Lead
Parents are great, their love for their children is also the most selfless, many parents in life can give everything for their children, as long as they have it, they are willing to spend on their children. Some elderly people do not want their children to live too hard, so after retirement, they choose to go to their children's homes to help bring their grandchildren.
The old man is older, and the child is naughty, sometimes it is really unbearable, but in order for the children to be more relaxed, they still try their best to help. However, there are also some elderly people who have different views, and this part of the elderly believe that they have worked hard for most of their lives, and retirement life should be enjoyed well, and they can no longer live for their children and grandchildren.
However, if you do not help, it may affect the relationship with your children. So should the elderly help with their grandchildren after retirement? Let's take a look at the clever practices of an old couple.
Self-narrator: Uncle Zhou
I am 68 years old, my wife is 65 years old, we have both retired, both of them have a monthly pension of about 12,000 yuan, and now their later life is also enjoyable.
In fact, when I was young, my family's life was not very good, my parents had a total of six children, I was the youngest in the family, and the only boy. So my parents were very fond of me, and I still clearly remember that when I was a child, my sisters had to help with housework and farm work, but I didn't have to do anything, and my sisters often took care of me, and my life was very easy.
At that time, I was bent on studying, but my academic performance was not very good, but I still did not give up, I was only admitted to college at the age of 24. After graduating from college, I was 28 years old, and at that time my parents were very anxious about my marriage, after all, everyone in our village like my age was already married, and some of the children were already ten years old.
But I don't want to get married too early, I want to wait until the work is stable before I think about getting married. Later, when I was 30 years old, I began to go on a blind date, but I never met the right person, I felt that I did not have a common topic with those blind dates, and I did not want to live with them for a lifetime.
Then I met my wife when I was 32 years old, and the two of us had a good conversation and liked each other. At the age of 33 we got married, and the second year after marriage, my wife gave birth to a son for me, in fact, we planned to have two more later.
However, because of family planning, this idea can only be put away. It is also very good to have a son, at least after having a future, and you can count on your son in the future. Both of us work in the unit, and our in-laws also help with the children, so our life pressure is not great, and our lives are quite relaxed.
My son's academic performance from childhood to adulthood is very good, and I am very proud every time I go to a parent-teacher conference, because my son always gets the praise of the class teacher, and several times the class teacher let me speak on stage, so that I can talk to other parents about how I educate my children. Later, when I took the college entrance examination, my son was also admitted to a well-known key university, so I was really proud of my son.
After graduating from college, my son was admitted to the civil service, and now he works in a public institution, and his life is also very good, and he does not need our old couple to worry too much. Many people will be willing to go to their sons' homes after retirement, and many colleagues and friends around me are like this, and after retirement, they will go to their children's homes to help, do housework or take children, and share some for their children.
Both of us are also sad for our son, after all, he is our only child. But we pay more attention to our later life, when we were young, our days were busy and busy, basically for parents and children, and we should live some of our own lives when we retire.
So we didn't want to go to our son's house to live after we retired, and when we just retired, our son was just newly married, and their young couple also wanted to have some space of their own, and they were not willing to live with us. The two of us had a very comfortable time at home, and when we were bored, we would go to friends to go out on a trip together, or everyone would get together and chat, not to mention how happy it was.
In my third year of retirement, sons and daughters-in-law finally had children. When the daughter-in-law is pregnant, it is the mother who takes care of it, because the mother was a sister-in-law before, and she especially knows how to take care of pregnant women. And the daughter-in-law also wants her own mother to take care of it, so she didn't want us to help.
Later, after the birth of the child, it was also the mother who took care of the daughter-in-law's confinement, and the money spent was from our two sons, and since we could not contribute, it was also appropriate to give some money. However, after the confinement, the mother-in-law could not continue to help, because the daughter-in-law's sister-in-law had an opinion and was unwilling to let the mother-in-law help.
At that time, my son and daughter-in-law wanted my wife to help, after all, my son had to work, and he could only go home after work, and his daughter-in-law really couldn't take care of herself. If we could go to their house, they could take it easy. At that time, my wife agreed as soon as I heard it, but I still didn't want to let my wife pass.
Because the daughter-in-law and our husband and wife are a bit unable to get along, our living habits are really too different, before we also went to our son's house to live, but every time the daughter-in-law is a little unhappy, if it is not really helpless, there the daughter-in-law should not let us pass. If we really passed, then the family would definitely be noisy and noisy, and everyone would not be happy.
So I thought that our husband and wife should not go to my son's house to help, so I discussed with my wife for one night and decided to take out 7,000 yuan a month, and this 7,000 yuan was used to give my grandson a nanny. Asking a nanny is the best choice, first of all, the nanny has a wealth of experience, and the family is professional, and will definitely be able to take care of the grandchildren. Secondly, the daughter-in-law will be more happy and grateful to us, and the relationship between our family will be more harmonious.
Sure enough, my daughter-in-law was very happy after hearing our thoughts and expressed her gratitude to us. At that time, we both knew that we were doing the right thing, although it cost a lot of money, but the daughter-in-law was happy, and we were relaxed.
Since we were willing to pay for a nanny to take care of our grandchildren, I feel that my daughter-in-law's attitude towards us has become better and better, giving us gifts every holiday, and often buying clothes for our old couple, as long as there is time to come back to see us twice a week, which is filial to us.
And Aunt Li in our community chose to go to her daughter's house to help with the child, and worked hard for her daughter's family every day, but she did not get a word of gratitude from her daughter. Moreover, Aunt Li's daughter and son-in-law often dislike Aunt Li, saying that Aunt Li does not pay attention to hygiene and teaches bad children. And the child's poor academic performance is also blamed on Aunt Li, saying that Aunt Li does not have to worry about teaching.
Aunt Li's pension was all spent on her daughter's family, and even the pension money was spent. Aunt Li's health is getting worse and worse, and she can't help anymore. As a result, Aunt Li's daughter and son-in-law directly sent Aunt Li back home, leaving Aunt Li to fend for herself.
Although Aunt Li's daughter later returned the pension card to Aunt Li, the money was simply not enough for Aunt Li to live, because Aunt Li had to spend a lot of money a month to go to the hospital for treatment. During that time, people in our community talked about Aunt Li all day long, thinking that Aunt Li was really a very bitter woman.
Aunt Li is really stupid, in fact, her pension is also quite high, if her choice was the same as ours, then her life now would certainly not be so bad. So I think if you have the ability, try not to help with your grandchildren after retirement, so that you are too tired, and your health will become worse and worse, but it will not be worth the loss.
But it doesn't mean paying nothing, if you don't contribute, then give some money and give part of your pension to your children, which can also reduce the burden on your children, and they will be very grateful. Just like we are now, because we don't have to help with the children, we have a very easy life, and every day is happy and happy.
And because of the money, my son and daughter-in-law are very grateful to us and have always been very filial to our old two. I think that's really good, what do you think?
Write at the end
If the pension of the elderly is high, then hiring a nanny to take care of the grandchildren is definitely the best choice, so that their lives will be comfortable, after all, the elderly are also old, too much work will only accelerate aging, the body will not be able to afford. Although you can't contribute, you can also win the gratitude of your children by paying money, which is better than helping to bring your grandchildren personally.