1. The husband hears that his wife is having an affair and designs revenge. One night, my wife slept soundly and rubbed concentrated rat poison on her chest. The next night, the wife returned late, and when the husband asked why, the wife said sadly, "We."

1. The husband hears that his wife is having an affair and plots revenge. One night, my wife slept soundly and rubbed concentrated rat poison on her chest. The next night, the wife returned late, and when the husband asked why, the wife said sadly and indignantly, "Our leader has been poisoned and killed!" The husband asked, "Do you know who did it?" The wife said: "The murderer is quite cunning, and even the police can't find out the poison through what channel, but there are already clues, and they are investigating Sanlu and Shengyuan milk powder." The husband asked, "Why?" The wife said, "When the leader was breathing, he said, "Oh my God! Is there still safe milk in the world?

2. A rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father asked his son strangely: "How did you come back when you first arrived in China?!" The son said with some trepidation: "It's not good, China is going to attack the mainland, the streets and alleys are posted with slogans, writing "print", "laser printing", "fast printing", door-to-door printing, 3D printing." If I hadn't run so fast, I'm afraid I wouldn't have seen you!" Father said: Thanks to the fact that you have learned a little Chinese before, thank you!

3. The brother-in-law took a plane to travel abroad, fell in love with a beautiful flight attendant, and tried every means to add a V letter. Transfer 520 yuan to the V letter to the flight attendant at 5:20 every day! Every day I insisted on saying good morning and good night on the V letter, but the flight attendant never replied. I said, "A woman's nature is curious, and you still want to chase girls like that, look at me!" So I took my brother-in-law's mobile phone and sent a text message to the flight attendant: "I have just been reading the self-pai photos of your V-letter circle of friends, and I think there are 3 photos that are particularly beautiful!" The flight attendant replied with a text message: "Which 3 are good-looking?" The brother-in-law had an epiphany: "Or you have a way." ”

4. My wife was on a business trip, and I drove her Maserati to take a didi order, and then used the money to secretly buy a bag of Zhonghua. Worried that my wife would find out, I put the Chinese into a 10-dollar cigarette box. In the evening, Fa Xiao asked me to go to the barbecue stall for a drink, so I took out one for him. He looked at the cigarette for 10 yuan, a bit of a look of contempt, but he still lit it. After smoking for a while, he couldn't help but say: Oh, still smoke my brother. Then he took out a box of Zhonghua, smoked and said: This smoking is much more comfortable!?

5. My college buddy is a rich second generation, and after graduation, he opened a company with the 10 million yuan given by his family. Unfortunately, after the buddies have entrepreneurial experience, they personally came to the interview. In order to get the appreciation of the boss, the buddies used their own tricks and said a lot of their own ideas and experiences. After chatting for more than an hour, the boss stood up and shook hands with his buddies: "Thank you, finally know why you went out of business." ”

6. A friend introduced me to a girl, and the girl had already thrown up three times. I looked at her so uncomfortable and asked, "Are you unwell?" Or is the dish unappetizing? The girl said calmly: "I will confirm with you again, is the Rolls-Royce at the door yours?" I nodded! Girl: "Well, this dish is very suitable for my appetite, so let's continue eating!" "It feels like this girl is inexplicable...

7. Drive my Ferrari to work and wait at the intersection for a red light. As a result, I accidentally slipped away and rubbed a Maserati in the back. The other female driver, when she spent money to buy lessons, lost more than 10,000, and the mobile phone turned. After a while, the other party called, and I thought I had repented and wanted to add money. The other party said: Brother, do you want to rub it twice? I want to change my bag!

8. It's about to be a New Year's Day party, and everyone in the class has to sing a song and can't help but prepare. When the literary and artistic committee counted songs, he asked me to share the table; what do you sing? Table Mate: Wait a minute. The literary and art committee members looked at him, turned around, and left. After a while, he turned around again and asked his table mates: Do you want to sing anything? The table mate wondered: Didn't I just say that? Who knew that the literary and art committee member said angrily: You said, you told me to wait for a minute, I have waited for a minute, you still don't say, what do you really want! Play me!

9. The little uncle often fights at school, and the father-in-law has lost tens of thousands of yuan. In the end, the father-in-law was angry and directly sent the little uncle to the Shaolin Temple as a monk. Every time the little uncle did not practice seriously, the abbot would call his mother-in-law over. On this day, the little uncle really couldn't help it, and asked the abbot: I have a father, why do you call my mother every time I make a mistake? At this moment, the abbot's mood suddenly became very excited. He said angrily: Your father is also my apprentice, my heart disease is his anger, I really don't want to talk to him anymore.

#Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #