Text/Themi Mama (original article, welcome to share and forward personally)
Hello everyone, I'm Themi's mother~
As the old saying goes: Men are afraid of entering the wrong line, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man.
The choice of marriage is a major event in a person's life, and what kind of person you choose as a partner will get what kind of life you will get.
However, for these golden words, we may not have too much experience and resume, and sometimes we often have a half-understanding, and it is easy to go astray because of appearances.
As many people say: only after experiencing it, you know what you are facing.
Especially for women, in the choice of marriage, more cautious and cautious, after all, from their own point of view, women are still in a weak position, sometimes once the wrong step, may have a huge impact on their own life.
Next, I would like to share with you a true story that happened to me, and I hope that female friends will gain something on the issue of marriage choice and belonging.
01. Ex-husband alcoholism, domestic violence, after the second marriage to live into the way they want
I have a cousin, is the child of the third aunt's family, the hometown is Xi'an, in the process of working to meet her ex-husband, and later the feelings warmed up, married to the ex-husband's hometown of Weinan.
When the two families talk about marriage, everything feels very good, the cousin's ex-husband seems to be more diligent and diligent, has been saving money over the years, and more importantly, in the arrangement of the wedding, all aspects of the performance are more frugal, everyone praises is a good man who will live a good life.
In fact, this appearance has blinded my cousin and all of us.
Not long after the marriage, I wanted a big treasure, everything seemed to be calm, and the days gradually flourished.
But until one day, the cousin suddenly ran back to her mother's house in a panic, her body was full of scars, until then, everyone knew how many sins the cousin had suffered over the years.
It turned out that the cousin's ex-husband had an alcoholic and abusive behavior, and every time after drinking, he would come home and scold his cousin, and even when he was not yet married, this situation occurred.
What is even more heinous is that when her cousin was pregnant, her ex-husband also scolded her cousin several times and even did not let her cousin sleep all night.
The cousin had a child at that time, and she had no choice but to swallow her anger, and the cousin's in-laws already knew about this situation.
Every time his son beat his daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law would "pretend" to come out and persuade him twice, and the words he said were even more unbelievable: "Lighten up, the children are asleep."
In the face of such a hearty in-law family, the cousin really couldn't bear it, and finally by chance, a person escaped back to her mother's house.
Later, the cousin's ex-husband used the child as a threat, indicating that he was a scoundrel, did not sign a divorce agreement, and in desperation, he could only appeal, and after a long time, the cousin escaped from the magic cave.
Now the cousin has restarted her life, although she took her eldest daughter after the second marriage, she was spoiled by her husband as a little girl, and the cousin's daughter was also regarded as her own child by her current husband, which is really enviable.
Because of the occurrence of this matter, but also let me have a lot of feelings, in the matter of girls choosing marriage, we must be cautious, the most important thing is not to see whether the man's conditions are good or not, but to see whether the following 3 aspects are qualified, let's understand it together.
02. Men fail in 3 aspects, and no matter how good the conditions are, don't marry
Some people say that a woman is like a good wine, and only a man who can taste it is worth having.
Therefore, if a man fails in the following aspects, even if the conditions are good, do not marry easily.
Macho men
Take my cousin's ex-husband, from the marriage to the end of the wedding, he came forward to talk to the cousin's family, all kinds of use, arrangement, but also very in place, at that time everyone felt that this young man had a responsibility, but in fact, this is actually a manifestation of his machismo.
Later, I learned that where my cousin was going to go every day, how long she went, and what time she came back, she had to be monitored by others at all times, and this kind of day, to be honest, was simply too depressing and frightening.
Therefore, the man who looks responsible on the surface, you have to further determine whether it is caused by his own machismo.
Because this kind of man tends to use his own thoughts and behaviors to restrain his partner, and thinks that he has a high status and thinks that his wife should listen to him.
Once this is the case, we need to think clearly about whether it is worth entrusting for life.
Men with violent tendencies
We all know that hands-on cannot solve the problem, but only increases the seriousness of the situation.
For men with violent tendencies, they are inherently incapable of solving problems reasonably, and they will expand the harm to the other half.
Especially when some men pursue their partners, they behave gently, but after they really enter the palace of marriage, you will find that this is not the case, which is the most terrible situation.
Because women themselves are not as oppressive as men in terms of physical condition, it is inevitable that they will suffer losses.
And to see if a man is violent, not to see his attitude toward you, but to see his attitude towards the people around him, especially to those who are vulnerable, we can spy on one or two.
After all, marriage will become flat as water in the end, and we must take precautions.
Ma Bao male male
The two words mabao have been mentioned in recent years.
In fact, the most helpless point for this kind of man is that he does not have his own opinion and ability to deal with his own problems, and once the problem is handed over to his mother, then the role and status of the partner are naturally in an embarrassing situation.
Moreover, since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been more complicated, and ma bao men will promote this relationship to become more complicated.
Therefore, when women and ma bao men get along together, it is difficult to integrate into their new family, and it is difficult to have happiness.
03. Mother Themi's message:
The choice of marriage is not a whim, which has the growth of love and the comprehensive consideration after weighing the pros and cons.
In this life, although it is difficult to have both in many things, we must find the soul that fits, only in this way can we taste the various tastes of sour, sweet and bitter in the plain as water married life.
Finally, I also hope that every female friend, when choosing the other half of marriage, can polish her eyes and avoid being hurt.