuan, with a mortgage of more than 5,000 yuan per month, and after Gao Yuan repays 1,800 yuan with the provident fund, the remaining 3,500 yuan is borne by her.
Because Gao Yuan said that she spent a lot of money and let her repay the loan together in order to save the money. As for Gao Yuan's own salary, he must save it for the marriage of the two.
By the time her parents learned that she had borrowed money from relatives to buy a house, it had been several days. Her parents were furious and scolded her.
Ding Jie moved to a new house in a huff.
She and Gao Yuan have a bedroom and live a sweet world of two.
As it is said in "The World of Man": "Two people only know whether they are fit or not when they are together." ”
It is said that love depends on the five senses, and getting along depends on the three views, which is true. She and Gao Yuan really lived together at close range, only to find that the difference between the two in the three views was so great.
Perhaps there is no "love filter", or perhaps it is the slack after the wood has become a boat, the two people have lived together for less than half a year, and they have already jumped and are full of devastation.
Because of some trivial matters, the two broke up. Ironically, the parents finally compromised and agreed to their marriage.
Ding Jie was embarrassed. What made her even more embarrassed was that Gao Yuan refused to return the money to buy a house to him and let her move away.
She was angry and said, "I have 420,000 yuan out of this house, and I also have my name, why should I move away?" ”
Gao Yuan said: "You have 420,000, and the house is still mine." ”
Gao Yuan believes that the house was bought with his provident fund loan, and that as the main lender, the house should be his.
03. After the breakup, the man's family of 5 squeezed out of the new house
Ding Jie refused to leave, the down payment of the house was paid by her, and two-thirds of the monthly mortgage was also paid by her, and she would not move away without returning the money to her.
Who knows, after the two had been deadlocked for a week, Gao Yuan's parents, grandmother, and sister's family of 5 all moved in, not only filling the room, but also occupying the living room sofa.
Ding Jie had seen this kind of formation before, and she panicked to pack up her clothes and flee the new house. When she left, she warned Gao Yuan that if she did not pay back the money, she would go through the legal process.
Gao Yuan said: "I will definitely pay you back the money, but you also know the situation in my family, I have to repay the loan every month, I want to live, how can I come up with so much money at once..."
Gao Yuan plans to pay off her money in 8 years, and also said with full confidence:
"This house is my only house, my family is in financial difficulties, even if you go to sue, the house is still mine, the money still has to be returned to you in installments, why bother, is it good to gather and disperse?"
Ding Jie was furious and angrily denounced Gao Yuan as a phoenix man...
After she calmed down, she consulted her friends around her, knowing that this matter was very tricky, and had no choice but to go back to her parents to discuss.
Her parents knew that she had been pitted after the breakup, did not blame her too much, came forward to negotiate with Gao Yuan without success, and decided to sue.
04. Marriage should be cautious, and the three views should be compatible
In the original work of "Heart Residence", it is said: "Many problems in life are virtual and real. Love is illusory, marriage is real. ”
Marriage is life, no matter how beautiful love is, it is necessary to return to the real life after all.
There is a sentence in "Strange Story": "The most difficult problems in life are often chai rice oil and salt, and the heaviest shackles are often trivial." ”
In real life, behind the oil and salt of chai rice and chicken feathers, it is often the three views of each other that are at work.
Therefore, we must be cautious when getting married, and we must think twice before doing it. Instead of regretting it when you break up, think deeply about it when you're in love.
Love is a necessary condition for marriage, but it is by no means the only condition.
Marriage, not just because of love, the ultimate purpose of marriage, is to be happy.
A happy and harmonious marriage requires a material foundation in addition to an emotional basis. In addition to these two foundations, we must not ignore the three views.
The three views are combined, and the marriage can be comfortable and long-lasting.
What do you think Ding Jie should do to get her money back as soon as possible?
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