Danshanya also wrote in "Mother-in-law's Plan against Daughter-in-Law": "If anyone can come up with a wonderful solution to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he should be awarded the Nobel Prize." ”
From ancient times to the present, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a delicate topic with far-reaching influence. The harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can make the family and everything prosperous, which is conducive to family development. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, and a mountain does not tolerate two tigers, not only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not comfortable, but men do not want to live a good life. The mother-in-law contradiction escalated to a husband and wife contradiction, the marriage was shaky, and the poor still had children.
In a marriage that is destroyed by the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no winner, the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law, the man and the child, are all losers, and the most miserable loser should be the man.
Whether it is the mother-in-law or the daughter-in-law who is unreasonable in the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, people cannot help but ask the last question, that is, where did the man die, and why did he not act in the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
As Susan Foward says, "For manipulative parents, the marriage of a child is extremely threatening." They see their children's spouses as competitors for their children's feelings, and they are at war with them, and children are often enemies in order to balance the relationship between the two sides. ”
Either not filial piety, white-eyed wolf, married daughter-in-law forgot the mother, or is the mother treasure man, unclear, not worthy of a wife, the man who is caught by the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is indeed miserable.
When you are a mother-in-law, why should you treat your daughter-in-law, someone else's daughter? In fact, the answer is one, that is, you are treating her well, you are accumulating blessings for your son.
70-year-old Aunt Kang understands this truth, in order to treat her son well to her daughter-in-law, she lived in her son's house for 4 years, and got along with her daughter-in-law day and night, not only did not have three days of a big quarrel and two days of a small quarrel, but also whether it was Aunt Kang or a daughter-in-law, mentioning her mother-in-law or daughter-in-law, will be full of praise, people in the community know that they are a pair of model mother-in-law.
During the chat, Aunt Kang shared her mother-in-law's scriptures: "When people are old, they have a common disease, that is, they like to nag, and when they encounter things that are not pleasing to the eye, they will nag endlessly, and they must have sons or daughters-in-law to do things according to their ideas and make them satisfied before they are willing to give up." However, the son and daughter-in-law have their own ideas and plans, how can they withstand your blind command? When encountering 3 things, you must pretend not to see, turn a blind eye, in order to get along harmoniously, remember, there are too many words, there are definitely loopholes. ”
First, husband and wife do not quarrel, extremely rare, even if you do not help the daughter-in-law, do not join in the fun;
"Oh, they are quarreling, you don't fight, you don't help your son, you still stop me, what are you doing?"
Aunt Tang's son and daughter-in-law talk about each other every three to five minutes, sometimes fine, sometimes arguing.
In the eyes of Aunt Tang's wife, in most cases, the daughter-in-law is unreasonable, and her son has been wronged. Indeed, Aunt Tang's daughter-in-law is an old woman in her mother's home, a pearl in the palm of her parents, spoiled by her parents, more willful, and often troublesome for her husband for some trivial matters.
Aunt Tang's son is more generous and honest, not good at words, as soon as he encounters a quarrel, he has the upper hand, Aunt Tang's wife can't see it anymore, always wants to mix a handful, help her son, Aunt Tang saw the situation, not only did not help, but also grabbed his wife's ear back to the house, allowing the two little two to quarrel outside.
"Have you ever seen a couple who don't quarrel?" Even parents and children can quarrel, let alone husband and wife? Bedside quarrels and bedside fights and haven't you heard of it? Besides, what will your son think if she has the help of her parents and her daughter-in-law's parents are not around? Doesn't she think that we treat her as an outsider, and the family of 3 unites to bully her? ”
The son and the daughter-in-law quarreled, and let Aunt Tang help the daughter-in-law to teach the son, aunt Tang could not do it, after all, the son was indeed wronged. However, she felt that the problem was not big, although the daughter-in-law was more willful, but she was not a bad person, and did not do anything bad that involved principle.
