Decades of research by renowned stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that different thought patterns lead to different behavioral choices that ultimately influence future directions.
There is no fixed model for love, marriage, and family, but they need to operate, different thinking, and the results of operation are completely different.
Once most people find that the results are not ideal, the first reaction is how to change the status quo, and only a small number of people think of finding the reason from the root to avoid repeating the same mistakes, which is the gap between ordinary and excellent created by thinking.
The husband loves the liquor store and comes home every morning.
The wife was not happy and wanted him to be early, so she set up an access control: after 12 o'clock in the evening, she directly locked the door.
In the first few days, the effect was remarkable, the wife snickered, and after two weeks, it became the same old thing, and the wife really locked the door in anger, and as a result, the husband directly stayed in the hotel, not only did not come back, but the cost also increased.
The wife was very sad, went back to her mother's house to cry and complain, after the mother clicked, the first time to adjust the strategy after returning home, the access control was canceled, changed to: after 12 o'clock in the evening, the door was open to sleep.
The husband was frightened, and at this point, there was no late return.
Profit pulling works better than enforcing, the same problems, different thinking, creating different results.
Sister and boyfriend in love for a year and a half, after living together, the boyfriend is exposed, addicted to the game and lost his job, with the girlfriend's money to tip the anchor, directly beat people when quarrelling, the sister cried and went back to her mother's house for a few days, the boyfriend whispered to take people back, repeatedly for half a year, the mother's family is tired.
The younger sister persuaded the sister to break up.
My sister said that this relationship is like eating half of a meal, having already paid for it, and it is a pity to throw it away.
Sister took her sister to see a movie, just entered, my sister wanted to see another one, so I threw away the movie ticket in my hand and bought two more, my sister was a little angry that she was willful and wasteful, and my sister said that choosing the movie she liked was the most important, and she didn't choose well at the beginning, and what she lost was only the ticket money, and it was not only a waste of time to look at it hard, but also a good mood.
The sister seemed to have realized something, decisively broke up, and found another good person.
Decaying wood can not only block the forest, but also drag the sunk cost bigger and bigger, change your thinking, love has a way to live.
The little couple happily went to the real estate company to sign the contract, only to find that they forgot to bring their husband's ID card, and they would miss the good floor when they came back, and the wife was not happy, and immediately quarreled: "It's all your fault, I don't care, you are responsible." ”
The husband doesn't want to argue and pulls people away.
On the way back, the two passed the boulevard, and it just so happened that a lump of bird fell on the wife's head, and the husband took a look at it, and suddenly shouted at the bird: It's all your fault, I don't care, you are responsible. ”
His wife laughed and scolded him: "Neurosis, you just ate it, I don't have to wash my hair myself." ”
The husband turned back and said, "But no, even if I am wrong, we don't have a house to live in, and some responsibilities have to be borne by both of us." ”
Especially to the scumbaged idiot men and women, understand? Their fault is not that they are responsible, whose life is responsible.
Xiao Chen looked at a girl in the art school next door, after several turns and finally launched an offensive, the girl likes to eat crayfish, Xiao Chen suspects that the takeaway is not clean, deliberately find her sister to learn the craft, do more delicious than the restaurant, the girl likes to go to the comic exhibition, Xiao Chen not only buys tickets to accompany the scene, but also frantically supplements knowledge, in the two-dimensional field than the girl understands more, nevertheless, still encountered a strong competitor, a violin boy often gives the girl a performance ticket, the brothers unanimously believe that this time Xiao Chen is going to be finished, After all, the violin is not something that can be learned in a moment and a half.
Unexpectedly, Xiao Chen did not go to learn the piano, but picked up the stick figures he was good at.
The routine has changed! The brothers screamed.
Xiao Chen said unhurriedly: "Let Pan Changjiang play basketball, and Yao Ming play a sketch?" We have a measure, who said that stick figure painting does not have a luxurious side, maybe the brothers can't think of it, they have gone to apply for a painting class. ”
Taking advantage of strengths and avoiding weaknesses is not small wisdom, but great wisdom.
After telling a few stories, how can we go from ordinary to excellent? Is it difficult to quadruple or two pounds?
We all need to shift our thinking.
Let your mind take a turn, understand the world and reconcile with yourself.
Starting from the basics, focusing on attitudes and behaviors is a small step towards excellence.
Starting from the fundamentals, looking at the overall situation, and reversing thinking is a big step to start well.
How can you make your mind turn?
Reading more is the real shortcut, don't need much, starting today, read a book every month, starting with your favorite type.
Thinking more is the fastest way, in getting along, before getting angry, when making decisions, ask more questions, if not, what will happen, if I am the other party will see the problem.
Listen more and talk less, maybe you will hear a lot of nonsense, be patient, take what is good for you, open up the sources of information, break free of the cocoon, it is always right.