Wife: "Husband, what part of my body do you like the most?" The husband thought for a moment and said, "Ass." Wife: "Nasty, why do you like it there?" Husband: "The mouth will scold me, face."

Wife: "Husband, what part of my body do you like the most?" The husband thought for a moment and said, "Ass." Wife: "Nasty, why do you like it there?" Husband: "The mouth will scold me, the face will kill me, the hands will hit me, the feet will kick me, only the ass will not bully me!" Wife: "Do you believe that I sat on your ass and killed you?" ”?

2. A village held a meeting to discuss the reform of funerals to save land resources, and the villagers expressed their opinions, and the uncle said: "I suggest!" No need for coffins, save money and land. The second uncle said: "I think it can be more provincial to bury it vertically." Grandpa slammed the smoking gun and said slowly, "I see, only half of it is buried vertically, even the tombstone is saved, and I know who died when I look at it!" ”

3. My mother-in-law secretly helped me pay off the 690,000 yuan I owed and gave me a ferrari. All this on the condition that I marry her daughter. A month after the marriage, my wife suddenly said to me, "Honey, I don't want to spend time with you." I didn't answer, and the tears couldn't help but flow. The wife suddenly panicked and hurriedly said, "Don't cry, I was just talking about playing." "Me! Wiping away the tears, he said, "No, the main thing is that happiness came too suddenly." "Alas! The couch was too hard to sleep well all night.

4. During the summer vacation, I sent my 6-year-old son to the house of my in-laws in the countryside. This morning my son was clamoring for pizza, and my father-in-law went to McDonald's early in the morning to please him. The waiter said: Hello uncle, what do you need? My father-in-law said: I want fries, burgers, chicken rice flowers, colonel chicken nuggets! Waiter: Okay, do you want a copy? Father-in-law: What does one copy mean? You give me a pound for everything!

5. Went to a friend's birthday party a few days ago. Because I was still at work when I was notified! No time to prepare gifts. When I saw it, I saw that the couch was lined up with watches, fur coats, LV bags and other valuable gifts! I looked at the box of "Master Kong Beef Noodles" wrapped in my hand: the scene was silent! I know she used to love eating this brand of noodles.

6. Because of her beautiful appearance, there were many rich second generations chasing her madly in school, and the mother-in-law knew that it would affect her studies, so she transferred her to a private school. When she first arrived at the new school, her sister-in-law fell in love with a boy in her class. On Valentine's Day, in class, he sat behind his sister-in-law, and during the class he patted her on the shoulder: Finally waiting for this moment, can you promise me one thing? The sister-in-law was very excited, looking forward to his next confession, and nodded her head. The boy looked around for a moment, lowered his voice and whispered: If the teacher comes to tell me, I'm going to sleep, thank you.

7. Wu Lao'er was a strict wife, and everyone laughed at him for this. At a dinner party, a colleague gave him a trick: You see people Wu Song, heroic, drank eighteen bowls of wine, three fists and two feet beat a tiger to death. Encouraged, Wu Lao'er drank 18 zha of beer in the hotel and went back with a strong shoulder. The next day at work, colleagues saw that Wu Lao'er's nose was blue and his face was swollen, and he still had bandages on his hands and asked why. Wu Lao'er was embarrassed: "Fighting the tiger is not successful, but I am injured by the tiger, and my family's tigress is much more powerful than the real tiger!"

8. When I was walking on the road after work, an old man was directly in front of me, drawing one circle after another in his hand. When I saw it, I asked Grandpa if this was Tai Chi or was he simulating playing mahjong? Grandpa looked at me and said, "Boy, I know a lot, do you usually like to read?" I replied, "Okay, I like it." At this time, the old man smiled and said, "That's right, ugly people have to read more books..."

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #

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