"Since this is the case, as if you didn't hear it, solve the problem yourself!" As a man, even his wife can't figure it out, and it is useless to count on his parents to help. ”
As a mother-in-law, if you are distressed about your son and cannot help your daughter-in-law, then it is better to treat it as if you have not seen it. Husband and wife quarrel, very normal, the problem is not big, the quarrel is good, but if you participate in it, the contradiction may escalate.
Second, whose children are responsible for education, spoil their grandchildren, and run into great disasters, don't you regret it?
"Oh well! There is a breath of air! You actually take money from your pension and recharge the game for your grandson? What do you want? Do you want your grandson to be addicted to games, not good at studying, and not even being able to pass the university in the future? ”
"What's so serious about what you say?" Children love to play, which is a normal thing. However, our daughter-in-law is also too cruel, the money is not given, the mobile phone is confiscated, forcing him to write homework, the child has cried several times, I am distressed! ”
Listening to his wife's words, Aunt Tang became even more angry: "Are you distressed? Who gave birth to a grandson? The daughter-in-law is a mother, she is not distressed? Mother disciplines her son, righteously, shut up your ass? Whose children are responsible for education, spoil their grandchildren, and run into great disasters, don't you regret it? Have you forgotten your nephew's lesson? ”
Aunt Tang's nephew grew up with her grandparents, and under the pampering of her grandparents, she not only failed in her studies, but also indulged in gambling, and went to her parents for help when she owed gambling debts.
Aunt Tang's brother and daughter-in-law sold the two houses in the family and borrowed money everywhere to make up for the holes for the son, but just after making up one, the son owed a huge gambling debt, and in order to repay the money, he committed a crime, and paid a huge price for it.
After her beloved grandson Was imprisoned, Aunt Tang's in-laws were devastated and died less than three years later.
Compared with the in-laws who doted on her grandson, Aunt Tang strictly disciplined her son, who was not only admitted to college, but also loyal and honest, made money in a down-to-earth manner, and lived a very stable life, so Aunt Tang supported her daughter-in-law's strict discipline of her grandson.
With the support of Aunt Tang, the wife could not continue to help the grandson fool around, lost the last help, the grandson was much more honest, and his academic performance also improved.
Third, if you feel that your daughter-in-law is lazy, you will scold your son, let your son be diligent and fast, and your daughter-in-law is not embarrassed.
When Aunt Tang danced square dance, chatting with several peers, an aunt complained that her daughter-in-law was lazy: "The house is about to become a pig's nest, and I don't see her cleaning up, on the weekend, I eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, do not do any housework, and say no, saying that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is bad, hey!" ”
On this issue, Aunt Tang also encountered it. The daughter-in-law is the jewel in the palm of her parents and does not do much housework.
In this regard, Aunt Tang did not find trouble with her daughter-in-law, nor did she look for her daughter-in-law to nag, either choosing to turn a blind eye and treating it as if she did not see it, or she really couldn't look at it anymore, so she scolded her son and asked her son to clean the room and do housework.
"Then, seeing my son sweeping the floor with a broomstick, climbing up and down, the daughter-in-law was embarrassed, and also took the initiative to pick up the tools and do the housework together, the family worked hard, and soon the house was clean."
Under the guidance of Aunt Tang, the son took on the responsibility of the family, could cook, did housework, accompanied the children, saw that the husband had become diligent, and the daughter-in-law was also conscious.
"You are looking for trouble with your daughter-in-law, and she sees that your son is not working, and she questions you, isn't it you who is the one who is wrong?" You have managed your son well, made him a good man, and the daughter-in-law is not embarrassed to make trouble again. ”
As Tu Lei said: "Often a mother's true love for her son is that she loves her wife more, saying anything, saying a problem, first counting her own sons, not counting her daughters-in-law." ”
As a mother-in-law, you are first and foremost a mother, so take care of your son first, so that your daughter-in-law cannot find a point to refute you.
If you are not willing to discipline your son, shut up and turn a blind eye, so as not to lose too much.
END.
Today's topic: What is your opinion of Aunt Tang's mother-in-law sutra? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.