01
There is a saying in the countryside: "When a daughter grows up, sooner or later she will have to marry; she must rely on her son for the elderly." ”
Some people liken their daughters to "investment work" and sons to "construction work". The implication is that when the son grows up, he wants his parents to help build a house and marry his daughter-in-law; after the son gets married, he has to support his family. Daughters are different, when they grow up, who to marry, but also want the other party to give a huge dowry money, in the future can also choose to be a housewife, clothes to reach out to open their mouths.
Reality, however, gives us a hard blow. Those middle-aged parents who only have daughters at home are not easy and still need to work hard.
02
First, "raising children and raising daughters can prevent old age" is a good wish, parents are old, can not rely too much on their children, need to learn to rely on themselves.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", Gu Jia's father, for the sake of his daughter's life, broke his heart.
When Gu Jia was more than ten years old, her mother passed away, and her father became a father and a mother, surviving countless sad days.
Once, Gu Jia discussed with her father and wanted her father to move in and live with her.
His father refused, he said that he wanted to go to a nursing home, and several elderly people in the community went, and the conditions were good.
He also refused his son-in-law's invitation, saying: "This is impossible, my daughter is not easy today, I did not help, just forget it." ”
Parents all over the world are the same, afraid of causing trouble to their children. I am more worried that two generations living together will cause contradictions.
It is not that the daughter is not filial piety, but that the daughter should be filial to her parents, depending on the attitude of the son-in-law, the economic level of the family, the opinions of the in-laws and mother-in-law, and so on.
It is not easy and undesirable to live in her daughter's house for a long time.
Therefore, many parents, under the premise of desperately supporting their children to grow up, help themselves save a pension money and buy a good pension house.
03
Second, "the son-in-law is also half a child", and some parents hope to create favorable family conditions to recruit a door-to-door son-in-law.
The Ming Dynasty writer Feng Menglong wrote about an old man named Guoshan, who had a son at home, but he insisted on recruiting a son-in-law because his son liked to spend money indiscriminately.
When he was too old, his son-in-law Chen Xiaoji undertook all the tasks of old-age care and managed the family's land and house properly.
As a parent, I often think that "the son-in-law is also half a child", as long as the feelings are good and the character is right, you can treat it as a son.
However, recruiting a son-in-law requires the woman's family to be well-off, and if it is too shabby, outsiders will look down on it.
Dowry money, the mother's career, savings, house, etc., are all within the scope of the son-in-law's consideration. Moreover, it is only possible to reach an agreement if the other family has several sons.
Therefore, many middle-aged people, when their children are still young and need less expenses, they desperately save money and create industries, and they cannot relax themselves for a moment. When the daughter grows up, it is often too late to consider the problem of recruiting a son-in-law.
04
Third, "the daughter is the parent's little cotton jacket", can not be sloppy, need to spend a lot of money, cultivate talents.
There is a question in Zhihu: When getting married, is it too much to ask your boyfriend to give a dowry of 500,000?
Gao Zan's answer is: Why do some women not understand it, and still say that they are confused? Yes, a hundred million is not too much. People don't give it too much. You feel that you are worth this price, people think you are not worth this price, this is the market game.
If you calculate carefully, you will find that it takes more than half a million yuan to raise a daughter. From the birth of the child, buying clothes, milk powder, from kindergarten to college graduation, usually eating, socializing, the cultivation of hobbies, etc., are inseparable from money.
One of my cousins, in order to send his daughter to the city for junior high school, bought a house in front of the school and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars. The idea of cultivating her daughter into a talent is evident.
Raising two daughters and raising two sons, the cost is almost the same, don't think, all parents, prefer sons to daughters, treat their daughters as "weeds".
For the sake of their daughter's future, parents really put a lot of effort into it. If men feel that the bride price is too much, then learn to think in empathy. Although feelings are not business, feelings also have value.
05
Fourth, "marriage pays attention to the door to the door", a good mother's family is the daughter's confidence to be a person, and it can also allow the daughter to meet an excellent in-laws.
In one episode of "Do Not Disturb", the host and the guest discussed a topic together - marriage must be a door-to-door, right?
Meng Fei asked: "If the relationship between two people is very good, but the family background is very different, how to deal with it?" ”
Huang Shengyi said: "As long as the values are the same, you can discuss it." ”
Tu Lei's attitude was firm: "I have always insisted on this matter: love does not distinguish between high and low, noble and low, but marriage must be right at the door." ”
Love can't just help the poor.
If a man meets a woman who he likes very much, but is from a very bad family, he will also recoil. After all, it is not an easy task for a man to support several elderly people.
There are also some women, after getting married, not only to manage their parents, but also to manage their brothers to study and start a family.
A woman with no family background, it is really difficult to marry into the rich. Cinderella may meet Prince Charming, but love each other, most likely in fairy tales, not in life.
As the saying goes, "Three years old sees old age." ”
From the child's living habits and learning situation when she was a child, we can determine what kind of person she will become when she grows up and who she will marry.
Women are good enough, then who she is in love with, have the confidence, and will wisely avoid scumbags.
06
People are not as good as dogs in middle age. Parents who have two daughters, too, do not have the heart to think of their daughters feeding themselves, nor can they wait for the "bride price money" to retire.
Actor Zeng Zhiwei said: "If you are not mixed well, don't mention that you are Zeng Zhiwei's daughter." ”
Daughter Zeng Baoyi, whether in the hosting industry or in the acting industry, has several brushes, which is impressive. Behind it, how much Zeng Zhiwei has paid, only he himself knows best.
Parents are a mirror for their daughters, how can parents not fight?
Sons and daughters are descendants, and we must not be prejudiced.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.