1, in the morning to go to the market to buy vegetables, weighed a pound of river shrimp, the boss skillfully filled the bag and threw it on the electronic scale. I shouted: Slow! He said and pulled out a 500ml bottle of mineral water. Didn't think about it

1, in the morning to go to the market to buy vegetables, weighed a pound of river shrimp, the boss skillfully filled the bag and threw it on the electronic scale. I shouted: Slow! He said and pulled out a 500ml bottle of mineral water. Unexpectedly, the stall owner also reacted to God, and immediately picked up the bag and said: Just remembered, this scale was just broken yesterday, come and I will take you to the opposite side to weigh it. And then I walked away without looking back!。。。。。

2, early in the morning on the weekend to sit in the living room to play mobile phone, my sister got up to see, asked me: "Why don't you go on a date today on Valentine's Day?" I said, "No woman likes me." The elder sister comforted me: "Maybe it's because you're not good enough, if a woman likes you, what are you willing to do for her?" Without thinking, "Anything! The elder sister nodded: "Well, my sister likes you, are you willing to help my sister return the flower shells?" "I...

3. Recently, the company has a new girl who graduated from college. She has big eyes and long hair and white skin, and she is definitely the kind of gentle and cute and sensible type. In addition, there are many men and few women in the office, which is very sought-after, but I don't see who she has touched. One day asked her why, she replied very firmly: I want to work hard to make money! When you are old, you can only take care of a few young and good-looking boys.

4, today's girlfriend's courier arrived, the courier brother sent to the girlfriend. Call your girlfriend: Uncle Janitor won't let me in. The courier brother's tone is very aggrieved, girlfriend: then you put the doorman that, I go down to get it. Then after the girlfriend went down, the doorman was also very aggrieved and said to the girlfriend: Where is not I don't let him in, it is his own laziness. Girlfriend: Er...

5. At night, my wife and I are going to sleep in bed. Suddenly, the upstairs neighbor husband and wife were heard arguing. The quarrel actually started, and after a while I heard the woman crying, which was a miserable one! I was downstairs listening to their progress and thinking about it. It was at this point that someone asked in my ear: What are you thinking? My head was hot and I said: When will I be able to beat my wife? Then the whole building heard my screams...?

6. Walking in the park, I saw a boy crouching there crying, crying pitifully. I went over and asked what was wrong, and the little boy said he had kicked the rock and went on crying. I comforted him like a consolation, and I said to him a big boss, kick your foot and have nothing to cry about. When the little boy listened, he said to me: You didn't kick you, why don't you say it doesn't hurt, you kick it first and then say it. To set an example for the little boy, I decided to kick it. Then I comforted him, and now the two of us were crying together with our feet wrapped around, and we found that it really hurt to kick it.

7, a brother is setting up a stall, one day I went to see him. Suddenly he was in a hurry and asked me to help him look at the stall, and a great uncle came over, looked at a pair of shoes, and asked me how much it cost. I said one hundred directly, and as a result, the uncle slashed all the way to eighty-five, and was preparing to take it out of pocket. At this time, my brothers were walking back after solving the problem, shouting as they walked: Uncle, look at this shoe? Look at twenty dollars to take away. I'll never forget the look in Uncle Grandpa's eyes when he looked at me.

8) I drove my lamborghini to Walmar to buy groceries and met his ex-girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend looked at me and said to him angrily, "I already saw that you are a money lover, and it is good to break up with you." The boyfriend looked at me with a look of embarrassment and a pleading look. I couldn't take it anymore, and I said to her with dissatisfaction: "If you say it again, I won't let my father give you pocket money!" ”

9, the sister-in-law gave birth to a child and was known by her boyfriend, and the sister-in-law first proposed to break up! Her boyfriend did not want this feeling, so he went to a ligature to show his heart, and then the two got back together! But her boyfriend is inconvenient to move every day, and the sister-in-law finds an excuse to let the mother-in-law take care of him! Who knew that the mother-in-law came to the brother one day, crossed the road and ran a red light and was knocked down by the car! There was no way, the sister-in-law had to take over the mother-in-law and take care of the two sick numbers, the mother-in-law said: "I never expected that the two relatives would meet in this way!" ”

10. When I came home from work, my father asked me kindly: What does my girlfriend want to eat? Is roast duck OK? I recently lost weight, so I shook my head and said I don't eat meat while losing weight! Father asked again: What about roast chicken? What about elbows? What about teppanyaki squid? Isn't this still meat? But just when I wanted to say something, my mother suddenly stood up and said with her eyes full of light and said: Honey, the girl does not eat, then let's go out to eat!?

11, yesterday the female colleague rushed to find me and said: Brother, the jianghu emergency, my family wants to force me to go on a blind date, I lied to them that they have a boyfriend, and now they ask me to take it back to let them see, I really can't think of any way to get away with it, so I came to you for help. I thought I would do a favor, and I could rub a meal, and I wouldn't lose anyway, so I agreed. When I got to my girlfriend's house, her father was drinking tea on the coffee table, and when he saw me coming, he called me over and asked me: You are my daughter's boyfriend. I said nervously: Uncle, yes, yes. Her father opened the door and said: Let's make a price. Suddenly startled by her father's momentum, I stuttered and said, "Ah." Her father went on to say, "Well, give you two hundred thousand, and take my daughter away, as soon as possible." Guys give an opinion, do I want to kill or not bargain?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #