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Text: Sunny wind
There is such a sentence on the Internet that is very hot: the breakup should be decent, and no one has to say sorry.
However, in reality, there are too few people who can really do a decent breakup, and many people complain about each other when they break up, and they are dissatisfied with each other.
So the two began to argue, began to quarrel, and even had serious differences.
01
A relationship that is easy to start and hard to end
In the world of relationships, every relationship is easy at the beginning, but at the end, it's hard.
Because in the beginning, we were holding a loving mentality, a caring mentality, and a good attitude to face, but if we broke up, we were actually holding a state of unwillingness.
Not willing to let the other party not love themselves, not willing to pay so much, not willing to end this relationship.
So the more unwilling we are, the more painful, the more unwilling, the more unable to break up well, so that when we break up, we are always entangled.
I once saw a Q&A on the Internet: What do you think the best breakup is like?
But no matter what it is, we will find that in fact, what everyone wants is a peaceful breakup, and only a peaceful breakup can be regarded as not to live up to this relationship.
After all, two people who once loved each other so much, neither of them wants to make a fuss in the end, and neither of them wants the last one between the two to hate one.
So when each of us talks about breaking up, we actually hope that the more decent the better.
02
Many relationships, at the end, are difficult to be decent
Why can't many relationships end up decent?
In fact, the biggest reason is that one of them is not willing.
For example, when they were once in love, one person gave too much, and one person did a lot of things for the other party, but the other party not only did not treat their love well, but even did not take them seriously.
Slowly these grievances will accumulate, when the backlog is more, there will be problems with feelings, once there is a problem with feelings, in the end, no matter who said the breakup, the breakup will not be decent.
Because in this relationship, too much effort has been poured into a person, in this relationship, a person is too wronged, a person is too painful, so when they break up, they can't calm down and can't convince themselves to face the breakup.
It is easy to make extreme behaviors, such as making a big fight with the other party, such as not letting go and so on.
In fact, behind these not easy to break up, it is a person's deep love, a person's unwillingness.
But even so, we must understand that no matter how unwilling we are at this time, the other party is no longer in love, and what you do is useless, rather than this, it is better to break up decently.
In "After the End of time", it is said: "Every time you say goodbye, you have to work harder." Say one more sentence, probably the last. One more look, and that may be the last glance. ”
Oh, yes! Maybe this breakup is the last time to talk, it is the last time to meet, not to be red-eyed, but to be peaceful, to leave some good memories for each other.
03
In fact, the most decent way to say goodbye is to break the connection
When a relationship is about to end and we see that there is no way to save it, we must choose a decent breakup, after all, we can't change anything by entanglement, we will only ruin our good image.
Therefore, after the end of the first relationship, it is necessary to learn to break the connection, and the disconnection is also the most decent breakup.
Just like Yingfeng wrote in "Fifteen Years waiting for migratory birds": Life is like a train, entering the station, some people will get on the train, and some people must get off. After a journey together, it is time to let go, which is the best end for each other.
Love well when you love, and be brave enough to let go when you break up.
After all, the world of love is not a decision, it is the life of two people, the world of two people, only two people love to continue, if one person does not love, then no matter how much you want to continue, how much love, it is useless, after all, the world of feelings, is a matter of two people.
Therefore, when a relationship cannot continue, the other party proposes to break up, do not cry, do not entangle, but bravely let go, and then break the connection with the other party.
Maybe you are very heartache, maybe you are very uncomfortable, then put away this heartache and discomfort, when you are alone, slowly mediate, rather than in front of the other party to perform, to know that the other party at this time does not love you, what you do is useless, the important thing is that even if you cry, it can not change anything.
It is better to leave the best side of yourself, give yourself a decent face, and give the other party a decent face.
04
As adults, separation should be decent
The adult world is not easy, whether it is facing feelings or facing life.
When a relationship doesn't go on as I expected, then be brave and let it go! Decent letting go is not without grievances, but only wanting to say goodbye with dignity, because only a decent goodbye can live up to the love that was once there.
Just like the Tang Dynasty said in the "Book of Letting Go of The Wife", after he and his wife divorced, they said 8 words to their wives: one is different and two wide, and each is happy.
The simple eight words illustrate the love that has been there and also give the best wishes to the wife.
In fact, the world of feelings is like this, the more you break up decently, the more the other party appreciates you, the more the other party will feel that there is nothing wrong with meeting you, it is not wrong to fall in love with you, and it is not wrong to care about you.
In "Predecessor 3", there is such a sentence: Goodbye and live up to the encounter.
In fact, sometimes, it is not because we have let go of it, but more to live up to the past encounters and the love we once had.
Let the love we once loved become meaningful, and let the love we once loved be worth remembering.
So when a guy doesn't love you, break up decently! Then break the connection, do not dwell, do not cry, do this, is the greatest dignity of an adult.
This decency is for oneself, but also for the other party.
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