01
Bafali nix once said that marriage is a book, the first chapter is written in psalms, and the rest is bland prose.
A woman faces almost two completely different lives in both unmarried and married situations.
The mindset of first-time women is like a newborn baby, full of curiosity, passion and action. They aspire to a better and fresher life than when they were unmarried.
The experience of first marriage is as beautiful as the Psalms, but often women will inevitably encounter a century of difficulties in marriage, that is, how to get along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a cliché, but it is not always good, and everyone has never stopped the pace of resolving this problem.
Starting from China's traditional filial piety culture, the daughter-in-law must respect the elders, treat the mother-in-law better than her own mother-in-law to win praise and obtain a stable marriage.
In ancient times, the status of the mother-in-law was quite high, and the consequences of disobeying the mother-in-law's wishes were very serious. Even the mother-in-law can leave the daughter-in-law with a word. In the feudal era, daughters-in-law were subject to the control of their mother-in-law everywhere, and they were not allowed to complain a little.
How many daughters-in-law are waiting to become mothers-in-law, so that they can bully their daughters-in-law and find some comfort in their hearts.
In this way, such a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law mode of getting along is passed down from generation to generation.
In modern times, the status of women has begun to improve significantly, and their minds have become more open. Women are no longer hard-working and have no position of initiative in marriage.
However, the war is far from over, and the modern mother-in-law relationship still has new problems.
How many failures in modern marriages stem from mother-in-law, and how many women have spent their entire lives complaining about the injustices they have suffered in their in-laws' homes.
And encountering a brutal mother-in-law is even more restless in her married life, and it is difficult to go smoothly.
The advice I gave when I met the cruel mother-in-law was to help myself. If you don't get the initiative in this tricky mother-in-law relationship, you will either lose the marriage or lose a lot of money yourself.
And smart women, even if they meet the cruel mother-in-law after marriage, can find their own advantageous weapons to protect themselves, and the cruel mother-in-law has no choice but to make a move. And they often have the following three characteristics.
02
The first feature: there is a strong mother-in-law.
Money is the biggest confidence of an adult.
One of the characteristics of a powerful mother's family is that it is rich.
It is rumored that money can solve ninety-nine percent of life's troubles, obviously including the problem of encountering a cruel mother-in-law in marriage.
Generally speaking, the mother-in-law's pickiness about the daughter-in-law is similar. For example, waste love to spend money, do not go to work is particularly lazy, can not cook and do housework and so on. These complaints basically don't happen to the girls of the rich mother's family, because the money you spend is all your own.
When living with a cruel mother-in-law is unpleasant, your parents may pay for another apartment to give you a chance to stay away from your mother-in-law because they are distressed.
When the marriage is a chicken feather, and the mother-in-law is still stirring up muddy waters, you can get a divorce freely. Because the mother's home is your eternal harbor, to rely on you.
Naturally, the cruel mother-in-law knows in her heart that the rich daughter-in-law has more confidence, and she does not dare to indulge too much, after all, she does not want her son to really divorce.
In economics, the economic base determines the superstructure. The strength of the mother's family is strong, and the life of the in-laws is naturally confident and can be at will.
The mother's family has money, not only the mother-in-law, but also the entire in-law family will be jealous of three points, and even take the initiative to please. And if there is no rich mother-in-law support, then you must work hard to win respect.
Money is the sharpest weapon to cut off the entanglement of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The characteristics of a powerful mother's family are not only rich, but also "people".
As the saying goes, "The daughter who marries out, the water that is spilled out". In modern times, more and more families also attach great importance to their daughters, who are still the most beloved children in the family after marriage.
How much your relatives value you, how much your in-laws are jealous of you.
"Someone in the mother's family" will give you enough confidence in this marriage, so that you do not have to seek perfection when you are wronged, because you know that there will always be someone behind you who will help you and support you. When it comes to what decisions you want to make, you are not afraid to be constrained. Because there is always a home, a group of people is your eternal haven.
