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01 Men and women have different attitudes towards love
I have seen such a question and answer on the internet: What is love for men and women?
I have seen such an answer: for men, love is passion, is to give, is to be together; for women love is protection, love is care, love is careful, is to care.
So essentially, women and men have different needs for love, so their perceptions of love are also different.
I have seen such a sentence: love is like sand, the tighter the grip, the easier it is to lose. Oh, yes! Whether it is a man or a woman, the tighter the grip, the easier it is for love to slip away.
So in fact, whether for men or women, the best love is actually respect, is to give, but also to care.
But in reality, there are many people who love each other, hurting each other with love, but they don't know it, in their view, I love you, this is deep love for you, but I don't know that the other party is hurt by this deep love.
An expert once said: What can bring harm is not love, and true love will not bring harm!
Deeply.
Yes, we always hurt others in the name of loving you, and I think this kind of love is also not needed by the other party.
02 True love, not hurt
True love is to respect each other and to care about each other, not to hurt each other.
Friend Xiaoqi has experienced a period of love that has been hurt to the point of losing hope in life, she is a person with personality, has her own ideas, and is a typical new woman in this era.
However, such a person with personality and ideas was tortured by her husband to the point of not being human after marriage.
When it comes to her acquaintance with her husband, Xiao Qi's heart is sweet and bitter.
She and her husband met at a friend's party, in fact, at the first party, Xiao Qi had a boyfriend, and Xiao Qi came with her boyfriend.
And the husband is also on the scene, this time, the husband has a good feeling for Xiao Qi, and this party, Xiao Qi and her boyfriend finally broke up because of the quarrel.
Later, after a while, there was a second party, Xiao Qi came alone, and her husband was also alone.
At that time, Xiao Qi lost love not long ago, Xiao Qi felt uncomfortable, so a person sat next to drink alcohol, and the husband on the side saw it, came to accompany Xiao Qi to drink together, and finally Xiao Qi drank a lot.
The husband successfully sent Xiao Qi home, on the way Xiao Qi cried and mistook her husband for a boyfriend, scolded him with her hand and said to him: "Do you know how much I love you?" But you see, what have you done? "After saying that, I fell asleep crying.
When her husband saw Xiao Qi so heartbroken, his heart became more and more unbearable, and his desire to take care of Xiao Qi became more and more intense.
After this time, the husband began to pursue Xiao Qi, and Xiao Qi felt that her husband was a good person after a period of contact, so they were together.
After being together, Xiao Qi also loved her husband with all her heart, but her husband's heart was always insecure, and she always felt that Xiao Qi had an ex-boyfriend in her heart.
03 "He loved me for 5 years, but I hated him for 5 years!"
Although he has no sense of security, he loves XiaoQi deeply, and many times he also feels that Xiaoqi loves himself, so his heart is always in a tangled and contradictory situation.
Later, after spending more than a year together, the two got married, and after getting married, both of them changed a lot, and both worked hard for the small family.
Xiao Qi works hard to make money, her husband is also trying to make money, Xiao Qi will make the money she earns in the home, she wants to decorate the home more warmly, and the money earned by her husband, they have saved.
In this way, the life was very happy, but not long after, something happened, making Xiao Qi's life in the future like purgatory.
That night, Xiao Qi fell asleep, while her husband was not sleepy, so he played with his mobile phone.
Xiao Qi, who was asleep, had a dream and dreamed of her ex-boyfriend, and what was worse was that Xiao Qi said the dream and said the name of her ex-boyfriend.
In fact, it is a very insignificant dream, Xiao Qi dreamed that she and her husband went to play, but the ex-boyfriend was also there, and the ex-boyfriend wanted to hold his hand, Xiao Qi instinctively called his name, refused, but all this was heard by the husband, the husband did not think so, this night the husband was sleepless, and Xiao Qi did not know anything.
The next day, Xiao Qi was ready to tell her husband about the dream, but she was afraid that her husband would be too careful, so she didn't say anything.
Later, the husband was still good to Xiao Qi, cooking and washing and even sending gifts for Xiao Qi, but he was also more cruel to Xiao Qi, such as arguing with Xiao Qi when he did not agree with him, and every time he quarreled, he would push Xiao Qi hard, or keep Xiao Qi still in bed.
Pinching his neck, he asked, "Who do you love?" Every time Xiao Qi said it was him, he sneered and apologized to Xiao Qi afterwards.
And the husband is getting more and more crazy, more and more cruel to Xiao Qi, more and more exaggerated, and even once took advantage of Xiao Qi's sleep to delete all the men in Xiao Qi's mobile phone.
Later, Xiao Qi could not stand to file for divorce, but her husband not only disagreed, but threatened Xiao Qi, and even cried and begged Xiao Qi not to divorce, he loved Xiao Qi very much.
Xiao Qi had been 5 years like this, and Xiao Qi cried and said, "He loved me for 5 years, but I hated him for 5 years!" ”
04 The fruits of marriage are all traceable
In fact, instead of saying that Xiaoqi hated her husband for 5 years, it is better to say that Xiaoqi is a mixture of love and hate for 5 years, what she hates is her husband's attitude and way of herself, but because she loves her husband, she can endure it at first, and only later began to become more and more intolerable.
In fact, the husband, should have been able to untie the happy knot with Xiao Qi, but he never said it, obviously had doubts, but suppressed not to say, and finally the psychological backlog was more and more, and finally he couldn't stand it, and he would burst out fiercely every time he couldn't control it.
At the beginning, when they met, the husband planted the shadow of Xiao Qi's ex-boyfriend in his heart, but later when the two were together, Xiao Qi loved him, he felt Xiao Qi's love, and this shadow would become more and more faint, but until later, Xiao Qi called her boyfriend's name.
At that moment, the shadow that had been suppressed suddenly broke out, and he no longer believed his feelings, but preferred to believe that Xiao Qi loved her ex-boyfriend.
In fact, Xiao Qi is wrong, the fault is not to tell her husband about her dreams, but her husband is more wrong, the fault is that he does not trust Xiao Qi, and his personality has relatively inferiority, so he will always think to the bad side, so that Xiao Qi's marriage has become like this.
05 Marriage requires trust
In fact, in a marriage, trust is very important.
And trust can solve most of the problems that arise in marriage, such as mother-in-law problems, such as emotional problems, such as economic problems, etc.
So whether there is trust in the marriage is really important.
In fact, human nature may be complicated, but it is far less complicated than we think.
No one will marry someone she doesn't love, and no woman will want to live a good life with someone she doesn't love, and once she can get a woman to live a good life, then this man must be the man she likes.
So don't think too complicated, and don't be ruined by the imagination in your own heart.
Nina O'Neill once said that trust is the most important trait shared by two people in a marriage relationship, and it is also indispensable for building a pleasant, growing relationship.
Once trust is lost in a marriage, then the marriage is in jeopardy.
Therefore, in marriage, it is very important to learn to communicate, when you have doubts, do not rush to deny the other party, but to say your doubts and give the other party the opportunity to explain.
In fact, it is not so much to give each other a chance, but rather to give yourself and your marriage a chance.
Only in this way will the marriage be long-lasting, the love will be stable, and I hope that the two people in the marriage can get along with each other with trust and are willing to trust each other.
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Today's Topic:
Do you think Xiao Qi's husband is doing the right thing? What would you do if you were Xiao Qi?