Text: Blue Dream
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As the saying goes: ten years to see the mother-in-law, ten years to see the daughter-in-law.
The time just after the door was the most difficult day for many daughters-in-law.
She had just arrived in an unfamiliar environment, everything needed to start all over again, and her heart was even afraid, but she didn't know how to say it. Especially after having children.
The daughter-in-law is used to living alone for many years, has no experience as a mother, and she is overwhelmed by the children who are waiting to be fed. Ignoring it, as a mother, she can't bear it; and caring for her children, she has not known how to care for her children, who has just become a mother. Coupled with the fact that the Internet is full of news that mothers have not taken good care of their babies and caused their babies to be hurt, at that moment, many daughters-in-law feel that life is extremely painful.
In this case, she would like to talk to her husband about the uneasiness in her heart. But seeing that he is tired every day, he can't help but be a little unbearable. Moreover, the birth of a child reduces a woman's attention to her husband, so even if she complains, he may not be able to listen carefully.
Research data shows that most couples divorce after having children. This is well understood. Women have rapidly transitioned from the role of a girl to the role of a mother due to their october pregnancy, and they will think about how to take care of the child, etc.; while most men have little contact with the baby, so it is difficult to enter the role of father. This makes him unable to empathize with women psychologically, so it is mostly difficult to understand her cries.
If the woman only occasionally cries and complains, it is okay, but most women become mothers for the first time, that kind of wandering, confusion makes her have to pour out the fear and irritability in her heart to the person she loves the most, that is, her husband, so the contradiction between the two is more and more, and after reaching a certain point, most couples will feel bored with each other, so they have made a divorce move.
During this period, there is a person who can play a big role, that is, the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law was also a daughter-in-law, and this life experience will make her more aware of the difficulties of the daughter-in-law, so as to use appropriate methods to soothe the anxiety of the daughter-in-law and help her to spend the most difficult moment for the daughter-in-law.
Of course, the mother-in-law's help to the daughter-in-law is not only this. A good mother-in-law will help the daughter-in-law from all aspects, in this case, the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law will be deeper, and the care for the mother-in-law will naturally be more attentive in the future.
The problem is that not all mothers-in-law do this.
Than how aunt.
Aunt He is more powerful, and at home it is said that it is one or the same. Even after her son got married, she was still like this.
Fortunately, Aunt He's daughter-in-law is gentle and filial, so the family can get along quite well.
But since having children, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become more and more obvious. Because the daughter-in-law gave birth to a daughter instead of a son, Aunt He felt unpleasant no matter how she looked at her daughter-in-law.
In other words, Aunt He's daughter-in-law also endured the past. But during the confinement period, it was when her body was relatively weak, plus she was a caesarean section, and her body had been unstable, so her mood was more irritable.
Perhaps for this reason, Aunt He's daughter-in-law's breast milk is delayed. She also thought of many ways to do this, but none of them worked. When she knew that her child could not eat breast milk and could only eat formula, her mood was extremely bad.
Fortunately, Aunt He's son is still more powerful, and has been standing by the side to comfort. However, it was this scene that stung Aunt He and made her feel that her son, whom she had raised with hard work, had become someone else.2 So he was more critical of his daughter-in-law.
In this case, Aunt He's daughter-in-law really couldn't stand it, so she had a big fight with Aunt He. Aunt He is strong and accustomed, how can she endure it? So he asked his daughter-in-law to get out, because this was her home.
Seeing that the daughter-in-law was indifferent, Aunt He directly went to pack her luggage. During this time, because she was too angry not to see the little granddaughter, she scratched the little granddaughter's face. This made Aunt He's daughter-in-law intolerable, so she called her parents directly and asked them to pick her up.
No one wants to watch their daughters suffer such humiliation, so aunt He's daughter-in-law's parents are busy taking their daughters away. And Aunt He was watching from the side, and did not say a word of redemption. The neighbors couldn't see it, and kept giving Aunt He a look and letting her keep her daughter-in-law, while Aunt He ignored it. And after the daughter-in-law's family left with a black face, she said that she did not like the daughter-in-law who could not have a son.
In the face of such a mother, the son has no choice, so he can only run to the daughter-in-law's house more, so that they don't see like their mother. At first, the daughter-in-law's family ignored him, but in the context of his frequent apologies, the mother-in-law softened her heart and opened her mouth to let him in. And Aunt He didn't say anything about coming to the door, not even a word of apology.
Aunt He's daughter-in-law was angry, and later under the guidance of her mother, she gradually wanted to open, so she worked hard with her husband to maintain the whole small family.
Aunt He's son can endure hardships, be honest and honest, and like to delve into business. And Aunt He's daughter-in-law took care of the whole family, husband and wife, the little life became more and more prosperous, first bought a house in the city, and then bought a house in the city.
When she learned that her mother-in-law had accidentally fallen and could no longer stand up and offered to let them retire, Aunt He's daughter-in-law had an opinion. But for the husband's sake, he really couldn't do anything as indifferent as his mother-in-law, so he secretly contacted the nurse through various channels.
But she really couldn't stand her mother-in-law's arrogance. Aunt He means that the nurse is still paying money, and the daughter-in-law simply resigns to take care of her! Anyway, the little granddaughter is also in college.
"Do we know each other?" The daughter-in-law was angry, and then began to talk about what her mother-in-law had done before, accusing her of driving herself out of the house because of the preference for sons and daughters, and the mother-in-law had not seen her daughter for so many years. Why should she justifiably allow herself to take care of her now?
Aunt He was even more aggrieved than her daughter-in-law. I didn't blame her for not having a second child, and her attitude towards herself was not good, she actually kicked her nose in the face and accused herself of not being.
But she felt that the grievances were useless, and now she still counted on her son and daughter-in-law to support her. The son is the pillar of the family, and the job cannot be quit. So she could count on her daughter-in-law. In this case, no matter how much she has, she will have to endure it herself.
Yang Lan said: Happiness does not fall from the sky, but grows from one's own heart.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law come from two different families, so it is inevitable that there will be contradictions in the process of getting along. But as long as each of them has a kind heart, especially the mother-in-law, who knows how to think for the daughter-in-law, then the daughter-in-law is naturally grateful, so the two hearts are close.
If it is like Aunt He, who treats her daughter-in-law with an indifferent attitude, it is no wonder that the daughter-in-law is cold.
Aunt He's daughter-in-law was still relatively good, and later found a nurse for Aunt He. But not every daughter-in-law can let go of the mustard in her heart for her mother-in-law. So the mother-in-law still tries to get along with the daughter-in-law!
END.