I hope that every girl has a strong and warm mother's family to accompany the marriage for a long time, whether it is material or spiritual support, it is the most powerful force you have traveled through the long road of marriage.
03
The second trait: kind and sharp.
Kindness is always the sexiest quality of women.
But kindness without sharpness is, at best, weakness.
Ralph once said: "Your kindness must be a little sharp, otherwise it is equivalent to zero".
And women who are kind and sharp in marriage are prone to form a flattering personality for their mother-in-law, and they will not refuse and fight back when they are subjected to unreasonable demands and verbal attacks.
All the advantages of blindly kind women in marriage are no longer advantages, they only know that your good nature can be bullied. For your value, your position, has long been out of mind.
Remember, you have to be kind, and you have to be sharp.
A kind and sharp woman in marriage is usually gentle and courteous, but once the mother-in-law touches the bottom line, cheating too much will quickly fight back. They clearly know that people do not offend me and I do not offend.
Naturally, after the cruel mother-in-law ate several times, she knew that the daughter-in-law was not good at bullying.
Learn to express your dissatisfaction in a timely manner, directly say "no" to unreasonable requests, recognize that the relationship between people is mutual, and bravely defend your material and emotional interests in marriage.
Mader said: "You can not bully anyone, but you must have the blood and guts not to be bullied by anyone."
The sharp women in marriage make the cruel mother-in-law jealous, and in this war, they bravely choose to protect themselves.
Let others know the cost of bullying you once, and she will not dare to try it again.
In fact, every kind and lovely person is a treasure, and while you warm others, you should warm yourself. Sometimes, the little thorns you grow are what makes you better.
04
The third characteristic: know how to hide behind the husband in case of trouble.
As the saying goes: a spoiled woman is best to die.
A woman and husband in a marriage who will spoil are always affectionate. The look of pity I saw naturally aroused my husband's desire to protect you.
When he encounters his mother-in-law's difficulties, how can he bear to watch chuchu poor you being bullied? Naturally, he will take the initiative to resolve the contradiction between you and your mother-in-law and not let you be wronged.
In addition to being a spoiled child, when encountering a brutal mother-in-law, you must also learn to transfer contradictions and make big things small.
When the mother-in-law makes accusations and complaints, it is appropriate to use the husband as a shield, and naturally the mother-in-law will not say anything for the sake of her son.
It is a wise choice to put the husband in the position of the first master of the family, and not to rush to the first place in the in-laws' house.
Sometimes, the efficiency of communication with her husband is much higher than that of her mother-in-law, and adjusting her husband is far faster than adjusting her mother-in-law.
In the eyes of some mothers-in-law, it may be that the daughter-in-law will always be an outsider.
Since it may never be integrated, it is better to focus on the small family with the husband, as for the in-laws, the matter of the in-laws is naturally solved by the husband, and it is better to keep a distance.
Don't leave yourself alone in your marriage, and you don't need to fight alone.
Your pillow person is your dependency, the person you can trust the most. It is also the person your mother-in-law loves and cares about the most.
He is the most critical leader in the position of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. When you complain, it is better to talk to him well; when you are overwhelmed, it is better to let him help you. Don't forget, he's the one you love the most and the one who loves you the most.
This "middleman" is the terminator of the mother-in-law war.
05
When we live in a cold and bustling city, family is the only place we can rest.
No matter what the role, please understand a little more, argue less, and don't let quarrels and endless contradictions become the theme of home.
Everyone we meet from birth is a stranger except for our parents and loved ones. What kind of fate and opportunities do we need to become a family again?
Cherish this hard-won fate, even if you are not the first people in each other's lives to meet, even if you have many times when you make each other miserable.
Happiness in marriage is hard-won, and every role in the relationship is crucial.
I hope that no matter what role you are, you can get the greatest happiness and joy in your family relationship.
Text/No Pen